ghostbird
Member
- Aug 16, 2023
- 26
hey. it's been a while. a lot has happened. nothing has happened. i overdosed. i died. i was 'saved'. i woke up. i'm myself, but not really. something changed. something died. i moved back in with my parents. i dropped out of uni. i existed for a while. i learnt some things. like my dad has huntington's disease. like i probably have it too. i hope i do. i hope i do. if the world could just make sense this one time, in this one way, i would rescind my pessimism. give it to me instead of him. give it to me instead of anyone else, anyone else who have lives to live and people to live for and things to do. i've always felt so homesick for wherever i was before i was born. this would be cosmic justice, for me to return there. this is how things were always supposed to be. but i have this feeling. this pit in my stomach. this assurance the world promised me long ago, that nothing happens like i want it to. so, this too, will not come to pass. i'll be fine. i'll be healthy. i'll be exonerated. but the conviction was monstrous. capital was the sentence. just give me that. god, please, give me that.
