Things don't go away

[guinea-pig]

That's a thought that I struggle with a lot when I think about getting better some days. Because even if I get better the shame, depression, anxiety, etc. will all be there it will just be less. I don't want to be going through actual hell suffering though negative feelings every day then putting in work to fix it only to find out that in it is still there some days. I don't want ANY suffering after going through it this long honestly and it makes a lot of sense I think.

That's also what has me knowing suicide is the best decision for me and it is what I want because any suffering is going to make life unbearable for me. I deserve peace and I won't get it here.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me there could never be such a thing as peace in this existence where we are trapped with ourselves and where is endless potential to suffer, I could never see anything desirable about something as dreadful as existence, it's tiresome so it's really understandable just wanting peace from everything, I wish you the best.