T
Traveller12724
Experienced
- May 14, 2024
- 242
For a month now I have been mentally rehearsing how my SN day will go when it comes around towards the end of the year, every time I would get to the drinking part, I would get paralyzed by fear mentally but today it was different, in the rehearsal when it got to the drinking part, there was no fear, simply acceptance, acceptance that there is nothing more I could have done, acceptance that I am too broken and I actually never stood a chance in all my attempts to save myself and try to turn myself for the better.
11 years fighting to save myself, I think I deserve some rest and relief, I am glad my mind is reaching acceptance, my final day doesn't have to be this big scary thing, I can walk into it calmly, endure what needs enduring and finally find the freedom I have sought all my life. I may not deserve much in this life but I think I deserve at least that.
11 years fighting to save myself, I think I deserve some rest and relief, I am glad my mind is reaching acceptance, my final day doesn't have to be this big scary thing, I can walk into it calmly, endure what needs enduring and finally find the freedom I have sought all my life. I may not deserve much in this life but I think I deserve at least that.