Venting the guilt that invades my brain

[greenblood]

I didn't feel too guilty before, but now that I'm getting closer to the date of my departure, the guilt has returned. Today my friends saw me discouraged and tried to cheer me up in a thousand ways, while they tried to make me smile, I only reacted with a slight smile and didn't say anything. While they made me smile, it seemed that I made a kind of pause in my reality and in my mind I said "they really are trying to save me, I imagine how they would react when I'm gone."

I didn't want to tell them that I was discouraged and I only said "don't worry about it" but they insisted saying "if you don't tell us, we'll worry more."

guilt really invaded my brain.