August 7, 2024
This is the worst day I have felt.
7:30 I was almost late. I went to my first period class Anatomy and Physiology. I later found out that I missed 60 points quiz in Science100. I know I'm getting anxious because it would badly affect my grades but I ignored it. Another science-related subject quiz just started and I scored below 50 ( it was 48) but I've felt a pang on my heart cuz I didn't get 50 points to add plus 10 in my exam.
During the break I was ignored by someone who told me that she was my friend. I know deep inside that was already a lie. Another pang in my heart. I lost two close acquaintances. I Look around me and everyone of them has their own friend group and I am left alone.
Examination occured my mind is a mess. I couldn't focus on the questions and I know that I already failed. I know that my grades and examinations are not going well. I worry tomorrow's examination especially in mathematics. After the examination, I feel empty.
I went to the bazaar to get some blue lemonade to cheer me up. The blue lemonade was actually sealed in a container. I wanted to cook some meals to go with the lemonade at home so I decided to put it in the bag just like last time cuz it was fine.
My worries earlier is eating me up again and I feel anxious. I thought of going to church because my aunt advice me to do so and I wanted to try again after years of not going. But it started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella so I just decided to go home.
I was on a public bus , when I felt my bag is wet and I realize the blue lemonade have spilled all over the my bag. Turned out the container was faulty and has crack at the bottom. I immediately removed it in my back and threw it away in the trash that was provided by the driver. I teared up but I tried to hold back as other people are looking at me already. It was so embarrassing.
My reviewer was a mess! What a thing that should've cheered me becomes my breaking point of this whole day.
I was walking home when the dogs hit the water in the neighboring house balcony hit their water playing that when I was s walking it splashed on me.
I was walking when the dogs suddenly playing at each other and the other dog accidentally hit their water dispenser. It splashed on me.
Just great! My bag is drenched with blue lemonade and my clothes are also wet. I just continued walking when I was about to open the door Brownie another neighbors' dog came barking at me. I know that dog is scared of everyone. Because the owners didn't properly socialize it. It's worst because their gate was open. My heart was beating fast. I ignored the dog and keyed the door as fast as I can.
I finally got home. I threw away my drenched back to a bucket. I didn't care. It's worse because my charger was also wet. I went to dry it with a towel. But the head of the charger was beyond repair. I can't use it anymore. It didn't helped that my cellphones battery were close to zero. I didn't have an opportunity to charge it because I the charging station at the University was full. I thought I could charge there because it didn't properly charged last night.
I was supposed review but I don't have a strength to review anymore. I cried so hard I felt like I died inside. I cried like I'm grieving. I'm grieving for my failed future. I'm scared at my families judgement and disappointment. I am so dumb and naive. I felt so alone. I have no one to talk to. I am tired of my brother comparing himself to my situation. I am so jealous of him that he can handle stress and have his friends with him. I know that he is always better than me. I can't talk to my mom because I know she wouldn't understand and think I am weak (because I am).
I am so emotionally tired. I went to the kitchen and cooked some chicken nuggets as I was hungry. I was zoning out as I watched the nuggets getting fried. I quickly lowered the fire of the induction as I went to the bathroom to urinate. Suddenly I cried so hard that my eyes were puffy by the next day.
I finished eating my lunch. I just went to sleep. I no longer have the strength to do anything.
I woke up again and it was night already. I don't know what time because my phone is dead and I haven't opened the laptop. I was in my room. I heard my mom closed the door. I pretended to be asleep and I waited for her to go back to her room.
I silently opened my door. I remember that I have to bring calculator for my math exam that I have predicted that I was going to fail. I was panicking and looking for it everywhere to the point that I make mess. My brother saw me awake was there telling me to sleep already.
But I wasn't listening. I keep rummaging Ng every part of the living room and my bedroom. My mind is a mess. I broke dow again for the second time. I really feel useless this days. I'm tired again. Even though I just slept. After I found it to one of my bags. I went back to sleep hoping my sadness would just go away.
This is the worst day I have felt.
7:30 I was almost late. I went to my first period class Anatomy and Physiology. I later found out that I missed 60 points quiz in Science100. I know I'm getting anxious because it would badly affect my grades but I ignored it. Another science-related subject quiz just started and I scored below 50 ( it was 48) but I've felt a pang on my heart cuz I didn't get 50 points to add plus 10 in my exam.
During the break I was ignored by someone who told me that she was my friend. I know deep inside that was already a lie. Another pang in my heart. I lost two close acquaintances. I Look around me and everyone of them has their own friend group and I am left alone.
Examination occured my mind is a mess. I couldn't focus on the questions and I know that I already failed. I know that my grades and examinations are not going well. I worry tomorrow's examination especially in mathematics. After the examination, I feel empty.
I went to the bazaar to get some blue lemonade to cheer me up. The blue lemonade was actually sealed in a container. I wanted to cook some meals to go with the lemonade at home so I decided to put it in the bag just like last time cuz it was fine.
My worries earlier is eating me up again and I feel anxious. I thought of going to church because my aunt advice me to do so and I wanted to try again after years of not going. But it started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella so I just decided to go home.
I was on a public bus , when I felt my bag is wet and I realize the blue lemonade have spilled all over the my bag. Turned out the container was faulty and has crack at the bottom. I immediately removed it in my back and threw it away in the trash that was provided by the driver. I teared up but I tried to hold back as other people are looking at me already. It was so embarrassing.
My reviewer was a mess! What a thing that should've cheered me becomes my breaking point of this whole day.
I was walking home when the dogs hit the water in the neighboring house balcony hit their water playing that when I was s walking it splashed on me.
I was walking when the dogs suddenly playing at each other and the other dog accidentally hit their water dispenser. It splashed on me.
Just great! My bag is drenched with blue lemonade and my clothes are also wet. I just continued walking when I was about to open the door Brownie another neighbors' dog came barking at me. I know that dog is scared of everyone. Because the owners didn't properly socialize it. It's worst because their gate was open. My heart was beating fast. I ignored the dog and keyed the door as fast as I can.
I finally got home. I threw away my drenched back to a bucket. I didn't care. It's worse because my charger was also wet. I went to dry it with a towel. But the head of the charger was beyond repair. I can't use it anymore. It didn't helped that my cellphones battery were close to zero. I didn't have an opportunity to charge it because I the charging station at the University was full. I thought I could charge there because it didn't properly charged last night.
I was supposed review but I don't have a strength to review anymore. I cried so hard I felt like I died inside. I cried like I'm grieving. I'm grieving for my failed future. I'm scared at my families judgement and disappointment. I am so dumb and naive. I felt so alone. I have no one to talk to. I am tired of my brother comparing himself to my situation. I am so jealous of him that he can handle stress and have his friends with him. I know that he is always better than me. I can't talk to my mom because I know she wouldn't understand and think I am weak (because I am).
I am so emotionally tired. I went to the kitchen and cooked some chicken nuggets as I was hungry. I was zoning out as I watched the nuggets getting fried. I quickly lowered the fire of the induction as I went to the bathroom to urinate. Suddenly I cried so hard that my eyes were puffy by the next day.
I finished eating my lunch. I just went to sleep. I no longer have the strength to do anything.
I woke up again and it was night already. I don't know what time because my phone is dead and I haven't opened the laptop. I was in my room. I heard my mom closed the door. I pretended to be asleep and I waited for her to go back to her room.
I silently opened my door. I remember that I have to bring calculator for my math exam that I have predicted that I was going to fail. I was panicking and looking for it everywhere to the point that I make mess. My brother saw me awake was there telling me to sleep already.
But I wasn't listening. I keep rummaging Ng every part of the living room and my bedroom. My mind is a mess. I broke dow again for the second time. I really feel useless this days. I'm tired again. Even though I just slept. After I found it to one of my bags. I went back to sleep hoping my sadness would just go away.
