Thoughts and concerns

[Dying Failure]

Today was an awful day for me today. I hate sulking in my thoughts and it made me realize how much more I want out of this awful horrific world. I just wish the SN I ordered would come already so I can make my exit. From the time I was little I knew I was not made for this world, from the mother I had to endure to the bullying I endured all the way through school including from my own siblings. Sad when the only people in this world that love me as much as I love them were horribly ripped from my side. I have never been perfect but I truly didn't need for any of these horrible things to happen to me. Once I receive this SN I will say my last goodbyes to everyone which is pretty much no one. The ones I want to say goodbye to I cannot have contact with which makes it harder to try and say goodbye. But I have written a letter to tell everyone it is not their fault the way I have been feeling and the reason I am doing what I am doing. Hopefully whoever finds me will distribute the letter to who it needs to get to. How has everyone else decided they would say their last goodbyes?

 

[Zegers]

I will probably farewell two friends, two others are over sensitive so i will say that the phone doesn't work well and i will have to change it so they will not be concerned when not contact anymore they will think i lost the number.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It will just be here on SaSu that I say my goodbyes, as I don't have anyone to tell.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it could never be a good idea to tell others about ctb plans and say goodbye that way, as after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised and our right to die is not respected. Others could potentially interfere and just make things worse for us, so I would see it as being for the best to write a note to act as an explanation for others and could potentially give them some understanding and of course would be a farewell. I've always felt like I'm not meant for this world as well, maybe that's just the way that some people are.