Venting The sun is shining and I am going to die soon

[eternallyluna]

The sun is shining and I am going to die soon.

It's oppressive really, the way the sunshine rays tickle my skin. It makes me shiver and feel sick. It's a reminder of the tantalizing warmth the universe gives to some, those who wake up each day happy and excited.

That warmth has never extended to me. I am left in the cold and shadows. I used to cry and beg the universe for that warmth, that love. More than anything I wanted to bask in the sunshine and let the rays warm me and take my pain away. But for some reason I was never extended that grace.

The sun is shining and I am going to die soon.

 

[Crow_88]

Well written. Thank you.

 

[gothbird]

I've felt that kind of sunlight before.
Mocking. Too bright. Too alive. It's happening in a world you were never truly invited into.
It's strange how something so simple can feel like a betrayal.
I don't think you're broken for not being warmed by it. Some of us just don't hold heat the same way. And I'm sorry the universe didn't meet you where you needed it to.
You don't have to make peace with the sun.
You don't have to feel grateful for the light.
Just know I see you in the shadows.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[glossble]

I had to go outside yesterday and the sun was shining brightly but I didn't feel the warmth either. I know what it's like to cry and scream into the emptiness hoping someone will save you. This world is a cold, lonely place. I hope you find the warmth you deserve, no matter what your final decision will be. I will still hope that the bright rays of the sun will warm you and that love will be waiting for you everywhere. I truly wish that for every and each of us on this forum. And if not this sun then fuck it there are around 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe and an estimated 100 to 400 billion stars per galaxy. That means there could be as many as 40 trillion suns
Maybe this sun just wasn't for us...