Venting This is ridiculous.

[CreamCheeseCaliforn]

I hate existing so much. I'm tired of getting told "it gets better". I love my friends but seeing them have more success in their relationships, their schooling, and their mental health recovery just makes me realize how fucked I am. I'm a bum, a loser. I hate that I have nothing going for me and the only fun I have anymore is getting high and playing Overwatch. I want to kill myself so bad but even that's expensive. I don't want to overdose on my mom's pills because she needs those, I don't want to jump into traffic and traumatized someone due to my own selfishness. I was thinking helium but how the fuck am I gonna get access to that? I don't even have the funds to kill myself. Wish I lived in Canada or something so I could legally have them euthanize me or something. I don't think it gets better, not for some people. At this point I just gotta accept death because living like this is hell. I was doomed from my birth.

 

[amaluuk]

have you given thought to partial suspension? could help

 

[CreamCheeseCaliforn]

have you given thought to partial suspension? could help

Sorry I'm unfamiliar, would you mind explaining what that means?

 

[amaluuk]

Sorry I'm unfamiliar, would you mind explaining what that means?

It's a modification of what we'd call full suspension but you probably recognize as just general hanging, i.e. kicking a chair out and completely suspending yourself mid-air. The idea behind partial suspension is to try to make the experience far less painful by only suspending the upper half of your body and having you fall into the knot after losing consciousness, the loss being attained from replicating a blood choke.


Video showing a blood choke ^^

Process works by constricting the carotid arteries and cutting off the brains access to blood, while trying to avoid constricting your jugular veins and creating the immense head pressure/exploding feeling that would otherwise be associated with suffocation/hanging. You'll pass out much faster with your carotids constricted, and the idea is that if you pass out from carotid compression, you'll fall into partial suspension and suffocate while unconscious, averting the worst of the experience.

Evelyn's complete guide on how to hang yourself with both partial and full suspension hanging

Are you new to hanging? Or maybe just trying to find out if hanging is the right method for you? This reading guide has you covered! This is your one stop shop to both partial suspension hanging and full suspension hanging. This is a reading guide to the guides I published on this forum so far...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I haven't been able to get it to work for me, but for some it's very effective. One of the main benefits is the ability to do it basically anywhere with anything that can tie and hold a knot. This reached a level of ludicrousness for me as I once was practicing positions against my doorknob and my dad came over to visit and knocked on the door while I was on the other side trying to hang myself and had to quickly pull the robe tie I was using off the door before he came in and realized what I was doing. Because of your means, this method might be ideal.

Edit: I would personally echo OP's advice in the linked threads to go for full suspension as even if you fuck it up and it hurts, it's the #1 suicide method of American teenagers everywhere and if those kids could figure it out back then it will work so long as you have patience (to tie a good knot) + time (to not be found). Sometimes though the frustration of partial suspension failures is needed to encourage one to go for full suspension.

 

[CreamCheeseCaliforn]

It's a modification of what we'd call full suspension but you probably recognize as just general hanging, i.e. kicking a chair out and completely suspending yourself mid-air. The idea behind partial suspension is to try to make the experience far less painful by only suspending the upper half of your body and having you fall into the knot after losing consciousness, the loss being attained from replicating a blood choke.


Video showing a blood choke ^^

Process works by constricting the carotid arteries and cutting off the brains access to blood, while trying to avoid constricting your jugular veins and creating the immense head pressure/exploding feeling that would otherwise be associated with suffocation/hanging. You'll pass out much faster with your carotids constricted, and the idea is that if you pass out from carotid compression, you'll fall into partial suspension and suffocate while unconscious, averting the worst of the experience.

Evelyn's complete guide on how to hang yourself with both partial and full suspension hanging

Are you new to hanging? Or maybe just trying to find out if hanging is the right method for you? This reading guide has you covered! This is your one stop shop to both partial suspension hanging and full suspension hanging. This is a reading guide to the guides I published on this forum so far...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I haven't been able to get it to work for me, but for some it's very effective. One of the main benefits is the ability to do it basically anywhere with anything that can tie and hold a knot. This reached a level of ludicrousness for me as I once was practicing positions against my doorknob and my dad came over to visit and knocked on the door while I was on the other side trying to hang myself and had to quickly pull the robe tie I was using off the door before he came in and realized what I was doing. Because of your means, this method might be ideal.

Edit: I would personally echo OP's advice in the linked threads to go for full suspension as even if you fuck it up and it hurts, it's the #1 suicide method of American teenagers everywhere and if those kids could figure it out back then it will work so long as you have patience (to tie a good knot) + time (to not be found). Sometimes though the frustration of partial suspension failures is needed to encourage one to go for full suspension.

Thank you.

 

[hoppybunny]

Goood luck. While i do.hope.you can get better i hope whatever the result is brings you peace.