The way I see ctb

[Gromit-CTB]

Did say I wasn't going to post anymore so sorry for this.

I have not been on here long as member I know but did lurk for a year before.

Ok been here and seen a few ctb's, and a couple I knew well. Everytime I was part of a goodbye thread I did get jealous (stick with me I know that's wrong) of the person achieving ctb. Was sad and happy this happened but knew it was what life had driven them to. Now to me it was like football, these brave souls had won the league and lifted the trophy. I was still mid table at best. I am hoping over the next few days to get my star striker off the bench and move up the table to win my own title and trophy. I know ctb is serious but I have to look at it that way. I am so hoping I win the title this weekend, mostly so you don't have to put up with my posts anymore but in all seriousness so I get the peace I need. Met some wonderful people here and will miss our daily chats. Hope you all get to win the league but not before me

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Gromit you post as much as you want sweetie! I feel a tad jealous of those that ctb and I'm still here too. Like why can't I get it together. I'm over this life and I want it done. I don't know what I'm waiting for at this point to be honest. I hope you will eventually find your peace

 

[WornOutLife]

I hope we both "win the league".
2021 MUST be my death year.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

December 2020 is my win

 

[elfgyoza]

You never have to apologise for posting! I often worry I come off as annoying or needy if I post too much too, but I'm trying to overcome that a bit :/
I think it's normal for any suicidal person to feel a little bit jealous of others leaving, though I'd rather they didn't feel that way at all of course..
Here's hoping we win December 2020 I guess
Edit: had a nice trophy emoji at the end there but it doesn't show up :(

 

[justsad&done]

Sounds to me like baseball...get your star hitter off that bench and hit a homerun.
Keep posting.
Find your peace.
And know you were cared for and will be missed.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Will post a couple more times before I win the league I'm sure. But to steal the American term it's bottom of the 9th and I have 2 out already

 

[justsad&done]

Gotcha...I feel like I've already gone into extra innings.
---Don't know whether to say I want you to get that final out, but I want you to have comfort, peace and eternal relief.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Trust me swinging like crazy to get that out. I think this time I may have the correct recipe as never felt like I have today. In the nicest possible way I don't want to ever have to come back here after next attempt

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Will post a couple more times before I win the league I'm sure. But to steal the American term it's bottom of the 9th and I have 2 out already

This is a great comparison on how it is.

 

[justsad&done]

So...I am sorry your life has gotten to this point...but I totally understand and can empathize. As much as I have a hard time saying that I hope you get your final "out" of the game - I know that at this point the game is not fun...and you need your ultimate win = peace.

 

[Pookie]

This is a forum where people support each other and there's no limit on how many times you can post as far as I know. I've seen some people post way more than you do so don't feel bad about it. Post away until your time comes.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I know things have been so hard for you Gromit. Never worry about sharing your feelings with us, being honest and true to yourself, having the freedom of expression and thought is one of the great things about this community.