Things to arrange before CTB?

[Marty Fox]

I (31,M) understand that nothing can be done to negate the damage this will do to friends and family, but I would like to get as much in order as possible.

To Do
- close accounts (bank, credit card, spotify, phone, etc)
- arrange will (power of attorney, who gets what stuff/money)
- notes to friends/family
- try to arrange funeral, note what's wanted with, look into a cemetery plot, etc.
- passwords and access to phone and email
Others?

Other Questions
I'm in Canada, do I notify or do anything with the CRA?
Will parents have to file a tax return?

Opinion
Would you close email or perhaps set up an auto-reply? Not to be morbid, but just to simply state no longer available.
Throw away possessions or try to give away / sell?
Supposed to be in a wedding party in a few months, but unknown if I'll be around. Would you tell your friend the whole story or just hide some truth and only tell them you can no longer participate?


Thanks

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would not tell the friend, just say you can no longer participate.

 

[Werewolf]

I definitely wouldn't tell the friend, even if you have made the decision that person will be left with the feeling that they knew but couldn't do anything.
Also there is the chance you end up bolted to a bed in a hospital.

 

[faust]

The more things you do like that, the more attention you bring.
If e.g. somebody notices you give away all the stuff, close bank accounts, etc., this will be very suspicious and people may understand what is going on.
It is quite obvious many people get rid of stuff before they die, but don't let the mistakes show your intentions.
Try to minimize the list because changes may become visible no matter how you try to be latent.

 

[pete_x]

Pets are a concern.

 

[Marty Fox]

The more things you do like that, the more attention you bring.
If e.g. somebody notices you give away all the stuff, close bank accounts, etc., this will be very suspicious and people may understand what is going on.
It is quite obvious many people get rid of stuff before they die, but don't let the mistakes show your intentions.
Try to minimize the list because changes may become visible no matter how you try to be latent.

Noted and appreciated, makes sense.
In that regard, intentions aren't a concern.
Do others ever get that backwards feeling of being suicidal, however, wanting to justify it to others in some strange way, hoping it somehow makes it easier for others?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Do others ever get that backwards feeling of being suicidal, however, wanting to justify it to others in some strange way, hoping it somehow makes it easier for others?

That's very common. Unfortunately, people generally don't understand, they freak out, they try to intervene or they disconnect completely. It's rare that someone will understand, and they will likely take the information as a burden rather than feeling anything has been made easier for them. At best, they will be accepting, but it's rare.

 

[faust]

Noted and appreciated, makes sense.
In that regard, intentions aren't a concern.
Do others ever get that backwards feeling of being suicidal, however, wanting to justify it to others in some strange way, hoping it somehow makes it easier for others?

Unfortunately, justification can be even worse because most of us cannot remember our lies. Most of the time justification can even be more suspicious. If you are determined to do so, write everything down, all your plan: what you do, why, when, where you give away, how to avoid failure and memorize by heart.

 

[Werewolf]

Noted and appreciated, makes sense.
In that regard, intentions aren't a concern.
Do others ever get that backwards feeling of being suicidal, however, wanting to justify it to others in some strange way, hoping it somehow makes it easier for others?

I don't ever think you can explain or rationalize you're willing to die to people that love or care for you. They'd always find a way to justify the pain caused by your death precedes whatever reason you have to take the bus.
At least that's my personal experience.

If suffering from severe physical illness then it would be a different story I suppose

 

[Nem]

I'm in Canada as well and I'm certain that your family will have to file an income tax on your behalf
Peace/hugs

 

[Marty Fox]

I don't ever think you can explain or rationalize you're willing to die to people that love or care for you. They'd always find a way to justify the pain caused by your death precedes whatever reason you have to take the bus.
At least that's my personal experience.

If suffering from severe physical illness then it would be a different story I suppose

Why do you think people (general question for all, not just Werewolf) believe severe physical illness is different? Because it's "measurable"? Because the person may die soon anyways? Or maybe it's something people are used to seeing, and therefore can mentally process more easily.

 

[Werewolf]

Why do you think people (general question for all, not just Werewolf) believe severe physical illness is different? Because it's "measurable"? Because the person may die soon anyways? Or maybe it's something people are used to seeing, and therefore can mentally process more easily.

Probably something along those lines, I think people generally view psychiatric disorders as less severe in terms of how they affect people. Probably also because mental illness is subjective in terms of the experience of symptoms whereas a broken leg hurts like hell no matter what.

Then of course you don't have to suffer mental disorder just because you want to stop living
Though the mere will to not live doesn't justify the dying some reason.

 

[suicideintended]

Im new here. My name is Alicia, 32 Anyway, I too, was curious as to what to put in order, what not to. I figured the basics for my situation..I have two children... I also figured on the obvious stuff, since I have no adult family except my mother, ( I do not want to burden her with more than necessary..) Id leave out in a binder important documents and writen instructions for how to properly care for my daughters. (I am a single mom but they have safe, appropriate places to go when I ctb.) After that, Im at a loss..Whats to much...Whats not enough. I can atleast make this easier for my mom and my daughters by having the best plain laid out. I dont know.

Also, I wouldn't tell the friend. They will more than likely see the confession as a burden versus your honest reasoning for not being available. It would be nice to have someone to tell though....to have someone help you logically and apropriately plan, for me anyway, it would be nice. However, noone will understand in my life. Definite intervention. And I dont want anyone to have that..Idk, guilt? I guess, for the rest of their lives if they knew and did nothing so.. Anyway wow.., Ive never been able to talk to freely like that. With no judgement. I appreciate this site. Sorry again for my ramble.