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Kanashiii

Kanashiii

Member
Apr 24, 2024
26
OVERCOMING NATURAL SURVIVAL INSTINCT/PHOBIA OF HEIGHTS OR IMPENDING DOOM/Possible Reasonably Plausible Method For Me?

(READ THIS: Before I continue, please feel free to fact check me, or provide any constructive criticism, I'd hate to have had one of these wrong, and then either cancel the whole plan, end up in a hospital, or paraplegic, feel free to jump in and recommend what youd do co-realting to this specific method, or how youd adjust it to overcome SI, or possibility of failure, Thank You!)

*SI is something that has been daunting me for a while, and has obviously messed up MANY past attempts leading to psych ward admissions, and shame upon me from my family, loved ones, and friends. Im planning to go out with a bang, and have read from varousother posts; that trying to simply just go out and do it with no plan rarely works, and mainly results in non-fatal yet life changing injuries, therefore, I took about half and day researching to the exact specifics for overcoming SI/Easing moments before CTB, and have spent a decent couple of days researching possibilities of falling from a height including why the survivors of high heights do actually survive. With this said, this is my plan here |||
vvv

Substances Used
-AntiEmetics/Dramamine (Prevent Nausea/Throwing Up)
-DXM 600-1000 MG (Dissacociate, numb fear/SI, dull pain, tamper higher decision making skills)
-Alcohol (Like 10-20 shot glasses over the time span of 15-45 Min? Not sure if itd do, but with the dxm, its bound to have great synergy, also dulls SI significantly in high enough quantities, tampers decision making skills, etc)
-Nitrous Oxide? (Extract the N20 from canister into a ballon/elastic glove?)
-Agmatine Sulfate? (BIG maybe, saw this used in another posters method, reddit says it stimulates some people, and not sure if adding it to the mix would do much tbh)
-Benedryl (Antihistamine, helps with nausea from things like Drugs/Chemicals eg: Alcohol/Dxm)
-Computer Duster???

Jumping
-Parking Garge Building (Same one Ive visited twice or thrice now, 10 storys high (Avg 100+ Ft), down to an unpopulated alleyway, nothing but concrete ground down there, no pebbles, bumps, trash nothing to slow my descent/break the fall. Only issue is, there is a really big high reputation hospital 3 blocks from where Ill make impact, so if I'm saved, Ill be in for a hell of a ride. Plan to take the AntiEmetic T+0:00, Ill wait 1:30 Hours to ensure that the substance is in effect, then drink the dextromethorphan at T+1:30, wait for effects to onset which is about another 1:30 Hours for me due to past substance abuse. T+3:00 take dramamine again to ensure that I dont get nauseous due to the upcoming alcohol, then wait 30 Min, T+3:00, now, drink alcohol, the reason I wait this long to drink alcohol is because alcohols peak effects set in at around the 1 hour+ mark, but DXM (Dextromethorphan) takes about 2-3 hours on average for it to hit peak effects for me after consumption, this meaning, since I took the dxm at 1:30, and alcohol at 3:00, both should be hitting its peak at around the same time, may be off as the body isnt pinpoint accurate with digestion, but just a little guestimate. Now at this point, Ill be walking to the garage, and take the elevator, as at this point, my coordination will be out of whack, and I probably wont be able to make it up the stairs in under 10 minutes which will bring attention to me. Once I get to the top, Ill play some music on my earbuds to add to the lack of situational awareness, then bring out my balloons, or gloves filled with N20, I heard hyperventilating helps with lack of readily available oxygen to cells I believe? So Ill hyperventilate for about 5 min maximum, then breath out, wait for a sec, then inhale copious amount of this N20, until I either pass out, and fall off the edge of the building, or become greatly dissasociated, at this level of cognitive dysfunction, and just being out of it, with the intent of jumping, itll be a walk in the park, I dont even think Id be mentally able to care about any negative outcome, causing me to just take a leap of faith, and for the actual jump, IF I dont go unconscious from the N20, and just disoriented, Ill just fall backwards, as the spine, neck, and back of brain (Important Functions) are located there. Im pretty confident in this thought out method.

Drowning
As for drowning, there is a local bridge near me, leading to the big river by the name of "The American River", it is a LONGGG stretch of water, and runs through my city I believe, so, same ol same, and as for getting into the waer, Ill either use the n20 to pass out and fall into the water, use the night night method just to pass out THEN fall into the water, or if all else fails, just jump in a horribly angled dive, as for weights to keep me from swimming up, I have no clue, Im hoping that the combination of substances will keep me from even being able to walk without tumbling straight to the floor.

Hanging
As for hanging, Id have to go out of my way to find a rope that wont snap, as the extension cord I used last time succeeded to almost make me lost consciousness, but SNAPPED instead, leaving me humiliated. And Id also get air duster, I read up on a assisted euthanasia case where the poor soul had inhaled copious amounts of air duster at once causing her to lose concoioussnes, causing her to fall off the pedestal holding her, which led to her either asphyxiation or blood loss to the brain from the rope, with this in mind, Ill lose concioussness, fall from the stool, and then prevent me from further breathing preventing all hopes of regaining councioussness, which will result in a CTB in about 10-20 min of full suspension im guessing. I will also keep in mind to use the other listed substances because lets face it, If I knew 100 Percent Id pass SI would hit like a truck (no pun intended Haha), I might have some type of second thought, or hesitation, causing attention, or a walk of shame back home, just to realize that Im a absolute buffoon for not going through, and continuing to live with this unbearable pain.

Please Please Please, feel free to fact check everything to the minute detail, or give recommendations of what you'd do differently if you feel so, but yeah, theres my method, I dont have money right now, so I'm considering just stealing the items (Really easy and almost non punishable in my state), going out for either method at night time, and executing my final acts. Thank you for reading this extensive rambling tangent thoroughly!
Yes I know there are lots of grammer issues
 
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
350
Are you the person who was going to jump off the building yesterday? If you weren't successful the first couple times I don't think that jumping is an option for you at all. 🕯️
 
Kanashiii

Kanashiii

Member
Apr 24, 2024
26
Are you the person who was going to jump off the building yesterday? If you weren't successful the first couple times I don't think that jumping is an option for you at all. 🕯️
Lol, yes, an old homeles guy kept on going up and down 10th story, it scared me so I walked away, I tried to post ab it, but it never got acceptance from the mods for sm reason???
Are you the person who was going to jump off the building yesterday? If you weren't successful the first couple times I don't think that jumping is an option for you at all. 🕯️
 
painoflife

painoflife

Arcanist
Jul 27, 2019
454
A possible issue could be the walk to the garage, if other people see you during this when the substances are peaking and coordination is poor they could be the good samaritan and offer to help you get home safely (if they assume just drunk/out of it) or even call for medical help.

It is often said on here that combining multiple methods allows for more possibility of something going wrong, you seem to have thought this out with how things interact but also if one thing doesnt go to plan would it still work? I am not sure. There is the possibility of simply passing out before reaching the target area or ending up passed out on the roof alone
 
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Kanashiii

Kanashiii

Member
Apr 24, 2024
26
A possible issue could be the walk to the garage, if other people see you during this when the substances are peaking and coordination is poor they could be the good samaritan and offer to help you get home safely (if they assume just drunk/out of it) or even call for medical help.

It is often said on here that combining multiple methods allows for more possibility of something going wrong, you seem to have thought this out with how things interact but also if one thing doesnt go to plan would it still work? I am not sure. There is the possibility of simply passing out before reaching the target area or ending up passed out on the roof alone
For the first issue, this is indeed a HIGH possibility of happening, I may just have to hope they think that im just another crackhead on the street at night, (a SUPER common appearance here in downtown, but yes, going to a high place while being visibly impaired may attract the "hero" civilians, maybe drowning is more plausbile? As the journey there is purely through forest land basically, secluded from everyone, apart from some homeless people (Who problably wouldnt care much), or hanging, as Id do it in the same general location?
 
painoflife

painoflife

Arcanist
Jul 27, 2019
454
I think the biggest thing you learn about jumping was that SI is strong so you have thought about ways to dull that. If you were to attempt either of the other methods you are likely to feel that same force preventing you because your mind knows the outcome.
I dont have any advice on how to overcome it because I am in the same boat of either messing it up or the SI is too much so I delay. Its hard to describe to people that invisible force preventing you doing something which sounds so simple no matter how determined you feel
 
Kanashiii

Kanashiii

Member
Apr 24, 2024
26
I think the biggest thing you learn about jumping was that SI is strong so you have thought about ways to dull that. If you were to attempt either of the other methods you are likely to feel that same force preventing you because your mind knows the outcome.
I dont have any advice on how to overcome it because I am in the same boat of either messing it up or the SI is too much so I delay. Its hard to describe to people that invisible force preventing you doing something which sounds so simple no matter how determined you feel
Exactly, its so damn frustratng, like you could for example walk to the building detemrined, take the stairs or elevator to the top floor determined, and walk t the ledge determined, but like, as soon as I look down, or get to the edge, its like I literally physically cannot do it in a normal mind, and yes you are correct, thats why I am trying a combination of things mainly substance oriented to either completely dodge this, or at least nullify it to the point of it being doable, though Im not 100 percent sure that these substances will null the primal part of our brain that instincitvely keeps us out of harms way no matter what, I have faith in it, perhaps Ill either have to just find out once I get all these materials (Cause I most likely have to steal them), or unless some physics/biochemistry wiz preaches to me what the most likely outcome of this for the "Average" human would be. Thank you much for your input though, I wish you nothing but peace for whatever reason you may also be on this forum!
 
pilotviolin

pilotviolin

Student
Jan 27, 2024
199
i know its been a couple of days but i agree that the combo would make you physically impaired and i dont know your tolerances/experiences and i personally havent mixed these substances but it looks like theres a chance when peaking you really wont wanna do anything or black out or something worse thats undesirable. ive always been drawn to jumping but get really bad vertigo/SI so i honestly considered getting myself desensitized to heights somehow through just exposure, and trying to train myself to relax my muscles. though ive also really considered same as you taking dissos and going that way but i feel like unless you know how you react to a range of situations (especially outside) on that dose and combo i dont think its reliable at all and likely has really ass consequences for failing.
 
Kanashiii

Kanashiii

Member
Apr 24, 2024
26
i know its been a couple of days but i agree that the combo would make you physically impaired and i dont know your tolerances/experiences and i personally havent mixed these substances but it looks like theres a chance when peaking you really wont wanna do anything or black out or something worse thats undesirable. ive always been drawn to jumping but get really bad vertigo/SI so i honestly considered getting myself desensitized to heights somehow through just exposure, and trying to train myself to relax my muscles. though ive also really considered same as you taking dissos and going that way but i feel like unless you know how you react to a range of situations (especially outside) on that dose and combo i dont think its reliable at all and likely has really ass consequences for failing.
yeahhhh it fucking sucks, I forgot to note that taking dxm while on a ssri is recipe for disaster, had bad serotonin syndrome for a decent bit, I feel a bit better now, but the brain fog does not want to go away, it feels like i went down by atleast 20 IQ, i feel dumb mentally. Getting some cash money on saturday hopefully, so if its physical cash, ive decided that Im just gonna go up to the plug, buy H, then buy eerclear or smirnoff, mix the two, and just chill in a bathtub until I pass out and drown, or suffer a heart attack, lose concioussness, and then drown, thats the most plausible thing that I can think of, heights is a fear ill never get over lol. Thank you greatly for the input tho!
 
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