Venting Thinking of cutting off my testicles

[Proton]

I've been considering it, for years atp.

My body cant tolerate anti androgens, I am on E but had to go off them due to health reasons. My doctors and insurance keep denying me the surgery and telling me to wait and to prove I'm a real woman etc, I already have a bunch of letters from therapists. They basically want me to prove a bunch of bullshit for insurance, like just do the fucking surgery FFS. These dumbasses could atleast schedule it so I'd feel less stressed.

I have considered it in the past which I wish I did, but they probably would've convinced me to go on trt or some shit.

I have3 options
Dangerous - slicing off my balls, cutting them open and removing the testicles and getting rid of them
Medium- injecting alcohol until their damaged enough, go to a urologist and then tell them that I feel pain there, and since they're damaged enough they'll remove them
Safest- take out a loan and just get the surgery done safely. There still needs to be a medical reason though and I'd need to prove it

Lastly, it's not easy to get the orchie, there still needs to be a medical reason for it, and a bunch of other bs. And If I cut them off I could be held indefinitely in a psych ward which isn't a good idea at all. I also could fuck over my parents lives; even though I don't care about them I don't want to damage their life negatively. There's certain reasons for that and I'd rather not list it publicly.

Why am I posting this? Because it's making me suicidal and affecting my daily life.

 

[ilovenewyork]

That has to be the worst idea ever. Why don't you just not? Be patient and let the doctors do their thing

 

[Proton]

That has to be the worst idea ever. Why don't you just not? Be patient and let the doctors do their thing

I don't want to remasculinize

 

[SomewhereNew]

Please don't seriously there's no way you could go through with it mentally and I don't want you to even try

 

[Gangrel]

unless you have the biggest nerves of steel i doubt one can cut their own balls off without extreme pain that will make you regret it for the intense suffering

 

[SomewhereNew]

unless you have the biggest nerves of steel i doubt one can cut their own balls off without extreme pain that will make you regret it for the intense suffering

It's gotta be like sticking a knife into an outlet, except that outlet is a giant mass of nerves

 

[Proton]

It's gotta be like sticking a knife into an outlet, except that outlet is a giant mass of nerves

Pain killers, drugs, local Anaesthesia

 

[Panache]

Option 3 seems by and far the best

 

[fadedghost]

i'm not a surgeon, but i would be worried about infection, long-term pain, accidentally cutting into a vein or artery while doing the procedure, and the possibility of passing out while doing it.

i would go with option 4 if this is something you need to do

there are other countries that do surgeries that are much cheaper, like Thailand. That may be a bad idea, but you could at least research this. Some overseas surgery places more often have deaths and complications. But #1 seems much riskier than option 4.

i support trans rights, but there are people who have the surgeries who can complications and are even more unhappy after. i am so sorry things are so awful, good luck.

 

[ginko0]

Simply don't. If you're not a surgeon you will just damage your body. I understand you're a trans person, and things are going bad nowadays for you guys. But this is a really bad idea.

There must be some other way.

 

[BlueberryDeer]

I know disphoria is a b***h, but please reconsider. It could be serious medical issues for not doing properly.
Struggling with dysphoria is overwhelming but perhaps there is another options to get an orchie in another place.

 

[U. A.]

What the fuck.
If you aren't a surgeon don't even fucking think about it.

 

[48meow53]

If your body rejected spiro, please know there are other options than cutting off your testicles. Please look into DIY hrt for alternative anti androgens.

 

[uzl lover]

dont even try

 

[48meow53]

If your body rejected spiro, please know there are other options than cutting off your testicles. Please look into DIY hrt for alternative anti androgens.

I also completely stopped spiro after 8 months of hrt and am now only on 4mg e/day and my chest is still growing and my t isn't rising, so you only need a small supply of better anti androgens.

 

[nendn]

I suggest you do not have the balls to cut off your balls :) whatever , be well love

 

[JassieDusk]

I remember watching a dude on wpd cut off his testicles due to cancer, he bled out and I can only imagine it was a painful death. The chances of it happening to you are very high. Best case scenario you will end up permanently deformed.
Look into other options, countries, clinics. There must be a better idea than to cut off your organs by yourself.
No, please don't do it

 

[anhedonic_moron]

don't, best to listen to your doctor.