thinking about parents finding me

[JessIsAlive]

i just cant stop imagining what it will be like for them when they find me and no matter what i do it will be a traumatic experience that they might never overcome

 

[drraculaurra]

Me too. I've thought of sending a prewritten message to the police after i'll CTB so that they are'nt the one to find me but i'm scared that i might not be dead then and that they'll save me

 

[hhttt25]

Maybe You should do it in a hotel

 

[devils~advocate]

I have the same situation since I will ctb in a bedroom at my family home.
My plan is to do this when my family is asleep or they are away from the home for some time.
I know it will be traumatic for them to find me, esp for my mother. Shes the only one I dont want to hurt. Shes done nothing but been supportive in my entire life.
Everyone else in my life though, I want it to make them think about what I have done. For some, I want it to hurt them.

I thought about sending a delayed text message to someone I know, that in turn can get in contact with authorities etc...before my family is aware.
Im not sure though if this would work or not.

Another thought was that I would print out a message to post on the bedroom door that warns them about what has happened to me.
Telling them to call 911 and to not open the door. But I know they won't do that and would open the door anyway.

This guilt of how it will affect my family is the final piece of emotional dilemma that I will deal with in my life.
I feel horrible in what this will do to them. I guess my only recourse, is that they are elderly now which is better than if I did ctb 20 years ago.

 

[JessIsAlive]

I have the same situation since I will ctb in a bedroom at my family home.
My plan is to do this when my family is asleep or they are away from the home for some time.
I know it will be traumatic for them to find me, esp for my mother. Shes the only one I dont want to hurt. Shes done nothing but been supportive in my entire life.
Everyone else in my life though, I want it to make them think about what I have done. For some, I want it to hurt them.

I thought about sending a delayed text message to someone I know, that in turn can get in contact with authorities etc...before my family is aware.
Im not sure though if this would work or not.

Another thought was that I would print out a message to post on the bedroom door that warns them about what has happened to me.
Telling them to call 911 and to not open the door. But I know they won't do that and would open the door anyway.

This guilt of how it will affect my family is the final piece of emotional dilemma that I will deal with in my life.
I feel horrible in what this will do to them. I guess my only recourse, is that they are elderly now which is better than if I did ctb 20 years ago.

i feel bad but i know my suicide is kind of inevitable
this body of mine is a prison and i literally cant take the misery and pain anymore
i cant prevent my own suicide because nothing will make me want to live