chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
Okay (4th time editing) , I'll make this thread for anyone who likes to share any sort of thing, it can be poetry, lyrics to a song you composed or liked, a brief story, a drawing, a doodle, whatever you like. If the content is not original (written by the person who posts), please specify or quote the owner. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, so no worries, post whatever, I myself write sometimes but it can be stupid or cringy so pls no judging.

I'll start with something I just wrote:

I'm breathing clouds of metal,
my lungs are boiling like a kettle.
I wish they could be emptied
cause there's already more than plenty
Of all these words
which are not even heard
by all the tiny mockingbirds
That fly around inside my ears
and with their songs of tears,
they bring my fears
Up to the surface,
and with them comes the usual purpose,
one of burden, one that is uncertain.
With them also comes a certain clarity,
one that lights up my insanity,
Which I care for like a childhood friend,
who will keep me company till the very end.
And my end I wish was near,
and that, I think, is very clear.
So everyone around me
thinks it's key
That I'm to be fed with their pity,
though I don't find that very gritty.
So to conclude this trip of misery,
I will leave them many mysteries
And that, I consider it my victory.


Sorry if it's long or for eventual mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: postmortem, CuriousAboutThis, TheDevilsAngel and 7 others
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
No one has nothing to write so I'll just keep writing myself lol

How do you know if you exist
When your senses are playing you tricks?
Floating in a limbo you find your peace
Then you fall down and see that feeling decease
Coming back to reality is always a question mark
Are you awake or just a shadow in the dark?
You knew only once
Float, float in wonderland
You're just a kid building castles of sand
Float, float in wonderland
You only wanted mother to hold your hand
How do you know when to fall asleep
When you can't possibly count all of the sheep
They always watch you from above
But you don't know which ones are real or which ones are not
So you just hope for someone to tell you
That it's okay if you are feeling confused
But you wouldn't believe them anyway
Cause they're not ready to fade away
Like you do
Float, float in wonderland
You're just a kid building castles of sand
Float, float in wonderland
You only wanted mother to hold your hand

I wanted to write a song but idk if this is stupid or what
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: postmortem, TheDevilsAngel, omw/2/ctb and 2 others
SeekingSolace

SeekingSolace

‘The sleep of reason breeds monsters’ -Goya
Jan 28, 2019
139
No one has nothing to write so I'll just keep writing myself lol

How do you know if you exist
When your senses are playing you tricks?
Floating in a limbo you find your peace
Then you fall down and see that feeling decease
Coming back to reality is always a question mark
Are you awake or just a shadow in the dark?
You knew only once
Float, float in wonderland
You're just a kid building castles of sand
Float, float in wonderland
That little kid only wanted to hold your hand
How do you know when to fall asleep
When you can't possibly count all of the sheep
They always watch you from above
But you don't know which ones are real or which ones are not
So you just hope for someone to tell you
That it's okay to feel confused
But you wouldn't believe them anyway
Cause they're not ready to fade away
Like you do
Float, float in wonderland
You're just a kid building castles of sand
Float, float in wonderland
That little kid only wanted to hold your hand

I wanted to write a song but idk if this is stupid or what

Your writing is beautiful, thank you for sharing. ❤️
 
  • Like
Reactions: postmortem and chlorine
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
Your writing is beautiful, thank you for sharing. ❤
Thank you so much, I never shared it before so I don't really know how others see it, and I love your avatar :)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: postmortem
Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
I can post a "love letter" never delivered to the woman who made me want to ctb -_-
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel and omw/2/ctb
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
I can post a "love letter" never delivered to the woman who made me want to ctb -_-
Am sorry for your heartbreak, If you'd like to share it you can post it, maybe you can find a little relief :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel
Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
Am sorry for your heartbreak, If you'd like to share it you can post it, maybe you can find a little relief :)

You're the most beautiful person I ever met.
Not because you seemed taller at the wedding
Or wanted to take my hand
I know
It's all my imagination

You is the most beautiful because you is pretty inside and outside
I never meant to hurt you

Outside
Because your smile is lovely
Because your body moves freely
Like the waves of the sea
Every day, every day you told me

Inside
Because you are happy with yourself
Feels good at solitude
You always tried to warn me
But you heard me more for be a good person
I know

I can't look me in the mirror
I'm weak
My tears don't work

You deserve much more
And I'm stuck, I've always been
I will always be...

"Feeling" or "Not Feeling"
It's the face of the same coin
There is no doubt
for me and for you

You feel young.
Inside and outside
I was young only beside you.
A beautiful fantasy
You're the most beautiful person I ever met

You made me want to live.
A dream in my life

Now
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't want to be
I don't want to feel
I don't want to exist
END
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel, Empty Smile, omw/2/ctb and 1 other person
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
You're the most beautiful person I ever met.
Not because you seemed taller at the wedding
Or wanted to take my hand
I know
It's all my imagination

You is the most beautiful because you is pretty inside and outside
I never meant to hurt you

Outside
Because your smile is lovely
Because your body moves freely
Like the waves of the sea
Every day, every day you told me

Inside
Because you are happy with yourself
Feels good at solitude
You always tried to warn me
But you heard me more for be a good person
I know

I can't look me in the mirror
I'm weak
My tears don't work

You deserve much more
And I'm stuck, I've always been
I will always be...

"Feeling" or "Not Feeling"
It's the face of the same coin
There is no doubt
for me and for you

You feel young.
Inside and outside
I was young only beside you.
A beautiful fantasy
You're the most beautiful person I ever met

You made me want to live.
A dream in my life

Now
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't want to be
I don't want to feel
I don't want to exist
END
Thanks for sharing. Your feelings seem very genuine, I'm sorry for the heartbreak, hope it'll resolve or that you'll get better <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel
Davy

Davy

Have a great day!
Mar 24, 2019
144
Okay (4th time editing) , I'll make this thread for anyone who likes to share any sort of thing, it can be poetry, lyrics to a song you composed or liked, a brief story, a drawing, a doodle, whatever you like. If the content is not original (written by the person who posts), please specify or quote the owner. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, so no worries, post whatever, I myself write sometimes but it can be stupid or cringy so pls no judging.

I'll start with something I just wrote:

I'm breathing clouds of metal,
my lungs are boiling like a kettle.
I wish they could be emptied
cause there's already more than plenty
Of all these words
which are not even heard
by all the tiny mockingbirds
That fly around inside my ears
and with their songs of tears,
they bring my fears
Up to the surface,
and with them comes the usual purpose,
one of burden, one that is uncertain.
With them also comes a certain clarity,
one that lights up my insanity,
Which I care for like a childhood friend,
who will keep me company till the very end.
And my end I wish was near,
and that, I think, is very clear.
So everyone around me
thinks it's key
That I'm to be fed with their pity,
though I don't find that very gritty.
So to conclude this trip of misery,
I will leave them many mysteries
And that, I consider it my victory.


Sorry if it's long or for eventual mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.

I like your style. I don't have a knack for writing but this sounds really nice, keep it up friend
 
  • Like
Reactions: chlorine
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
I wrote a self forgiveness letter to myself.

Dear me,

I'm sorry for burying your unfulfilled dream selfishly. I knew I made too many excuses in order to avoid doing the hard work. Please forgive me for not doing enough, for failing your expectation, for settling less than what you wanted. I gave up too easily. I didn't put enough effort. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for not standing up for yourself. People ridiculed us, belittled us, and shaming us for being a failure in society. I'm sorry I didn't fight back. I indirectly let other egotistical people ruined your dignity and worth. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for purposely playing the game of victimization. I knew I was simply stalling for time. I let our precious youth went to waste by inaction. I couldn't recover what was lost. I let the cloud of depression to blind us, keeping us stuck in the dark place we shouldn't be. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for giving more effort to ctb instead of being productive. I'm just tired to keep on going. I'm only searching the peace that we both craved for a long time. Please forgive all my past mistakes.

Sincerely,

Escaper Boy
 
  • Like
Reactions: housecat, chlorine, TheDevilsAngel and 2 others
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
I already posted this on the thread on random thoughts, I wanted to delete it and post it here cause it seems more appropriate, but I don't know how to delete it :/

How is life a circle,
If a circle has no end?
One moment you own a universe,
The next you're rotting flesh.
People always hasty,
they like the chaos, they like the frenzy
Of living in a million pieced puzzle
but there's no soul, there's only muscle.
And in this self inflicted spiral
of self abuse, of self denial;
I wait and think of things
that make me sick,
But there's no trick
If we choose to stay awake
we choose to ache, we choose to shake
Cause all the shivers
down our spines
They all remind us
we're still alive
though we really don't know why
For I can't bare the pain
of living in a skin coated cage,
So I just can't wait to see
my own world apocalypse.
I wrote a self forgiveness letter to myself.

Dear me,

I'm sorry for burying your unfulfilled dream selfishly. I knew I made too many excuses in order to avoid doing the hard work. Please forgive me for not doing enough, for failing your expectation, for settling less than what you wanted. I gave up too easily. I didn't put enough effort. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for not standing up for yourself. People ridiculed us, belittled us, and shaming us for being a failure in society. I'm sorry I didn't fight back. I indirectly let other egotistical people ruined your dignity and worth. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for purposely playing the game of victimization. I knew I was simply stalling for time. I let our precious youth went to waste by inaction. I couldn't recover what was lost. I let the cloud of depression to blind us, keeping us stuck in the dark place we shouldn't be. It was all my fault.

I'm sorry for giving more effort to ctb instead of being productive. I'm just tired to keep on going. I'm only searching the peace that we both craved for a long time. Please forgive all my past mistakes.

Sincerely,

Escaper Boy
Have you dubbed thee unforgiven? If you get the reference :P anyway, very nice idea to write yourself a compassionate letter, I think we often forget to give ourselves a break from all the self hatred we build inside :)
 
Last edited:
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
Somewhere between fear and silence
You find your restless crying
And somewhere beyond the horizon
Your mind is running, fighting, hiding
You never let it still
Cause it's rolling down a hill
And the hill is full of stones
That make you crack and break your bones
But if they're broken you don't care
You just don't want to be that scared
Scared of losing to yourself
And not being able to feel again
Catatonic, like a coma
You need to cure your hematoma
Oh, please cure your hematoma.
The thousands hills judge you all the time
Cause you're not able to make it right.
And you have tried to climb the wall
so you could see what rises above
But you've been left with broken blades
and only managed to reach the gate
with so much redness in your eyes
But they're still dry and full of lies.
That's why you're scared of losing to yourself
And not being able to feel again
Catatonic, like a coma
You need to cure your hematoma
Oh, please cure your hematoma.



Lonely, lonely little fish
In your bubble you wait
you wait to become a dish
But a dish you don't want to be
You hope for someone to set you free
But the world outside is scary
full of monsters for you to bury
so you're trapped in this state of mind
a mind you hope no one will find
and it this world of uncertainty
you crave something to help you to finally
Fly, fly above the water
find your place and reach your daughter
She is waiting for you outside
so you better not close your mind
Oh, lonely lonely little fish
You still haven't figured out
how to save your family
Cause you don't even know
If in your family you will be known
So you don't know what to do
You hope for your end
You hope for your doom
The doom, you think, will finally solve it
That big black hole, it will destroy it
though you don't know if darkness is a friend
maybe it just wants you to hold its hand
Fly, fly above the water
find your place and reach your daughter
She is waiting for you outside
so you better not close your mind
Oh, please, don't you close your mind.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Escaper Boy, AhG, TheDevilsAngel and 1 other person
Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I can write things in my head which sounds perfect. But then when I write it down, I either fuck up the words I had in my head, or after reading it, I think it's shitty.

But I have enjoyed your writings. They are awesome!
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CuriousAboutThis, TheDevilsAngel and chlorine
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
I can write things in my head which sounds perfect. But then when I write it down, I either fuck up the words I had in my head, or after reading it, I think it's shitty.

But I have enjoyed your writings. They are awesome!
I think you should write them down, I think my writings are shitty as well but it's still nice to share your thoughts with people of a similar mindset :) i'd suggest you share yours too, but of course no pressure, i am just curious. No one is judging by the way :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel
TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
I just feel so lonely
In the bloody place
Ive prayed for love and forgiveness
But it never comes my way
Ive sat here day by day
Watching life go by
These things these thoughts these wishes
There was no light for me
Ive listened and ive watched how people all go by
The envy and the hurt it even made me even cry
The anger that filled up inside of me
I want to hurt them bastards but i just cant find a way
The only way is peace which i no wont come my way, i need to leave this place and i need to get away
I thought i had some hope
But i was fooled again
These games these lies this life
It will never go away ..
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Escaper Boy, CuriousAboutThis, chlorine and 1 other person
C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
Poetry of the real year

The real year,
Not in fear,
Look at me dear,
Hold onto my honey,
This may be funny,
Looking at those cute innocent bunnies,
A symbol of spring of love maybe faith,
Follow down the path,
Where shall it lead me?

This year should not represent,
My absence of existence,
Remember the real year,
But remove the fear,
As it steers us into a crashing cliff,
As the waves splash up against the rocks,
As if you hear the sounds,
Bound together by nature,
Not to be a hater,

Bring us together,
Synchronicity of the love,
We brought together,
We shall fight for one another,
As if we were brothers,
Sisters, mothers, and fathers and so on,
All the family and friends and pets and support network,
That we've gained and those we have lost,

The real year,
Without all the fear,
Searing heat of the sun,
That brings us warmth,
Opposite of the cold ice,
That will freeze our might,
Not to create a fright,
But we must continue on through the year,
As if we peer through the fog of reality,
As the dreams continue,
Follow down the path,
Same as the nightmares,
Not to create a snare,

But be aware of the consequences,
And the sequences of reality,
If we must make sacrifices,
Then so be it within the year hopefully without fear,
As we peer through the day,
And through the night,
Within different cycles of the living and also the dead,
We might leave bread,
As a token of our gratitude,
For our ancestors of our reality,
Just don't leave me,
Come back to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Escaper Boy, chlorine and TheDevilsAngel
C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
I just feel so lonely
In the bloody place
Ive prayed for love and forgiveness
But it never comes my way
Ive sat here day by day
Watching life go by
These things these thoughts these wishes
There was no light for me
Ive listened and ive watched how people all go by
The envy and the hurt it even made me even cry
The anger that filled up inside of me
I want to hurt them bastards but i just cant find a way
The only way is peace which i no wont come my way, i need to leave this place and i need to get away
I thought i had some hope
But i was fooled again
These games these lies this life
It will never go away ..
Beautiful seems relatable in a way to my life to some extend.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TheDevilsAngel
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
I already posted it on my profile page a short while ago. I think it's better if I post it here instead.

Wager

I've lost the wager, slaved to wrong ancestry
Condemned to prison I could never flee

I've lost the wager, chained to flawed sexuality
Coerced to stay concealed from vile society

I've lost the wager, the gamble of existing
Confronted with future which I lose everything
 
  • Like
Reactions: chlorine, CuriousAboutThis and TheDevilsAngel
AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
I have many poems about my wife, but I don't know. I miss her at my worse times, but I still manage to write out my feelings towards her.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: chlorine and CuriousAboutThis
Escaper Boy

Escaper Boy

累坏了...
Apr 11, 2019
245
I wrote a poem about my experience as lgbt in homophobic country.

Closet

The cursed land, my homeland
I long to escape to promised land

They cast hate, like a play
My feeling is not a public toy

I must hide, to the end
Veil is better than roasting flame

They forge smiles, I fake smiles
Memoir is but a thousand lies

I love him, the agony
Heart still frozen for eternity

It's unfair, I prevail
Coping with life of loveless tale
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trannydiary, postmortem and chlorine
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
Goodnight, sunlight
I let the stars with you
Hide on the dark side of the moon
So don't come back,
please let me rest
Let me wait till my eyes melt
And my heart becomes lifeless
Cause I've waited more than enough
But every day feels more and more rough
So i don't wanna be no more
Just let me be gone, put me in a morgue
In there it will be dead silent
And for the first time I'd be smiling
Smiling at my success
In ending my loneliness
Cause a hundred dead bodies
would sit with me and tell me their stories
Of how they ended where they'd be
and oh, so silently, we'll find our peace
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: postmortem, CuriousAboutThis and ayanonikki
C

CuriousAboutThis

Uncertainty in life uncertainty for the next life
Dec 30, 2018
533
Fear of life,
fear of death,
either side whether light,
whether dark without the snark,
if its dark like the ocean,
the only source of light is the full moon,
shining in the sky,
barely any clouds,
the only sound is the movement of the waters,
and sound of the wind,
however it begins,
and however it ends,
it is not my call to make,
the decisions lie within fate,
something that goes beyond my control,
something greater than myself,
maybe a God one, few, or many,
maybe even none,
it weighs a ton,
could be angels, demons, devils, gods, heavens and hells,
annihilation and reincarnation,
above us all of humanity,
within sanity or insanity,
the choice is yours,
not mine alone,
within this earth born from dirt,
from the dying stars above us all,
within the grand scheme of things,
within this universe or multiverse,
it could be a curse or blessing,
could be both,
who would know?
 
  • Like
Reactions: chlorine
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
It's not my fault,
it's nobody's fault
If we are flawed
and we are flawed.
And it would need an act of god
to change this state of living fraud
and we do all live in fraud.
But it's magical, it's magical
it's oblivious, it's not logical
Yet in this world all is rational.
Yes it's magical, it's magical
it's oblivious, it's not logical
Cause in my world nothing's rational.
We're all doomed, in the end
cause a friend is just a friend
And we need love,
we all need love,
not being judged from above
oh, being judged from above,
but it's reality,
and it's sad its frailty.
My world is magical, it's magical
it's oblivious, it's not logical
Yet in this world all is rational.
Yes it's magical, it's magical
it's oblivious, it's not logical
Cause in my world nothing's rational.
And in this radical dilemma
i'll never conclude my agenda
My agenda of love, no fear beside me
I only want love, no fear inside me.
Just love,
no fear beside me
Only love,
no fear inside me.

Just something I wrote at 4 am when i wasnt in this freaking hospital lol.


All she needed, to feel at ease
''someone please, stay with me''
that could heal her abnormality
Even though it was hard
getting in touch,
it would've required much
to be able to help her, for she was scarred.
And she didn't have a very soft touch
with all the people that surround us,
they're too much of a burden
they become blurred in
the chaos of her brain,
it's like looking for a needle
in a million straws of hay.
Oh, love her, love her
Somebody, love her.
But no one ever listened
and she became unlisted
among the list of people alive,
and that's the end of all the lies.
The lies of the people who pretend
that nothing's coming to an end
But all in all we're all the same,
Always trying to explain
our unreliability,
fueled my our morbidity,
a morbidity that invades our minds
like cancer in the sky
and that's excactly why
no one ever dares to fly.
Love her, love her
Somebody, love her.
But no one ever listened
and she became unlisted
oh, she became unlisted.
 
Last edited:
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
We're just chemical reactors
Producing nuclear reactions
We're made of flesh
And nothing else
But it's not true
And you know it too
There may be a soul
Deep down our bones
And if there's not
Our brains speak for us
That there's more to us
And we should discuss
Our role in here
In this universal tear
Made of stones, of clones, of sorrow
So please let me borrow
A grain of happiness
That will destroy that nothingness
Which fills ourselves
But who knows?
We're made of air,
Of love that is unfair
Of love that hides in corners
But it's just us drawing borders
Borders to defend, borders to pretend
That everything we know is true,
Yet when I'm with you,
I find my only truth.

Sorry I keep posting here, I just feel like sharing these things even if they're not seen or not good.
 
postmortem

postmortem

i'm trying.
May 30, 2019
24
Okay (4th time editing) , I'll make this thread for anyone who likes to share any sort of thing, it can be poetry, lyrics to a song you composed or liked, a brief story, a drawing, a doodle, whatever you like. If the content is not original (written by the person who posts), please specify or quote the owner. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, so no worries, post whatever, I myself write sometimes but it can be stupid or cringy so pls no judging.

I'll start with something I just wrote:

I'm breathing clouds of metal,
my lungs are boiling like a kettle.
I wish they could be emptied
cause there's already more than plenty
Of all these words
which are not even heard
by all the tiny mockingbirds
That fly around inside my ears
and with their songs of tears,
they bring my fears
Up to the surface,
and with them comes the usual purpose,
one of burden, one that is uncertain.
With them also comes a certain clarity,
one that lights up my insanity,
Which I care for like a childhood friend,
who will keep me company till the very end.
And my end I wish was near,
and that, I think, is very clear.
So everyone around me
thinks it's key
That I'm to be fed with their pity,
though I don't find that very gritty.
So to conclude this trip of misery,
I will leave them many mysteries
And that, I consider it my victory.


Sorry if it's long or for eventual mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.
All of your writing is amazing! Really strikes a chord.

Here's something I wrote:

the humidity settles on my skin
as if my flesh wasn't enough to suffocate me
i touched the soles of my feet
and went back to where they'd been
i found myself on a balcony railing
filled with a familiar temptation
a view i'd already seen,
and i raised my eyes and dived -
there ended the dream.
i was thirteen when the first drop of labourless sweat
trickled down the nape of my neck
and a tiredness flooded my being
with the slow and crushing pace of an avalanche,
untill i was buried underneath,
breathing but barely.
all i remember was that it was
heavy, heavy and heavy.
three wasn't lucky enough for me,
for i was still forced to breathe
after i teetered on the balcony edge,
again and again like a timeless pendulum,
what an irony.
buried under all that blue,
my chest still lifting painful breaths,
it's funny that my blood
should carry all this oxygen,
when i fight so hard to stop my breath -
is it oblivious to my pain, my agony?
i cut my knuckles on my teeth,
and smear my lipstick on my cheeks.
i want out, i say,
maybe one of these days,
i will finally act on it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: chlorine
chlorine

chlorine

I am free, therefore I am lost.
Apr 12, 2019
217
All of your writing is amazing! Really strikes a chord.

Here's something I wrote:

the humidity settles on my skin
as if my flesh wasn't enough to suffocate me
i touched the soles of my feet
and went back to where they'd been
i found myself on a balcony railing
filled with a familiar temptation
a view i'd already seen,
and i raised my eyes and dived -
there ended the dream.
i was thirteen when the first drop of labourless sweat
trickled down the nape of my neck
and a tiredness flooded my being
with the slow and crushing pace of an avalanche,
untill i was buried underneath,
breathing but barely.
all i remember was that it was
heavy, heavy and heavy.
three wasn't lucky enough for me,
for i was still forced to breathe
after i teetered on the balcony edge,
again and again like a timeless pendulum,
what an irony.
buried under all that blue,
my chest still lifting painful breaths,
it's funny that my blood
should carry all this oxygen,
when i fight so hard to stop my breath -
is it oblivious to my pain, my agony?
i cut my knuckles on my teeth,
and smear my lipstick on my cheeks.
i want out, i say,
maybe one of these days,
i will finally act on it.
Thanks so much. Also your poem is amazing, powerful, sorrowful, and delivers your clearly unbearable pain. I feel you, and hope one day you'll be able to smile with no remorse.