blueb3rrycloud
Student
- Sep 24, 2023
- 3
The first week I starting dating my bf, I felt like I was on cloud 9. I hadn't felt nearly that good in a very very long while.
But now this new thought keeps occurring to me. I find something like a calming peace when I'm with him, it's a rare moment where my mind isn't a "storm". But this is the best I will feel, and I know school and life in general really weighs on the both of us. He's told me before that if I ever ctb he will too, and I have no doubt he's completely truthful when he says that.
So, the thought that's occurring. What if we ctb together? I know that if I brought the idea up to him he'd likely agree, I mean we've joked about it in the past. However, could I do that to his family? If I fail I will never live down the guilt. We'd leave letters but our families won't be the same.
We're both suffering and though we help each other I don't know how long I can keep suffering. I keep hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel but I'm losing hope that there ever will be.
But now this new thought keeps occurring to me. I find something like a calming peace when I'm with him, it's a rare moment where my mind isn't a "storm". But this is the best I will feel, and I know school and life in general really weighs on the both of us. He's told me before that if I ever ctb he will too, and I have no doubt he's completely truthful when he says that.
So, the thought that's occurring. What if we ctb together? I know that if I brought the idea up to him he'd likely agree, I mean we've joked about it in the past. However, could I do that to his family? If I fail I will never live down the guilt. We'd leave letters but our families won't be the same.
We're both suffering and though we help each other I don't know how long I can keep suffering. I keep hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel but I'm losing hope that there ever will be.
