Venting the "help" available is all the fucking same, and its not helping

[liesabouthelp]

and i am so fucking lost. for over a decade, its been the same shit, just talking to countless professionals, "tell me what feelings this picture awakens in you". fuck off. the same board game groups, im fucking tired of sitting around and chitchatting. i am also too depressed to do anything more. i just want to fucking kill myself but im too depressed to do that either. WHAT DO I DO. SOMEONE. I JUST SUFFER YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR, THERES NO END TO THIS HELL. fuck your virtual hugs too. receiving a "virtual hug" and any other shallow shit just makes me feel even more hopeless. its like a confirmation for "this is it, this is all you get, now get back to suffering"
"well if you push people away like this, youll never get help". ive been accepting enough help. you can not expect anything else from a completely broken person who is sick of life, sick of people and literally just wants to die.

"im so fucking broken, i seriously want to die, im lost, i hate everything, i hate you all" "now now, be nice"

 

[hhtroc]

and i am so fucking lost. for over a decade, its been the same shit, just talking to countless professionals, "tell me what feelings this picture awakens in you". fuck off. the same board game groups, im fucking tired of sitting around and chitchatting. i am also too depressed to do anything more. i just want to fucking kill myself but im too depressed to do that either. WHAT DO I DO. SOMEONE. I JUST SUFFER YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR, THERES NO END TO THIS HELL. fuck your virtual hugs too. receiving a "virtual hug" and any other shallow shit just makes me feel even more hopeless. its like a confirmation for "this is it, this is all you get, now get back to suffering"
"well if you push people away like this, youll never get help". ive been accepting enough help. you can not expect anything else from a completely broken person who is sick of life, sick of people and literally just wants to die.

"im so fucking broken, i seriously want to die, im lost, i hate everything, i hate you all" "now now, be nice"

"well, cant help you if you dont accept help" is the worst offender, literally therapy is useless ngl, maybe there is some good therapists but a lot of them are ass.

 

[citrusrope]

Yeah a lot of times all the advice feels so surface level. Idk, if anything, hearing the advice (majority of the time from people who have never felt suicidal) starts to piss me off even more sometimes lol. Our brain chemistry is probably really different but people expect whatever worked for them to work for me and it's like, gtfo of my face dude.

I try to get better but like, the trying part feels like mental torture for me so why even bother you know, it's so much easier being depressed (relatively).

 

[squirrels]

People in general are really bad at answering general problems but are better at solving specific problems. "I want to die" is a general problem that can stem from a billion different problems that vary greatly. From debt to abusive families to experiencing chronic pain to going through a divorce are some wildly different problems. Most therapists aren't very good at recognizing this, so they usually try to apply a bandaid solution that usually doesn't work at all. Unfortunately most therapists also can't really solve specific problems, and usually require a completely different type of person or some other workaround. And then some problems can't be solved at all.

It's part of why I've stopped therapy. Some lie about what they specialize in and instead give you shit advice that you could have found in a self help book, or just advice that doesn't work. And I've usually ended up burning a lot of money in the process. Too many years spent wasted thinking snake oil might eventually work because your family makes you go through it. I hope you find the actual help you need, OP.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What can therapy do? It's not a cure to most mental health problems we have when the actual trigger cannot be eliminated. Mental health isn't like a broken leg that heals almost on its own regardless of the circumstances.

I agree, therapy can help some but it's not a cure for everyone. I totally understand how fed you are.

 

[BloomingAzaleas]

"well, cant help you if you dont accept help" is the worst offender, literally therapy is useless ngl, maybe there is some good therapists but a lot of them are ass.

Isn't this just the harsh truth though?
That's why therapy is so useless for chronically suicidal or depressed people like me, it's hard to help someone who would rather die than help themselves.

 

[hhtroc]

Isn't this just the harsh truth though?
That's why therapy is so useless for chronically suicidal or depressed people like me, it's hard to help someone who would rather die than help themselves.

I don't take offense with "we can't help you" but with the "if you don't let yourself be helped", nah it's just that the help that's offered doesn't work but I still go to therapy and to doctors and take meds so it's not like I am not trying you know. Feels bad when you feel like they blame you for "not trying"

 

[BloomingAzaleas]

I don't take offense with "we can't help you" but with the "if you don't let yourself be helped", nah it's just that the help that's offered doesn't work but I still go to therapy and to doctors and take meds so it's not like I am not trying you know. Feels bad when you feel like they blame you for "not trying"

I guess it truly is pissy if you get that response when you yourself voluntarily go to therapy and it's not something forced on to you…
Like obviously you're trying? Otherwise you won't be here looking for help.

But in a sense I still do understand frustration of trying to help someone and nothing working, it can be very easy to blame the client for that which just isn't productive.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I've given up on therapy after reaching similar conclusions to yours. Now I just research stuff myself, pair that with common sense and knowledge of how I function and go from there.
Even so, certain things can't really be helped if they come from external factors like money problems, job uncertainty, losing the roof over your head, etc.

Maybe for existential problems therapy could be useful, I do have some of those, but even so I haven't found a therapist that could help with that. Whenever they're confronted with good arguments for life not being worth living, they evade the subject. I've had more success reading Philosophy to be honest.

I think, at some point, we develop a PHD level of knowledge of our own suffering and "professionals" become useless as we actually know more about our pain and generally what works with us and what doesn't.

To me is simple, either I'm smart enough and have the resources to fix my problems, or I'd rather just throw in the towel. I'm not putting psych drugs in my body again nor wasting money telling my life story for the 1000th time to later find out they have no idea how to help me.

 

[goneangels]

ive been trying to get help for so long that i'm just so sick of it. i have had to move around a bunch of times for school and each time it's waiting months for appointments, getting told "i can't help you" or "you're not a good fit" and trying to find a therapist that matches well with me. doctors always don't believe my diagnoses and want to start from the beginning so i have to wait months for evaluations too. and i can't be honest and say what's really going on or i'll get sectioned. always the threat of having all the stability in my life ripped away from me, everything that keeps me from CTB stolen from me if i admit that i want to hurt myself. really exhausting. anytime i do end up in the ER they treat me like im malingering or stealing resources from people who need to be there. im convinced that nobody who CAN help WANTS to

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I think, at some point, we develop a PHD level of knowledge of our own suffering and "professionals" become useless as we actually know more about our pain and generally what works with us and what doesn't.

This nails it. The people who find therapy helpful usually aren't that introspective, so having someone label those thoughts/emotions and connect the dots to their experiences feels like a revelation to them. Something like CBT or DBT is mind-blowing because of this, which many therapists can skirt by on and thus becomes the "gold standard" (also because it's cheaper/easier to learn/easier to implement).

For those like myself and many others on the forum, who are already well-versed in their life story and their suffering, therapy usually can't come up with any new answers. Especially if you're traumatized and/or suicidal. It's always mindfulness, or yoga, or meditation, or whatever the next cookie-cutter response the mental health industry and its defenders trot out when someone is suffering. You can pour out your soul again and again and again to several of these therapists, and the response will always be the same because that's all they know and are trained on. And if you dare mention suicide, chances are you'll get dropped as a client or get sectioned in a psych ward.

We're always told to "reach out" and that "help is always available", but that help is a complete sham. It really sucks and I feel for everyone who had to deal with it.

 

[Hikikomori-chan]

God I know exactly what you mean. I've overspoken about my situation to what feels like a million people and each time it's almost all the same, "It'll get better." "It'll change" I've spent 10+ years unhappy, yet I'm just stuck in this stagnant moment where I know I can't do anything about it at all. That's just how mentally warped my brain is. I just want to cry/scream/go numb right next to someone who understands and I just can't picture that I'm going to find that in old age. My worst fear is being found dead on the streets and my body was just tossed into the gutter. I don't want it to be true that I was really just garbage all along.