ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
if you have fix date ... the closer you get to the dat the stronger your survival instics kicks in. at least for me


its like in lotr ... you closer you get to mordor the more power the ring gets


i once read that most suicide happens spontaneously and impulsive...which makes sense in my opinion

you need a certain irrational state of mind - the perfect mix of anger, despair, hopelessness and rage, a state which you cant create intentionally

atm im preparing my method so next time i enter this stage and i can act fast and spontaneously
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Grayfield, crova, MajorDude and 39 others
Revok

Revok

Member
Oct 6, 2018
69
I wouldn't call the state of mind irrational, at least not for me. For me it is a state of calm acceptance and clarity.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, rabid_squirrel and 13 others
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
I completely agree. The time I have been close to ctb were all spontaneous in a sense, although I had been planning it for a long time but I think the majority needs to be in the "right" mindset and that doesn´t come on command.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 6 others
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
I wouldn't call the state of mind irrational, at least not for me. For me it is a state of calm acceptance and clarity.


i admire you. however majority of people arent calm like japanese samurai when they commit suicide. they are agitated, angry, sad, desperate etc..their body full of adrenalin and cortisol
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Kitsunefox, Deafsn0w and 8 others
Revok

Revok

Member
Oct 6, 2018
69
I'll sure be tense and also sad. It's just that the time where I feel ready are the times where I am the most distant from the everyday world of the living and most centered.

At times of emotional turmoil, I am also filled with many doubts, many of which are not very rational. I'd have a harder time making such a decision then.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 2 others
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
I have things ready to go so the moment I get the inspiration & courage I can get out of here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
DeathBecomesMe

DeathBecomesMe

Student
Sep 9, 2018
143
I wouldn't call the state of mind irrational, at least not for me. For me it is a state of calm acceptance and clarity.
I agree. Maybe most of the time suicides are impulsive and fueled by cortisol, but there is the other school of thought, or circumstance, where one has had a good time to think things over and come to an acceptance, and realise that suicide is the rational thing to do.

People come in all shapes and sizes, everyone is different but both experiences are true. The adrenaline driven suicide is maybe slightly more common, amongst the youth and those under 50.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 7 others
M

MachineGunDani

Specialist
Sep 10, 2018
336
I agree with this! I'm more likely to bite the bullet in an increased emotional state if everything is ready to go.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 3 others
T

Throwaway563078

Experienced
Oct 6, 2018
272
I agree. I hope to prepare and a have a method at least when I'm rational and then when I'm pretty emotional/spontaneous etc that'll be the push and I'll have something to use
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 2 others
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
I agree. Maybe most of the time suicides are impulsive and fueled by cortisol, but there is the other school of thought, or circumstance, where one has had a good time to think things over and come to an acceptance, and realise that suicide is the rational thing to do.

People come in all shapes and sizes, everyone is different but both experiences are true. The adrenaline driven suicide is maybe slightly more common, amongst the youth and those under 50.
I think many of us on this site are in that place where we've thought about it rationally and accepted that this must be done and are here looking for a decent means to get out. I believe this is why anti depressants increase the risk of suicide: once a person has reached this point suicide becomes an inevitability and just a matter of getting the motivation. It will still be an anxious moment but we are definitely ready.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Shaw, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and 4 others
L

Limbo

Experienced
Oct 8, 2018
281
Your last moments are all you will ever know. Why not at least try and make it a calm collected decision? Of course you need some sort of hypnotic for this (benzos or sleeping pills)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and lv-gras
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
if you have fix date ... the closer you get to the dat the stronger your survival instics kicks in. at least for me


its like in lotr ... you closer you get to mordor the more power the ring gets


i once read that most suicide happens spontaneously and impulsive...which makes sense in my opinion

you need a certain irrational state of mind - the perfect mix of anger, despair, hopelessness and rage, a state which you cant create intentionally

atm im preparing my method so next time i enter this stage and i can act fast and spontaneously
Right lol! You have to catch that moment when u feel like that otherwise you will never do it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 3 others
Deutschv2

Deutschv2

Student
Sep 23, 2018
177
Yeah, for me putting myself in a car of gas is easier than mixing 2 acids to make the gas, because this I think. Makes it easier to bypass survival instinct if you just be spontaneous in 1 instant.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
Completely agree. People often refer to suicides as impulsive. I don't think they're truly impulsive as people have often been thinking of suicide for a long time, but you need something that destroys the survival instinct which makes it appear impulsive.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Shaw, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, cupio dissolvi and 10 others
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
Completely agree. People often refer to suicides as impulsive. I don't think they're truly impulsive as people have often been thinking of suicide for a long time, but you need something that destroys the survival instinct which makes it appear impulsive.

Sadly, that's how a lot of non-suicidal and anti-suicide people think (they view suicide as almost always impulsive instead of something that is an well-thought out plan.). It is sad that they don't view suicide in a logical, rational way and always see it as a problem. Anyways, I do think that even if there is a trigger that causes someone to finally go through with their attempt, it is definitely NOT impulsive as they have meticulously planned out their death.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Shaw, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and 4 others
Jblack

Jblack

Specialist
Oct 8, 2018
314
I really don't believe that everyone whose decides to exit acts irrationally. Yes, there are some who exit on a spur of the moment without any thought of what they are doing. But others, I include myself in that group, are acting in a very rational manner. When you are suffering from physical pain or mental anguish, exiting is something you have thought about for a while. I have suffered with depression for a lot of years and then recently came up with a diagnosis of cancer. I am not acting in an irrational manner to exit. I feel that I have given a lot of thought to exiting. Choosing not to continuing to suffer is a choice I have made, I am tired of doctors, pills and the false hopes.I don't want my end to be in a hospital filled with medications, unable to move and no longer able to decide for my self. I want to set the terms, have control and do it some kind of dignity. I think that my planning is very rational, well thought and works the best for me.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Shaw, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and 3 others
G

GeorgeEastman

Arcanist
Sep 3, 2018
470
I agree with the premise of this thread. There will be a day when I hunger to die as much as I do for food now. That's when it'll happen. Bullet will be eaten.

I'm just disappointed in all this buildup. This is worse than 20 Super Bowl pregame shows. I know how the damn thing's gonna go. All this useless waiting. I guess stupidity is the basis of life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and Lifeisatrap
U

undertherainbow

Member
Sep 21, 2018
80
I agree. I have PTSD and I always attempt after or during an episode. When I'm not bugging out, I really want to wait so I can organize my crap before ctb.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
I agree. I have PTSD and I always attempt after or during an episode. When I'm not bugging out, I really want to wait so I can organize my crap before ctb.

yes
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
I definitely have things prepared. Just have to wait a little bit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 2 others
S

swanfil

Member
Sep 13, 2018
15
Suicide is often spontaneous but rarely is it out of the blue so to speak. Usually there has been a lot of thought involved in it and something that truly plays on ones mind to the point they may follow through on the act.

You could argue that it's not always rational or logical thinking, sadly sometimes people lose sight of reality and think it's the only way out to stop the current pain, for example people with Borderline Personality Disorder or such mental conditions don't always see a situation clearly or react accordingly. This was tragically the case with my girlfriend who took her life on the morning I was going to be temporarily away for a job because she had convinced herself no one cared n she'd be better off gone, not giving me a chance to stop her like all the times before or reminding her how wrong her current thinking was and that she was loved. That being said I do agree there are people who have endure such relentless agony and torment that it's not a case of if but when...

As I imagine is the case for many here, for me there are several things I'd like to sort out before making the final choice. I don't know if my time will be filled with emotion and devastation because of how things turned out or perhaps I will be in a state of calm acceptance that this has become my choice, who knows till the time really comes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Maravillosa and 1 other person
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
if you have fix date ... the closer you get to the dat the stronger your survival instics kicks in. at least for me


its like in lotr ... you closer you get to mordor the more power the ring gets


i once read that most suicide happens spontaneously and impulsive...which makes sense in my opinion

you need a certain irrational state of mind - the perfect mix of anger, despair, hopelessness and rage, a state which you cant create intentionally

atm im preparing my method so next time i enter this stage and i can act fast and spontaneously
I do agree but have had several attempts which were both planned or impulsive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Suicide is often spontaneous but rarely is it out of the blue so to speak. Usually there has been a lot of thought involved in it and something that truly plays on ones mind to the point they may follow through on the act.

You could argue that it's not always rational or logical thinking, sadly sometimes people lose sight of reality and think it's the only way out to stop the current pain, for example people with Borderline Personality Disorder or such mental conditions don't always see a situation clearly or react accordingly. This was tragically the case with my girlfriend who took her life on the morning I was going to be temporarily away for a job because she had convinced herself no one cared n she'd be better off gone, not giving me a chance to stop her like all the times before or reminding her how wrong her current thinking was and that she was loved. That being said I do agree there are people who have endure such relentless agony and torment that it's not a case of if but when...

As I imagine is the case for many here, for me there are several things I'd like to sort out before making the final choice. I don't know if my time will be filled with emotion and devastation because of how things turned out or perhaps I will be in a state of calm acceptance that this has become my choice, who knows till the time really comes.
Hi
Welcome to the forum.
I am so sorry for your loss x
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, lv-gras and 2 others
M

Miro

Member
Oct 17, 2018
48
I'm not setting a date. When I'm ready, it'll simply be time for me to leave... the sooner, the better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person
F

fade_away

Member
Aug 1, 2018
20
I think this is so true. I have this idea of enjoying my last few days before going off into the woods, but the more I think about it the more I think it will be impulsive because I think it will probably take something to push me over the edge to the point where I have the courage to do it. I've actually just recently gotten a bag together with my rope and a few other things so that I can just grab it and go off if/when I feel the urge. I think it's best not to force it, but to do it when you truly feel ready.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and Lifeisatrap
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Idk, I'm at the point where I would do it right now if I could. I'm in panic everyday and I cant even work or live a normal life anymore. My anxiety is through the roof and my heart races. I'm just so afraid I will mess it up. I plan to hang, so I'm getting all the info I can to get it right
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 3 others
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
ok fuck that shit

i have date now in a few weeks

hotel already booked

i feel quite happy
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 3 others
Livinginhell

Livinginhell

Should be Existinginhell
Aug 13, 2018
93
I'm getting everything ready so when the time comes I can just get on and do it, nothing to think about just, do it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and Lifeisatrap
M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
835
if you have fix date ... the closer you get to the dat the stronger your survival instics kicks in. at least for me


its like in lotr ... you closer you get to mordor the more power the ring gets


i once read that most suicide happens spontaneously and impulsive...which makes sense in my opinion

you need a certain irrational state of mind - the perfect mix of anger, despair, hopelessness and rage, a state which you cant create intentionally

atm im preparing my method so next time i enter this stage and i can act fast and spontaneously

The truth is in order to CTB you either need to be extremely stressed or willing you go far outside your comfort zone. You can always force yourself to CTB it just takes tons of Will power
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w and Lifeisatrap
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
I'm beginning to realize that all my little preparatory rituals only serve to psych myself out and get me more stressed. So yes, I think the trick is to get everything prepared so that spontenaity can be your ally.

Now I just need to get back to a place where the spontenaity can sweep me away.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, Lifeisatrap and 1 other person

Similar threads

GuessWhosBack
Replies
7
Views
1K
Recovery
butterflyguy
butterflyguy
derpyderpins
Replies
68
Views
3K
Recovery
DarkRange55
DarkRange55
goodoldnoname923
Replies
45
Views
3K
Suicide Discussion
Eternal Eyes
Eternal Eyes