Because I had a 'brillant' idea to hang myself when I was extremely drunk. No wonder it failed, f**k I am so dumb... Anyway I remember it partially. I tried to press down my neck against the ligature, I even lubricated it with soap to make it quicker. Well, I didn't pass out in 1 minute so I aborted the attempt... or at least it is what I remember. I had no scars on neck so probably I didn't even do a proper load. I was too drunk even to stand vertically so... next time I'll make sure I'm sober and I can control what I do.