Help Thinking about cancelling a job interview - advice, please

[Deleted member 18655]

I have an interview on Tuesday. It's in my field and would be a good job if I land it. But I'm toying with cancelling it and need advice.

The interview's in person, which means the job would be at least partially. I'd have to wear a mask to the interview. I'm medically exempt thanks to PTSD and really don't want to go into the interview having tremours from a stupid piece of plastic. I also don't want to have to explain why, if I got the job, I wouldn't be wearing one in the office. For as politically correct and inclusive as my country is, it won't matter these days.

I also don't want to spend the next few days psyching myself up (and freaking myself out) at the thought of putting that thing over my face. It's not going to happen. I'm lucky so far that I can do a few things a week in shops and haven't had any problems being maskless. But this is for a sort of health centre. I just can't see a lot of compromise being made.

Besides the fact that I can't get excited about anything in the future and taking a job only to off myself in the coming weeks seems counterintuitive. Should I send them an email Monday that I cancel, or is there another option? For once, I'd love if Zoom were an option but it's not.

What would you do?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

As hard as it may be I'd still try to go. You don't want to push yourself into a corner where you have no option but to CTB. Maintaining your options are crucial up until the final moments.

 

[Soul]

@coeur.brisé, if you cancel, are there other jobs readily available that wouldn't require time spent in an office scenario? I gather this one you're interviewing for is a good opportunity, but not your Dream Job, so if you have reasonable work options you could bypass this one without too many misgivings.

Or you could go and explain that you have medical reasons for not wearing a mask. Maybe there's a balcony or patio or something where the interview could be held at "social distance" without masks.

(((Hug)))

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

If you think your like the job, I say try and relax, pretend your an actor whatever it takes and give it a go, think of it as an adventure.

sometimes I try to help people and make things worse, sorry if I did this.

 

[TheQ22]

Playing devils advocate - if they say you need to wear a mask to interview and you turn up and say in effect "well I'm medically exempt, so you need to do what I say" - well, you might as well not bother going at all.

They aren't going to want to employ someone who is a - to use the most apt phrase that springs to mind from their perspective - pain in the arse deliberately argumentative person from the first second you meet them.

Imagine in their minds how much of a pain you'll be after 5 minutes. Or 5 years.

If I may say so without meaning to sound mean - those people want to employ someone to fix THEIR problems, what you're talking about is not about them and what they need, it's you and your problems and how they need to understand what you need - me, me, me I think this, I like that, I don't want to do X.

The other people going for that job won't behave like that, so will have a far better chance of getting it.

It isn't going to work. Save yourself the trouble.

Sorry not trying to be negative, that's the vibe I'm getting from what you said - if I've got it wrong I apologise profusely.

 

[metalgarurumon]

I would try to attend the interview, and as for the mask, I'm not sure what to say. If you didn't wear one & didn't for your hypothetical employment I don't see that ending well for you in many ways...(catching the sickness, or how your co-workers or employers may take to that). It's a tough boat, but in the end I think you'll do what's best for you. It's a bit hard to give advice when I probably don't have the same medical experiences as you do. I think @TheQ22 got it perfectly in explaining how the employer would perceive it.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think you'll have problems for as long as masks are required and it's working in health care. I agree there likely won't be much willingness to compromise. When starting out as a new person, one has to deal with people automatically being wary of an outsider, there's always a bit of natural paranoia until someone proves themselves, and it's going to be even more challenging with the COVID paranoia. With PTSD, it's not outwardly obvious that you have a disability, so it won't garner the sympathy that would make people be more accepting of needing to do things differently.

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

I do a lot of stuff like this when I approach ctb attempts. All I can say is that I regret it more after I fail and then have left myself in an even worse position.

Better to be suicidal and comfortable than suicidal and extra stressed, no?

 

[Sinai Silence]

Would you be able to request wearing a face shield instead of a mask or can't you wear those either? I think you should try go ahead with the interview if possible, every interview just gives you more experience for the next one even if you don't want the job. I'm sure something else will turn up if you decide not to go.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Thank you, everyone. I really did want a lot of opinions so I could make a truly informed decision and you gave me a lot of things to sort out. I'm going to email them and cancel without burning any bridges and pursue a job that's been in the wings for a while. I'm so glad I asked. Thank you again!

As hard as it may be I'd still try to go. You don't want to push yourself into a corner where you have no option but to CTB. Maintaining your options are crucial up until the final moments.

I went back and forth about it - through my unintended all-nighter too. I realised I have a better option than this one. The "cons" side of my list longer than the "pros" but I am going to have this outlook throughout the rest of my time. I'm very open to life turning around at the very last minute - not hopeful but open to it.

Or you could go and explain that you have medical reasons for not wearing a mask. Maybe there's a balcony or patio or something where the interview could be held at "social distance" without masks.

Thanks! I thought about this: my country is big on inclusion and making accomodations for any "special needs" but this COVID ridiculousness has meant that no one can be included. They would have too many accomodations to make for me and that alone would stress me out.

If you think your like the job, I say try and relax, pretend your an actor whatever it takes and give it a go, think of it as an adventure.

sometimes I try to help people and make things worse, sorry if I did this.

I loved this! I don't know if I have the will to tolerate a mask but the idea of trying it is intriguing. One doctor told me to try wearing around the house a few minutes at a time; I'll use this idea as I try it. I'm against the whole idea of masks (0.011% of my city of over 1 million has it. It's 30oC outside; the mask idea is a little late) but I truly can't handle wearing one. But maybe I'll find some famous person to emulate and go day-tripping LOL

They aren't going to want to employ someone who is a - to use the most apt phrase that springs to mind from their perspective - pain in the arse deliberately argumentative person from the first second you meet them.

Imagine in their minds how much of a pain you'll be after 5 minutes. Or 5 years.

BINGO! This was the main reason I decided against it. I don't want to be a pain in the whatever. And they don't want to pay for one!

@TheQ22 got it perfectly in explaining how the employer would perceive it.

Yes. They would have alarm bells going off if I did bring it up. I thought about pushing through and going for it but the thought of putting that thing on makes me panic. I wish I knew why!!

I think you'll have problems for as long as masks are required and it's working in health care. I agree there likely won't be much willingness to compromise. When starting out as a new person, one has to deal with people automatically being wary of an outsider, there's always a bit of natural paranoia until someone proves themselves, and it's going to be even more challenging with the COVID paranoia. With PTSD, it's not outwardly obvious that you have a disability, so it won't garner the sympathy that would make people be more accepting of needing to do things differently.

This. And up here, they're talking about them being mandatory for two years at least. I'm drawn to applying for Work from Home jobs anyways. I make online learning so I don't need anything I can't get from my home office and the world has proven that technology makes my job ideal for this.

Better to be suicidal and comfortable than suicidal and extra stressed, no?

I lost my job a month into Lockdown here, four months ago. I'm still looking for another one. The monotony and boredom are driving me crazy. I want a job to have structure. The fact that I'm probably going to be ctb in a few weeks makes me feel bad for them, but any employee is replaceable so I'll get over it.

Frankly, the biggest reason is that it's a French job - I'm so rusty I'd be wasting their money lol. The stress at the idea of working/thinking in French full-time does my head in these days.

Would you be able to request wearing a face shield instead of a mask or can't you wear those either? I think you should try go ahead with the interview if possible, every interview just gives you more experience for the next one even if you don't want the job. I'm sure something else will turn up if you decide not to go.

Thanks. What you wrote about other jobs turning up stuck with me. There are tonnes of jobs and they're only now interviewing. I have the government COVID pay to take care of bills but I do want to get back to work! There's something about covering my face and seeing people I know with their faces covered - with a mask or a shield. I wish I knew what it was so I could "work on it" but I can't remember anything that would trigger it. So I just don't go out and I avoid seeing people I know because I can't handle seeing them in masks. It's pathetic for sure!

 

[AvaAdore]

Edit: I read your responses after I posted.
Good luck in finding the right job for you!

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Would a face shield meet the requirements and also not bother you?

I like the idea because it's transparent but, even as I imagine it, i'm getting anxious. Nothing major but I can feel my body reacting to the thought of it. My therapist would be proud that I'm "present." I think I would feel like I was in a plastic bag , that would be worse.

Thank you for the suggestion. There are just too many reasons not to do it. The biggest is that I'm not confident enough to work in French.