CFLoser
I fcking hate myself
- Dec 5, 2018
- 611
I've never gotten anything out of placing myself in a different physical environment. Different cities/countries/buildings, I just don't benefit in any way. Maybe that makes me less cool and sophisticated than others but idc.
I know what you mean. Nothing can fix anything for me. But these kind of things just add to it……Indifferent. Being well-traveled will not fix my issues.
This is what I realized during my Worst Depressive Episode (TM) 5 years ago now. I realized there was no escaping this. It has taken me all 5 years to arrive at any sort of peace over it. I don't know whether it would have been better for me to have just killed myself instead of stubbornly holding on. As long as I don't think about it and focus on what feels good right now, my decision (generous term) feels like the right one.No effect whatsoever. See, I have this luggage that follows me around. I spend up every trip handling that shit. I come home and I don't even feel I've been anywhere.
Me sightseeing:This is what I realized during my Worst Depressive Episode (TM) 5 years ago now. I realized there was no escaping this. It has taken me all 5 years to arrive at any sort of peace over it. I don't know whether it would have been better for me to have just killed myself instead of stubbornly holding on. As long as I don't think about it and focus on what feels good right now, my decisions (generous term) feels like the right one.
I remember those days of anhedonia. I'm sorry. If I knew how it eventually left me alone for a while, I would tell you.Me sightseeing:
View attachment 72528
I'm glad you can cope. I'm not sure I can. I mean, I am, but I wouldn't call that coping.
I'm too mentally exausted to notice anything. I would be happy just to see a pretty sunset from my window and not feel indifferent about it. Just to notice. Make a memory out of it. That would be a trip.
There are more content versions of yourself you will only ever be able to get a tiny glimpse of. How does THAT make you feel?There are places you will never be. How does that feel?
tear out that contentThere are more content versions of yourself you will only ever be able to get a tiny glimpse of. How does THAT make you feel?
Fuck, I feel the same, it is devastating and probably the end.No effect whatsoever. See, I have this luggage that follows me around. I spend up every trip handling that shit. I come home and I don't even feel I've been anywhere.
I have seen what I wasNo effect whatsoever. See, I have this luggage that follows me around. I spend up every trip handling that shit. I come home and I don't even feel I've been anywhere.
Among all the versions of myself, I am the strongest. That i know for sure.There are more content versions of yourself you will only ever be able to get a tiny glimpse of. How does THAT make you feel?