Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,203
A part of me feels like a failure
But then again, when do I need feel like a failure?
I think a part of me knows deep down, intrinsically, that I am enmeshed with my father
No we're not "close". We appear to be but it isn't that simple
My father is toxic. Or I guess rather he has his toxic traits
Times where's he's hurt me and treated me terribly. Maybe not on par with what my mom did but still bad nonetheless
He's also responsible for how my brother turned out
He severely neglected him and treated him like dog shit after my mom died
Even making it clear on his regrets on being a father
So, why is it so hard to leave?
I still haven't bought my clothes to live on campus yet. I need to get around to it this week. I'm delaying the inevitable
Anyways, I'm the stupid little golden child
I use my dads money, stay on his good graces, and reap the benefits of being his enmeshed "favorite"
Hell, I even wonder if he even truly loves me? His "favorite"
He probably doesn't, even though he claims to
Maybe one day I can break this bond and be free
But for now, I just reap the benefits of the golden child
Maybe my brother will be the first to break free
I'm such a failure
But then again, when do I need feel like a failure?
I think a part of me knows deep down, intrinsically, that I am enmeshed with my father
No we're not "close". We appear to be but it isn't that simple
My father is toxic. Or I guess rather he has his toxic traits
Times where's he's hurt me and treated me terribly. Maybe not on par with what my mom did but still bad nonetheless
He's also responsible for how my brother turned out
He severely neglected him and treated him like dog shit after my mom died
Even making it clear on his regrets on being a father
So, why is it so hard to leave?
I still haven't bought my clothes to live on campus yet. I need to get around to it this week. I'm delaying the inevitable
Anyways, I'm the stupid little golden child
I use my dads money, stay on his good graces, and reap the benefits of being his enmeshed "favorite"
Hell, I even wonder if he even truly loves me? His "favorite"
He probably doesn't, even though he claims to
Maybe one day I can break this bond and be free
But for now, I just reap the benefits of the golden child
Maybe my brother will be the first to break free
I'm such a failure
