Help This is so scary...

[faust]

I started writing this post at 23:29 Greenwich. This was an extremely strange day.
Well, the day itself is just like any other, however, I want to write everything down to some extent because want to get rid of the remaining
symptoms. Everything started after work, I did not feel much tired, however, did not take this into an account simply because I am extremely tired all the time.
A few hours later instead of deadly tiredness came a very strange perception of the world surrounding me. And even then I was not yet thinking something is going
terribly wrong. Everything was different but did not seem odd. When I came home, I started tiding the room and doing the laundry. And as soon as I started going down the stairs, the shit started...
Like a low-voltage electric shock my state of mind started altering and I got very paranoid. The vision was a bit blurry and I realized it's kinda scary to go out.
Loaded the washing machine and heard something/somebody behind me.
It's been a few hours since I started constantly turning around and seeing nothing. Every fucking sound makes me shiver and instantly check what is behind. Every living and not thing makes me feel everything is watching me and wants to drive me mad. That's scary. Neighbors' cat is looking at me, tries to tell me something,
do things it never fucking does, looking straight to my eyes, a bat was doing 3 circles 3-4 meters above my head. This paranoia makes everything too much mystified.
It sometimes feels I am not alone there and I don't want to check this out... Never have paranoia and here it is. It's like, you know, a delirium during/after a hangover and everything
you see you recognize as real. One song is stuck right now in my mind. It is "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden. Cannot stop singing it. And I still don't want
to get out to have a smoke...
00:21 Have just seen two lights outside the house, looked like eyes of an animal when you walk in the dark forest with a flashlight.
00:22 Fuck, I saw them in a different spot,but now it looked like a reflection of what's behind me...... It looks like a cat but there is nothing behind.
00:26 I will try to meditate, maybe it goes away...
00:40 Will go outside, try to convince myself these are just hallucinations.
00:46 Returned from smoke. The door screeched behind me, this made me panic. However, panic returned me to reality for a few minutes. Damn, why SS is not loading when I need it so much. Gonna wash the dishes right now, go upstairs and take diphenhydramine to make me drowsy. Too much energy.
00:58 Decided to take a hot shower to make me relax a little bit.
01:02 Finally posting this, this is the only connection now for me with the real world...

 

[Red]

Here for you dude, sounds hella scary!
You taking any medications?

 

[Ardesevent]

Paranoia can settle in if you're isolated or feel isolated from other people. Sometimes it's just lack of sleep or extreme tiredness.
Taking a moment just to stop and breathe helps me out a bit, but hopefully it goes away after you get some sleep.

 

[MsMaudlin]

That does sound scary.
How are you now?
❤

 

[faust]

@Red No, I don't take any. Have just found some Olanzapine from the last therapy, took a half of 10mg tablet. I guess this will be better than 50mg diphenhydramine. I am not scared of panic attacks, that's just adrenaline, but this is not a panic attack, this is a pure psychotic disaster... I know first is unreal, the second you believe in everything you hear and see....
@Ardesevent I was deadly tired the last few weeks. Heated the water, now take a shower, by this time olanza should already kick in
@MsMaudlin I will be back in 20-30 minutes, will say how it is going. Now I closed all the doors, all the windows, all the floor is with lights on.

 

[Red]

Bless you hon sounds horrible
Hope it settles soon and you can relax!
In the meantime, we're here

 

[faust]

@Red Thanks a lot for your love and support
Now I am in bed, had a nice shower, was not too scary, only a few times had feeling that somebody is behind the door and a few times heard some strange sounds.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

@Red Thanks a lot for your love and support
Now I am in bed, had a nice shower, was not too scary, only a few times had feeling that somebody is behind the door and a few times heard some strange sounds.

Hope your doing better fausty, get a good nights sleep if you can and see how things are. Let us know if your up all night or anything I normally am anyways

 

[faust]

@drowinginsorrowww I don't remember how I fell asleep, did that accidentally and did not plan to go to bed I think
P.S. Now feeling very tired as usual
P.S. 2 And thank you! :) Though I was already sleeping and could not read your post in time :/

 

[Epsilon0]

*hug* @faust

came a very strange perception of the world surrounding me

I've had those flashes of "awareness", of "being". They are strange indeed.

It is "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden.

At least you've got some cool music playing inside your head... You could be stuck with a hip hop song

 

[Deleted member 14386]

*hug* @faust



I've had those flashes of "awareness", of "being". They are strange indeed.




At least you've got some cool music playing inside your head... You could be stuck with a hip hop song

I wouldn't mind some NWA but the mubleraps now, ugh, I'd kill mysel- oh wait.
How are you feeling fausty?

 

[faust]

@Epsilon0
Sending a hug back!
Well, the music is cool, but the lyrics can work as affirmations (sigh)

 

[Soulless Angel]

How you feeling now?

 

[faust]

@drowinginsorrowww Yes, or at least old Eminem songs.
I am very tired, it is a normal state for me, taking some rest.
@User Does Not Exist

 

[Epsilon0]

By the way, @faust

Next time this happens to you, try to think that Bruce Dickinson is screaming

Fear of the DUCK
Fear of the DUUUUUUCK

You'll feel all the anxiety magically disappear.

Here's a visual to help you see it more clearly:

 

[Deleted member 14386]

LMAO^^
Just take an off day (I call them blanket days where I get my fav blanket and watch movies/tv all day from the sofa lol), Hopefully you just need some rest and chicken soup

 

[faust]

@Epsilon0 If only we assume anatidaephobia does not exist ;)

 

[Epsilon0]

@Epsilon0 If only we assume anatidaephobia does not exist ;)

You should start a thread called SS Word of the day, @faust
I know I learned smth new today :-)

 

[faust]

@drowinginsorrowww Maybe will take some rest tomorrow, not much of a rest, but still. Tomorrow can be my last today, so why not take a rest before some more rest
@Epsilon0 You are welcome!

 

[lostangel]

That sounds very scary. I would be shook. I don't know what to say but you did the right checking it out. How you been sleeping well lately?