Thinking Of Leaving. But

[MBiopic]

Hello to everyone on this amazing forum.

I'm gonna get right to business. I'm planning on committing suicide sometime soon using the Night-Night Method.

Living has become dreadfully painful for me at times, I don't think I can handle being in this world anymore. I'd rather take my chances and see what awaits me on the other side.

The thing is, I still have my parents, my brother, my girlfriend, and my dog. I feel better when I'm with them, but at the same time feeling better only makes my suicidal tendencies worse. I don't know if that makes sense.

I feel guilty for my thoughts about suicide. Because those people love me, whether I believe it or not, I'm aware of that. I'm scared of leaving them behind and making them sad. However I also don't know if I could take it any longer.

Any advice? For.. whatever? The method, the coping with guilt? Anything, really! Thanks.

 

[LXR515]

I relate to the fear of the guilt a lot. The way that has helped me cope is realizing that ultimately my life is my choice in what to do with it, and that they'd understand if they could live in my body and mind. Regardless it's a hard thing to wrap your mind around.

 

[Whiston72]

Guilt is such a useless emotion and I am at a loss as to why it has evolved with humans. Is it a warning sign for us from our sub-conscious? Maybe this isn't your time.

 

[MBiopic]

Guilt is such a useless emotion and I am at a loss as to why it has evolved with humans. Is it a warning sign for us from our sub-conscious? Maybe this isn't your time.

Oh, that is indeed a very good answer. Thank you!

Guilt is such a useless emotion and I am at a loss as to why it has evolved with humans. Is it a warning sign for us from our sub-conscious? Maybe this isn't your time.

Interesting theory.

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Why feel guilty? I mean we act as if society is supposed to fix things, sickness especially. We act as if time heals all wounds and trauma fades with the ticking of the clock as it drags us all forward.

Are we wrong? Is it all just pretend? Hmm. Interesting question.

Ask yourself why you feel guilty. Ask it again and again and again until it makes sense to you. Guilt is the sister of shame and the brother of liability.

I don't believe there are any right or wrong answers. Nature isn't interested in the rightness or wrongness of things or the moral squabbles drowning humanity. The world will continue to turn. People will move on. It's all an experience of experiences experiencing itself. I gave up my guilt sometime ago when I gave up this feeling of obligation to a world that is constantly in motion. The past flows into the future. A thousand years from now will my death even be a grain of sand in the back of anyone's mind? No. And those people left behind can do with the experience of me as they wish. Causality will unify in the entropy until it's all as if nothing was ever here at all. In the future, I am already dead. In the past did I ever really exist? It can all feel like someone else's memory. Someone else's sadness and grief. It will test them. It will wound them perhaps but people move on.

Maybe ask them how they would feel if you died mysteriously. See how they react. Question their questioning of it. We can't really control how people react but the least we can do is ask them about it.

 

[MBiopic]

Why feel guilty? I mean we act as if society is supposed to fix things, sickness especially. We act as if time heals all wounds and trauma fades with the ticking of the clock as it drags us all forward.

Are we wrong? Is it all just pretend? Hmm. Interesting question.

Ask yourself why you feel guilty. Ask it again and again and again until it makes sense to you. Guilt is the sister of shame and the brother of liability.

I don't believe there are any right or wrong answers. Nature isn't interested in the rightness or wrongness of things or the moral squabbles drowning humanity. The world will continue to turn. People will move on. It's all an experience of experiences experiencing itself. I gave up my guilt sometime ago when I gave up this feeling of obligation to a world that is constantly in motion. The past flows into the future. A thousand years from now will my death even be a grain of sand in the back of anyone's mind? No. And those people left behind can do with the experience of me as they wish. Causality will unify in the entropy until it's all as if nothing was ever here at all. In the future, I am already dead. In the past did I ever really exist? It can all feel like someone else's memory. Someone else's sadness and grief. It will test them. It will wound them perhaps but people move on.

Maybe ask them how they would feel if you died mysteriously. See how they react. Question their questioning of it. We can't really control how people react but the least we can do is ask them about it.

An intriguing and interesting point of view. Thanks!

 

[Onelegman]

You haven't said anything about it, but maybe try to seek help from a therapist? Someone to help you deal with those thoughts, it may not be too late for you.

 

[MBiopic]

You haven't said anything about it, but maybe try to seek help from a therapist? Someone to help you deal with those thoughts, it may not be too late for you.

Hey there! Thanks for the suggestion. I have been going to a therapist for a long time, and now I am in what is called a Home for Hope. Basically a house where people who are in crisis live together. It's a very supporting and therapeutic environment. Still…

 

[Onelegman]

Hey there! Thanks for the suggestion. I have been going to a therapist for a long time, and now I am in what is called a Home for Hope. Basically a house where people who are in crisis live together. It's a very supporting and therapeutic environment. Still…

I didn't know places like that existed. Although I suppose that there is also suffering and that the therapist has not achieved much during this time. It's good that you still have people who love you, I don't have that many, or so my mind tells me, and it's painful to think about what they will suffer when I'm gone. But I have reached the point where my "selfishness" is such that nothing matters to me anymore, I cannot stay suffering to avoid theirs, if I stay and continue seeing and suffering when they get sick or die I know I would never be able to bear it, I think my heart would break like in a cartoon.

I'm sorry I can't ease your pain even a little. I hope you find an answer to your questions. Here you will always be welcome to release those words from your mind that no one who knows you wants to hear.

 

[MBiopic]

I didn't know places like that existed. Although I suppose that there is also suffering and that the therapist has not achieved much during this time. It's good that you still have people who love you, I don't have that many, or so my mind tells me, and it's painful to think about what they will suffer when I'm gone. But I have reached the point where my "selfishness" is such that nothing matters to me anymore, I cannot stay suffering to avoid theirs, if I stay and continue seeing and suffering when they get sick or die I know I would never be able to bear it, I think my heart would break like in a cartoon.

I'm sorry I can't ease your pain even a little. I hope you find an answer to your questions. Here you will always be welcome to release those words from your mind that no one who knows you wants to hear.

Thank you. Your words mean a lot. I hope you find your peace of mind as well, one way or another.