Story The story of my life

[Âmemalheureuse]

I'm a 25 years old guy. I was born in a religious conservative family. My parents love me and they think they want the best for me. As a child I was energetic and happy though my dad was a tyrant and my mom overprotective. In school and in the neighborhood, I was often bullied and has only few friends. I'm ugly and short. Girls always wanted always to play and befriend with other guys but not me. It was okey for me. I had my two loyal friends and my video games. Who cares about girls opinions on me. But as I grew up I started developping severe social anxiety due to years and years of insults, mockery and daily bullying. When I turned 17/18 I started worrying because all guys has gfs even my two friends. I was extremely shy and one of my friends encouraged me to talk to a few girls I was attracted to... Guess what, I was brutally rejected by them and even one of them told me: "Look at your face in the mirror, even if you're the only male on earth I wouldn't date you." It hurted me a lot. My social anxiety increased and one of the two friends told me I'm a creep and I'll remain alone till the day of my death. This was the most brutal thing I heard in my life. I stopped talking to him and the other guy works in another city and has changed his phone number and I don't have his facebook to contact him. He choosed to end our friendship obviously. Now, I'm 25 years old, alone, with no friends (I don't care about having a gf anymore, it's over for me). I lost pretty much all my social skills. I only leave my house for night walks or for going to the grocery store... I cannot even walk normally without having the feeling that someone is looking at me and laughing. I cannot ask people for help, directions or anything I need... My life is unbearable.

Sorry for my clumsy English, guys!

 

[Sensei]

That's tough, I won't deny that. I can tell you that you're not alone. I don't think it's impossible for you to change your situation. I believe you have to think of it as resetting and rebooting your system, so to speak.

Social anxiety is difficult. There are many people who suffer from social anxiety here. I'm absolutely no expert, but I know that you can get help from psychiatric care, e.g. medicines and cognitive behavioral therapy. But maybe you have tried that already? I know that some members also have been helped by self-help books such as this one. There's also the option of self-medicating, e.g. with phenibut, but if you decide to use that you need to be properly informed about the risks.

I think that getting over your social anxiety comes first. When you have done that, it will become easier to get new friends and maybe meet a girl. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, because it won't, but it will be possible, which it probably isn't right now.

And don't apologize for your English. I'm not a native speaker either, but I can easily understand everything you've written.

 

[coffeehouse]

I am sure that you are a great person and I would be your friend!

 

[Âmemalheureuse]

That's tough, I won't deny that. I can tell you that you're not alone. I don't think it's impossible for you to change your situation. I believe you have to think of it as resetting and rebooting your system, so to speak.

Social anxiety is difficult. There are many people who suffer from social anxiety here. I'm absolutely no expert, but I know that you can get help from psychiatric care, e.g. medicines and cognitive behavioral therapy. But maybe you have tried that already? I know that some members also have been helped by self-help books such as this one. There's also the option of self-medicating, e.g. with phenibut, but if you decide to use that you need to be properly informed about the risks.

I think that getting over your social anxiety comes first. When you have done that, it will become easier to get new friends and maybe meet a girl. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, because it won't, but it will be possible, which it probably isn't right now.

And don't apologize for your English. I'm not a native speaker either, but I can easily understand everything you've written.

Thanks a lot for your kind words and for the book. Social anxiety is really crippling. I haven't visited a psychiatrist yet...

I am sure that you are a great person and I would be your friend!

Thanks. That will be great!

 

[Sensei]

I haven't visited a psychiatrist yet...

I think you should give psychiatric care a shot. No, I think you must give it a shot. I shan't give you false expectations, because it doesn't work for everyone. That said, a good friend of mine (well, I don't hear from him anymore, so maybe he's not such a good friend after all) had a hashish-induced psychosis and a complete mental collapse. His social anxiety was so severe that he had to relearn such basic things as how to go into a store or use public transportation. He could start crying without warning when leaving a house or walking in a street. It took years of medication and therapy, but today he lives a normal life, in fact a much better life than I do. Your social anxiety doesn't seem to be that severe so it will probably go much faster for you if it works.

When you contact psychiatric care, it's very important that you let them know how debilitating this is for you. If start out by saying "I have this little problem..." they might not help you. In my country it's usually beneficial to disclose that you're suicidal, because then they will understand how serious your situation is and give your case priority, but I don't know how things work in your country.

When you have submitted enough posts, you'll be able to PM me or anyone else you want to talk to, if you're not comfortable discussing all aspects of your situation in public. I should also mention that there are other Germans here (your username makes me assume you're from Germany, but perhaps you're from Austria or Switzerland) and you can find some of them here: Anyone from Germany here. Maybe someone lives close to you and want to hang out?

 

[Âmemalheureuse]

I think you should give psychiatric care a shot. No, I think you must give it a shot. I shan't give you false expectations, because it doesn't work for everyone. That said, a good friend of mine (well, I don't hear from him anymore, so maybe he's not such a good friend after all) had a hashish-induced psychosis and a complete mental collapse. His social anxiety was so severe that he had to relearn such basic things as how to go into a store or use public transportation. He could start crying without warning when leaving a house or walking in a street. It took years of medication and therapy, but today he lives a normal life, in fact a much better life than I do. Your social anxiety doesn't seem to be that severe so it will probably go much faster for you if it works.

When you contact psychiatric care, it's very important that you let them know how debilitating this is for you. If start out by saying "I have this little problem..." they might not help you. In my country it's usually beneficial to disclose that you're suicidal, because then they will understand how serious your situation is and give your case priority, but I don't know how things work in your country.

When you have submitted enough posts, you'll be able to PM me or anyone else you want to talk to, if you're not comfortable discussing all aspects of your situation in public. I should also mention that there are other Germans here (your username makes me assume you're from Germany, but perhaps you're from Austria or Switzerland) and you can find some of them here: Anyone from Germany here. Maybe someone lives close to you and want to hang out?

No my case isn't as severe as your friend's case, to be honest. I cannot express how much I'm grateful for your help! You are a good person with a beautiful heart. You deserve an awesome life and I'm really sorry you're here on this forum... My username is written in French and it means unfortunate soul. I don't live in Germany.

 

[Sensei]

No my case isn't as severe as your friend's case, to be honest.

He's an extreme case. Just because your social anxiety is less severe it doesn't mean that you don't need help, though. I really think you should get in contact with psychiatric care.

I cannot express how much I'm grateful for your help! You are a good person with a beautiful heart. You deserve an awesome life and I'm really sorry you're here on this forum...

That's very kind of you. :) Too bad that we had to meet under these circumstances. I have the feeling that you'll be able to sort out your problems and won't be needing this forum, though.

My username is written in French and it means unfortunate soul. I don't live in Germany.

Pardonnez-moi! On a small screen the first letter looks like an Ä, a very common letter in my native language as well as German, so I jumped to conclusions all too quickly. Anyway, there are people from many different countries here, so it might be worth asking around.

 

[Freetodecide]

hi !!! I´m really sorry for this situation you´ve experienced in school. Don´t believe that stupid and ugly comments. Maybe you seem yourself ugly but maybe you´re not. You are a soul, not a body, Really. I wanna be your friend too.