Discussion The worse life gets, the more desperate you get to survive?

[donttalktome]

Why am I like this? People who experience impossible difficulties quickly pivot to CTB attempts. I have never once in my life attempted CTB even though im almost a hobo drug addict in chronic pain dying from undiagnosed 20 diseases in infinite debt with prison hanging over my head and no room of my own or any help from family. I have a hundred times more than enough reasons to die and I beg myself to end it everyday, yet I do nothing, i just get more desperate for a miracle that will never come. There is no hope and never was. My brain is broken.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

My brain is broken too. I think the worse things get, survival instinct has to get stronger to protect you.

 

[rllysuper]

I think the worse things get, survival instinct has to get stronger to protect you.

^^ this
i've always wondered why people struggling with fundamental needs (like food, water, shelter) are almost never suicidal despite being in extreme circumstances. i think because of this, their survival instincts take over, and they adopt a mindset where simply living is a win.
so as your circumstances worsen, you're less inclined to CTB.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

^^ this
i've always wondered why people struggling with fundamental needs (like food, water, shelter) are almost never suicidal despite being in extreme circumstances. i think because of this, their survival instincts take over, and they adopt a mindset where simply living is a win.
so as your circumstances worsen, you're less inclined to CTB.

I was watching a history documentary about the US around 100 years ago and mostly everyone (except the very wealthy) struggled with food, water and shelter. Children died from diseases we now have vaccines for. Mothers died during childbirth. People died from simple infections as antibiotics were not yet discovered. Homes were filthy, showers did not exist and food was often rancid. Regular people worked menial back breaking, long hour jobs for little pay. There were no labor laws. I could go on and on but It seems beyond misery to me to have lived in those days, still yet they persevered and America prospered. Now that takes some serious SI.

 

[commongardensnailll]

and it's so frustrating

 

[fkyou]

Same.i think everything is 10times easier when we are emotionally stable, including ctb,few weeks ago I was very okay with dying, today I'm paranoid and scared,and keep saying what if , it's like when we were happy and stable we were happy,and when we aren't happy we look forward to being happy and normal again. Happiness seems so beautiful when you are miserable.but what's the point of thinking like this while you are on the verge of suicide.this mental state is the worst,I hate this version of me.