Venting Therapy solutions sound like torture to me

[hoppybunny]

So ive been trying to get better and im.working on recovery but genuinely i feel like im going insane hearing some of the solutions im being offered. So i complained that my entire life has just been me setling for the next best thing, because i never get anything i want and even my ideal life is unachievable because of my skin colour and where i was born and im tired of it. And i want to opt out of life. I also talked about how i was upset about how much effort and money it takes to be alive and how i want to sleep forever because being alive and uncertainty of the future makes me miserable.

And my therapist was like, well have you tried thinking about something you can settle for that will convince you to stay alive? Like settling is the reason im tired of living why would you use the exact word i was talking about?!?@?@

She really was like i get being alive makes you upset and you dont want to spend the rest of your life paying to be alive but that's just how life is, all you can do is distract yourself and force yourself to find joy in this shithole.

Im just complaining to the void at this point because i know im too much of a pussy to kill myself but i genuinely cannot imagine life after i graduate college. So i shall keep going to therapy. Maybe one of my therapists will convince me to put up with the absurdities of this life before i graduate. If not i may have the confidence to kill myself. Im just happy i live in a state where u don't need a lisence for a gun.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your suffering and such. To answer the question about continuing to see therapy, personally I would advise against it if you already made up your mind simply because of two reasons:
1) It may not necessarily help your situation or make you feel better, would be a waste of your time.
2) Saying the wrong thing and if your therapist believes you are a 'threat' or 'danger to oneself or others', then she would be obligated to take action, which could entail getting a temporary psych hold, or even being locked up against your will which is not good nor conducive to you (this could also affect your ability to pass a BG check if you are looking to purchase a firearm from an FFL or so).

This is coming from someone who has tried therapy when he was in university and regretted it. Fortunately, when I went, I never went too far, but again it is a risk that I took and in hindsight, I would never have gone (unless I was ordered to go as a condition or contingent on something - which then I would say less and only go through the motions and then get out of therapy ASAP).

Anyways, I hope you are able to find some relief from suffering in life.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Talking to therapists can be so frustrating. They are just people and most people have to tell themselves things to cope with this meaningless life full of suffering. Like that we just have to deal with slaving our lives away just to survive. Because "that's how life works." Last week my therapist told me if I can't deal with my intense anxiety and panic attacks, I have to just tell myself I can deal with it because we create our own reality. Crazy. I gave up on talking to any therapists about my view on life/death because they'll never understand.

Anyway, I'm sorry you're suffering so much. If you continue your path of recovery I hope you can find a therapist who can help you cope with this life in a way that aligns with your views better. Wishing you the best.

 

[hoppybunny]

I'm sorry to hear about your suffering and such. To answer the question about continuing to see therapy, personally I would advise against it if you already made up your mind simply because of two reasons:
1) It may not necessarily help your situation or make you feel better, would be a waste of your time.
2) Saying the wrong thing and if your therapist believes you are a 'threat' or 'danger to oneself or others', then she would be obligated to take action, which could entail getting a temporary psych hold, or even being locked up against your will which is not good nor conducive to you (this could also affect your ability to pass a BG check if you are looking to purchase a firearm from an FFL or so).

This is coming from someone who has tried therapy when he was in university and regretted it. Fortunately, when I went, I never went too far, but again it is a risk that I took and in hindsight, I would never have gone (unless I was ordered to go as a condition or contingent on something - which then I would say less and only go through the motions and then get out of therapy ASAP).

Anyways, I hope you are able to find some relief from suffering in life.

Thank you for your concern. Therapy definitely feels like a waste of time right now but im gonna keep searching cause a big part of me wants to to try. Its just that an even super bigger part of me wants to blow my head open with a shotgun.

So I'm hoping maybe there's a therapist out there that believes i can have what i want in life. Maybe one of them will teach me how to not pay property taxes lol.

Last week my therapist told me if I can't deal with my intense anxiety and panic attacks, I have to just tell myself I can deal with it because we create our own reality.

That's actually such an insane thing to say. This is giving telling a blind person to just start seeing.


Thanknyou for your kind words. I hope i can find someone too. It will be hard. I really don't want to get grippy socked for seeking help

I'm sorry to hear about your suffering and such. To answer the question about continuing to see therapy, personally I would advise against it if you already made up your mind simply because of two reasons:
1) It may not necessarily help your situation or make you feel better, would be a waste of your time.
2) Saying the wrong thing and if your therapist believes you are a 'threat' or 'danger to oneself or others', then she would be obligated to take action, which could entail getting a temporary psych hold, or even being locked up against your will which is not good nor conducive to you (this could also affect your ability to pass a BG check if you are looking to purchase a firearm from an FFL or so).

This is coming from someone who has tried therapy when he was in university and regretted it. Fortunately, when I went, I never went too far, but again it is a risk that I took and in hindsight, I would never have gone (unless I was ordered to go as a condition or contingent on something - which then I would say less and only go through the motions and then get out of therapy ASAP).

Anyways, I hope you are able to find some relief from suffering in life.

Coming back to this. Just saw the cost of involuntary commitment. I'll probably just stop going cause the therapists at my school focus too much on safety plans and all that bullshit. I feel like they'd put me in one. I'll go once more and if i get the vibes she only xares about preventing suicide and not with helping me want to live then I'll stop

 

[PlannedforPeru]

2) Saying the wrong thing and if your therapist believes you are a 'threat' or 'danger to oneself or others', then she would be obligated to take action, which could entail getting a temporary psych hold, or even being locked up against your will which is not good nor conducive to you (this could also affect your ability to pass a BG check if you are looking to purchase a firearm from an FFL or so).

@hoppybunny I don't know how it is with every therapist but mine (when I had one) explicitly described taking action could only be justified if you described at least the method of which and a time; otherwise, they potentially jeopardize their certifications. It gets a little hazy because "I'm gonna go contemplate on a bridge after this" adjacent statements could be grounds for taking that action. My interactions with psychiatrists only further my belief in that being where the boundary lie.

I don't say this as a recommendation to avoid unwanted repercussions, but to know where the line is to allow for more authentic dialogue with your current therapist if that's a path you'd be interested in taking.

Like I said, I don't know how it is with every therapist (counselor, school, etc...) so it may as well be hearsay but I've openly stated pretty much every session dying seems way better than their proposed solutions. I ended up here, never institutionalized, so I believe that is an option you can take if you do it gracefully.

I really do hope the best for you man, you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders.

 

[hoppybunny]

@hoppybunny I don't know how it is with every therapist but mine (when I had one) explicitly described taking action could only be justified if you described at least the method of which and a time; otherwise, they potentially jeopardize their certifications. It gets a little hazy because "I'm gonna go contemplate on a bridge after this" adjacent statements could be grounds for taking that action. My interactions with psychiatrists only further my belief in that being where the boundary lie.

I don't say this as a recommendation to avoid unwanted repercussions, but to know where the line is to allow for more authentic dialogue with your current therapist if that's a path you'd be interested in taking.

Like I said, I don't know how it is with every therapist (counselor, school, etc...) so it may as well be hearsay but I've openly stated pretty much every session dying seems way better than their proposed solutions. I ended up here, never institutionalized, so I believe that is an option you can take if you do it gracefully.

I really do hope the best for you man, you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders.

Thank you very much. I'll make sure to ask where that boundary lies before i start yapping.

 

[RoseGarden]

@hoppybunny I don't know how it is with every therapist but mine (when I had one) explicitly described taking action could only be justified if you described at least the method of which and a time; otherwise, they potentially jeopardize their certifications. It gets a little hazy because "I'm gonna go contemplate on a bridge after this" adjacent statements could be grounds for taking that action. My interactions with psychiatrists only further my belief in that being where the boundary lie.

I don't say this as a recommendation to avoid unwanted repercussions, but to know where the line is to allow for more authentic dialogue with your current therapist if that's a path you'd be interested in taking.

Like I said, I don't know how it is with every therapist (counselor, school, etc...) so it may as well be hearsay but I've openly stated pretty much every session dying seems way better than their proposed solutions. I ended up here, never institutionalized, so I believe that is an option you can take if you do it gracefully.

I really do hope the best for you man, you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders.

Not a therapist but I work in a similar role and that boundary depends on your local jurisdiction. Most commonly in the US you need three things: immediate access to means, a plan, and a willingness to carry out that plan. You'll have to look up specifics for your state/province/country but those are good guidelines. "I'm going to go contemplate on a bridge after this" could still be enough for a therapist to have to inform EMS. Unless you have an exceptionally shitty therapist just saying you want to die shouldn't be enough to get EMS called on you, but they may refer you to more intensive care. e.g. a therapist referring you to a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist recommending you go to the emergency room.

 

[hoppybunny]

Not a therapist but I work in a similar role and that boundary depends on your local jurisdiction. Most commonly in the US you need three things: immediate access to means, a plan, and a willingness to carry out that plan. You'll have to look up specifics for your state/province/country but those are good guidelines. "I'm going to go contemplate on a bridge after this" could still be enough for a therapist to have to inform EMS. Unless you have an exceptionally shitty therapist just saying you want to die shouldn't be enough to get EMS called on you, but they may refer you to more intensive care. e.g. a therapist referring you to a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist recommending you go to the emergency room.

Thank you then. I'll just keep the date to myself then. Cause I told my last one I wanted to CTB next August but I'm realizing I got lucky since she didn't tell on me.

 

[depthss]

if you dont like your therapist/ dont think she listens to you, you should get a new therapist if you can, i had countless psychologists across my time here, since i was 9. i hated every single one of them, they didnt listen. it felt like a chore, i didnt want to put in any work towards it, etc. but i recently started seeing a new guy, and hes the first good one ive ever had. my desire to ctb hasnt gone away, i dont think anyone could ever do that much for me, but we actually have a connection, so his sessions do help me. ive been able to talk to strangers and go in public alone for pretty much the first time in my life. if your therapist doesnt listen, thats a problem with her, not you. it took me a decade to fine someone helpful, you should keep looking for someone that can actually help you. most therapists are dogshit, but i find the good ones, as few in number as they are, make an impact that cant be described

 

[RoseGarden]

Thank you then. I'll just keep the date to myself then. Cause I told my last one I wanted to CTB next August but I'm realizing I got lucky since she didn't tell on me.

I'd recommend with your next therapist setting boundaries early so you know exactly what you can get away with.

 

[hoppybunny]

if you dont like your therapist/ dont think she listens to you, you should get a new therapist if you can, i had countless psychologists across my time here, since i was 9. i hated every single one of them, they didnt listen. it felt like a chore, i didnt want to put in any work towards it, etc. but i recently started seeing a new guy, and hes the first good one ive ever had. my desire to ctb hasnt gone away, i dont think anyone could ever do that much for me, but we actually have a connection, so his sessions do help me. ive been able to talk to strangers and go in public alone for pretty much the first time in my life. if your therapist doesnt listen, thats a problem with her, not you. it took me a decade to fine someone helpful, you should keep looking for someone that can actually help you. most therapists are dogshit, but i find the good ones, as few in number as they are, make an impact that cant be described

I'm glad you're seeing results. I'm hoping it keeps going well for you. I did have one therapist that I really liked and actually saw results with but I couldn't see her anymore cause I had to switch schools. So grateful for her. I was actually going to CTB this May especially after my Grandma passed away but I didn't thanks to her.

I hope I can find someone as good as her again.

I'd recommend with your next therapist setting boundaries early so you know exactly what you can get away with.

I will thank you. Besides asking what's commitment worthy is there anything else I should ask about ?