This is when you will know it is time

[Snake of Eden]

This week it is getting clearer and clearer that my time is approaching. Suddenly it is hard to bypass the suicidal thoughts and they are becoming all there is. It is not a good feeling. It is absurd and jarring. You know that there is nothing you can do will change your reality to make it tolerable to live. You suddenly lose all the emotional attachments that once kept you going and you find yourself even more unable to belong or relate. You find yourself unable to escape the upcoming end and it is no longer a comforting thought that helps you get through the day but it feels more like unescapable chore to get it over with and be done. I have my N and antiemetics and I am weaning off my antipsychotics. I think I am getting there and there is no way of going back undeniably so.

 

[sadpinky]

I'm with you. These last few days will be over soon I promise. Soon enough we'll all get what we want.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think when it is my time to ctb, I will be in a state of hopelessness and despair. That is the only way I see myself as being able to overcome the SI. I wish you peace.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I think when it is my time to ctb, I will be in a state of hopelessness and despair. That is the only way I see myself as being able to overcome the SI. I wish you peace.

Thats where I am at emotionally.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Depression is something that may or not go away, but it still can be fought against ... until the day it can't anymore.

What you described is a sensation of hopelessness and I'm sorry you feel that way.
It's just like me, frankly I tried everything and nothing has changed, I don't even know why I keep this up.

You deserve better. I still hope that you find something to take all your pain away, but if ctb is the only way, know that the moment your heart stops is the moment a hero leaves this world.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Depression is something that may or not go away, but it still can be fought against ... until the day it can't anymore.

What you described is a sensation of hopelessness and I'm sorry you feel that way.
It's just like me, frankly I tried everything and nothing has changed, I don't even know why I keep this up.

You deserve better. I still hope that you find something to take all your pain away, but if ctb is the only way, know that the moment your heart stops is the moment a hero leaves this world.

Everything has been just a mere distraction from the inevitable ending. Death doesnt come when it seems the only solution left. It has to be brought up by force.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

know that the moment your heart stops is the moment a hero leaves this world.

An hero*

 

[Snake of Eden]

An hero*

What?? That doesnt make any sense. Why are you implying an incorrect correction??

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

You explain things really well. Xo

"Dear Leonard. To look life in the face. Always to look life in the face and to know it for what it is. At last to know it. To love it for what it is, and then, to put it away. Leonard. Always the years between us. Always the years. Always the love. Always the hours."
― Michael Cunningham, The Hours

"But there are still the hours, aren't there? One and then another, and you get through that one and then, my god, there's another."
― Michael Cunningham, The Hours

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

What?? That doesnt make any sense. Why are you implying an incorrect correction??

It's a meme.