Venting the pain is getting worse

[sincerelysad]

the chronic body pain i go thru every day does nothing but get more and more severe. every day i wake up in more pain than the last and i feel like im screaming for help or for understanding and no one can fucking hear me.
it's downplayed and treated like it's just an exaggeration, im pushed to the side and ignored and scoffed at.
i just want it to go away and coming to terms with the fact that it never will is debilitating beyond comprehension.
im mourning the life i've lost daily while also trying to cope with the fact that im a shell of who i once was with no hope of ever getting that person back.

this is fucking torture.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Are you talking about some physical ailment when you say chronic body pain?

I understand. I've dealt with mine for going on 9 days, all day, every day. It's amazing what we get used to. If it hasn't really subsided after the first year. no way would I have made it this far. I kind of wish it would be horrible okay to give me the push I apparently need (when it was bad I wasn't in a place, literally speaking here, that was conducive to CTB).

 

[sincerelysad]

Are you talking about some physical ailment when you say chronic body pain?

I understand. I've dealt with mine for going on 9 days, all day, every day. It's amazing what we get used to. If it hasn't really subsided after the first year. no way would I have made it this far. I kind of wish it would be horrible okay to give me the push I apparently need (when it was bad I wasn't in a place, literally speaking here, that was conducive to CTB).

yes, chronic body pain. going on my third year of it.
im so sorry to hear you struggle with it as well. it really is torture.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Right now the worst aspect is the psychological aspect. Doctors weren't very validating and still don't have any understanding of it. I have some understanding that mainly comes from Wikipedia. Since my symptoms are invisible, no one will or can even know what it's like and indeed they are rarely supportive. Have to confront the hell of it every day every conscious minute.

 

[sincerelysad]

Right now the worst aspect is the psychological aspect. Doctors weren't very validating and still don't have any understanding of it. I have some understanding that mainly comes from Wikipedia. Since my symptoms are invisible, no one will or can even know what it's like and indeed they are rarely supportive. Have to confront the hell of it every day every conscious minute.

i understand this SO hard you have no idea. no one can figure out what's wrong with me, i feel like im constantly fighting this giant monster every second of every day with no way to defeat it, appease it, and no real idea of where it even came from.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is horrific how this existence can torture people to such extreme extents and it's so awful how other people dismiss and invalidate this, they wouldn't be acting in such a way if they ended up in a situation of constant pain. It does sound like you have suffered so much, so I hope that you eventually find the freedom from this hellish world that you wish for.

 

[sincerelysad]

It really is horrific how this existence can torture people to such extreme extents and it's so awful how other people dismiss and invalidate this, they wouldn't be acting in such a way if they ended up in a situation of constant pain. It does sound like you have suffered so much, so I hope that you eventually find the freedom from this hellish world that you wish for.

thank you so much. it really is so unfair. you're so kind