
Pure
Specialist
- Jun 29, 2021
- 366
Just some ramblings. It's so crazy how when you're deep into planning suicide and deep into suicidal ideation that people's response is just get therapy. Yeah, it's a good suggestion if you're a normie and don't experience deep desire and initiative to ctb but if not??? As someone said on here, it's like asking a stroke patient to find a doctor who vibes with you while you're having a stroke.
Shopping for a therapist and dealing with insurance and wait times is literally such a dehumanizing experience. Suicide is way more appealing: cheap to free (hello I can get a bottle of SN for $20 plus a cheap motel room for less than $100 to do it in, that's less than what most therapists charge for an hour) and it actually takes away my problems. Therapy just exacerbates me. SSRIs and the like suck and barely work. The only treatment that I can think of that has potential to work immediately are ketamine infusions but each treatment is $450-$2k per session.
I guess my ideal therapist is a pro choice person who can help me guide my life in an impersonal way and tell me if I'm at a point to ctb or not. I don't like the idea of someone supposed to pretend that they're emotionally connected with you when it's not true at all. And their goal is just to keep you alive no matter how miserable you are. I want someone to tell me when/if that time comes that yes I agree you're miserable enough for me to say that suicide is the better option
Shopping for a therapist and dealing with insurance and wait times is literally such a dehumanizing experience. Suicide is way more appealing: cheap to free (hello I can get a bottle of SN for $20 plus a cheap motel room for less than $100 to do it in, that's less than what most therapists charge for an hour) and it actually takes away my problems. Therapy just exacerbates me. SSRIs and the like suck and barely work. The only treatment that I can think of that has potential to work immediately are ketamine infusions but each treatment is $450-$2k per session.
I guess my ideal therapist is a pro choice person who can help me guide my life in an impersonal way and tell me if I'm at a point to ctb or not. I don't like the idea of someone supposed to pretend that they're emotionally connected with you when it's not true at all. And their goal is just to keep you alive no matter how miserable you are. I want someone to tell me when/if that time comes that yes I agree you're miserable enough for me to say that suicide is the better option
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