
cookiencream
Phantom tripple crown
- Jul 26, 2025
- 177
My parents aren't the worst or abusive but they did treat me cruel sometimes. Like one time I made a joke towards my dad and he beat me with a hanger so bad I couldn't go to school that day...it's not a regular occurrence. So I wouldn't say he's abusive but he does suck sometimes. There was another time I broke down in the car crying because he blew up on me for saying he made me late to a place. He went on a rant to sort of cheer me up. But he said that if I killed myself him and my mom would feel bad for a while then get over it. On my mom's end she used to say there was nothing good she could say about me and would ostracize me any time I told her I thought there was something wrong with me. Now they treat me kinder because I want to die. Now they treat me like a human being. I feel like I should be happy and grateful things changed but I just feel angry. I don't even want to accept this love. Why did I have to suffer so much just to be treated with respect??? What makes it worse is that I know this is temporary. They've already started slipping back into their old habbits. Honestly every time they tell me how much I'm affecting them I don't feel bad. My mom said she's always scared of opening doors at home in case she sees me hanging there. My dad searches the house like crazy when he can't find me. I want to feel bad but I just don't. I told them something was wrong god knows how many times but they wouldn't listen. They said my problems were a trade off for my "gift of intelligence" from god. Even now I told my mom I don't believe she swears up and down I will. I feel like I should love them and appreciate them but I just can't anymore.