Story The new me

[TheDevilsAngel]

Hello everyone
I have decided from today on I am going to be a new me... One who does not complain and who does not care about what people think... I am going to try and think of me and not let other people influence me irl. I'm always the one to try and help and be generous, if I can help I will.... But who is ever here for me? ... No body... Yes there is only one or two people who I am referring too here..... I am tired of been me... I need to change and grow and get confidence and know me and what I want.... I want to be free, I want to be a individual, I want to do what I want... I seem to find I do alot for others, maybe to seek there approval but I'm tired of been takin advantage off.. I have nothing but will still try to help, I'm stupid... I need to learn more about me.. Have my own opinion not lots of other pushed in together into my head... I am done with people irl from now on I need to focus on me... And I do have many here who are supportive and as far as I'm concerned that's all I need... As I was typing my cousin messaged she wants to call to see me... I am not doing it I'm tired and the energy to be around them is too much.. As I said I am doing what I want to do for once... This is party me venting I just need to get this out... I am takin one week to be selfish and think of myself. I am going to try avoid going anywhere unless it is completely necessary and when I do go out I am going to try remember to put my head up high and try to be just me inside and out.. If I can block every single person who I see and just overlook them. I want to feel like I am alone that nobody is around, its just me free and alone in this town...

 

[beatlegirl]

Rallyon, I think that taking that one week for yourself sounds like a great idea.

I don't sense an ounce of stupidness with the way you write this. I am sure the new you is just the inner part of you revealing itself!

You seem a strong person. Keep on fighting the big fight. x

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Very insightful posts, @Rallyon and @beatlegirl.

To add to the perspective, people are social animals and need one another's reciprocal support. The people in this community fulfill that need so well.

I'm reminded of an allegory in the book Boundaries.

Each person's life is a yard they are responsible for. Sometimes they need help maintaining it, which takes from others' resources. If you're watering someone else's yard, it takes from your resources. At some point, if someone doesn't like the condition of their yard, they're responsible for taking care of it. Sounds like you're taking responsibility for your yard, taking back your resources to manage and improve it, and letting your cousin and others take care of their own yards.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Rallyon, I think that taking that one week for yourself sounds like a great idea.

I don't sense an ounce of stupidness with the way you write this. I am sure the new you is just the inner part of you revealing itself!

You seem a strong person. Keep on fighting the big fight. x

Thank you for your kind words @beatlegirl I do hope this will open my mind to finally know who I am.. X

Very insightful posts, @Rallyon and @beatlegirl.

To add to the perspective, people are social animals and need one another's reciprocal support. The people in this community fulfill that need so well.

I'm reminded of an allegory in the book Boundaries.

Each person's life is a yard they are responsible for. Sometimes they need help maintaining it, which takes from others' resources. If you're watering someone else's yard, it takes from your resources. At some point, if someone doesn't like the condition of their yard, they're responsible for taking care of it. Sounds like you're taking responsibility for your yard, taking back your resources to manage and improve it, and letting your cousin and others take care of their own yards.

Thank you so much @GoodPersonEffed, the way you have worded that is just perfect...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This sounds alot like the philosophy I've adopted lately. You should focus on yourself and your own happiness for a while. It's been changing my life a bit for the better.

I wish you all the best Rallyon! You've got this!

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

Fuck yeah, take care of yourself first!

 

[imagineit]

Beautiful. I hope this period of time is productive for you. Don't think of it as being selfish, but rather a necessary effort by the individual to refocus the mind. Everyone takes time for themselves, they just do so in different ways and means.

Stand firm; the waters may get rough. Keep us updated.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

Hey @Rallyon, if you'd like, let us here know how it felt after a week. And have a good time

 

[protonic76]

Rally on, Rallyon!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hugs Wishing you the best

 

[Sensei]

Hello everyone
I have decided from today on I am going to be a new me... One who does not complain and who does not care about what people think...

This is my goal too. If I can achieve that, life will become so much easier. Good luck! You deserve to succeed.

 

[Epsilon0]

"I need to change and grow and get confidence and know me and what I want...."

Beautiful words, @Rallyon
I wish you strength to persevere on this new path. Growth is a painful process. I can tell you from my own experience that it is liberating indeed to stop caring about everyone else's good opinion. People are mostly concerned with themselves, they don't pay half as much attention to you, as you may think.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I'm thanking ye all for the lovely posts and support..... So I'm just checking in so far it is not going to plan, I picked a bad week to do this I'm hoping from tomorrow on it will get easier..... But I am been more self aware of what I want and on time, I'm not rushing for anyone... It is hard with my children tho when they have appointments etc..... I feel like I'm so close to finding myself but yet so far.... I will keep ye updated at the end of the week and let ye know how the rest of the week goes....

I do notice a tiny little but that I'm feeling ina way somewhat in 'control'... Tomorrow after I get food and things for the week.. Ill be staying in... Sending ye love and hugs