The fate of a pessimist, complainer, downer. First read the Reddit comments, then the quote.

[a.n.kirillov]

vs

»In the workaday world, complainers will not go far. When someone asks how you are doing, you had better be wise enough to reply, "I can't complain." If you do complain, even justifiably, people will stop asking how you are doing. Complaining will not help you succeed and influence people. You can complain to your physician or psychiatrist because they are paid to hear you complain. But you cannot complain to your boss or your friends, if you have any. You will soon be dismissed from your job and dropped from the social register. Then you will be left alone with your complaints and no one to listen to them. Perhaps then the message will sink into your head: If you do not feel good enough for long enough, you should act as if you do and even think as if you do. That is the way to get yourself to feel good enough for long enough and stop you from complaining for good, as any self-improvement book can affirm. But should you not improve, someone must assume the blame. And that someone will be you. This is monumentally so if you are a pessimist or a depressive. Should you conclude that life is objectionable or that nothing matters— do not waste our time with your nonsense. We are on our way to the future, and the philosophically disheartening or the emotionally impaired are not going to hinder our progress. If you cannot say something positive, or at least equivocal, keep it to yourself. Pessimists and depressives need not apply for a position in the enterprise of life. You have two choices: Start thinking the way God and your society want you to think or be forsaken by all. The decision is yours, since you are a free agent who can choose to rejoin our fabricated world or stubbornly insist on … what? That we should mollycoddle non-positive thinkers like you or rethink how the whole world transacts its business? That we should start over from scratch? Or that we should go extinct? Try to be realistic. We did the best we could with the tools we had. After all, we are only human, as we like to say. Our world may not be in accord with nature's way, but it did develop organically according to our consciousness, which delivered us to a lofty prominence over the Creation. The whole thing just took on a life of its own, and nothing is going to stop it anytime soon. There can be no starting over and no going back. No major readjustments are up for a vote. And no melancholic head-case is going to bad-mouth our catastrophe. The universe was created by the Creator, damn it. We live in a country we love and that loves us back. We have families and friends and jobs that make it all worthwhile. We are somebodies, not a bunch of nobodies without names or numbers or retirement plans. None of this is going to be overhauled by a thought criminal who contends that the world is not doubleplusgood and never will be. Our lives may not be unflawed— that would deny us a better future to work toward— but if this charade is good enough for us, then it should be good enough for you. So if you cannot get your mind right, try walking away. You will find no place to go and no one who will have you. You will find only the same old trap the world over. Lighten up or leave us alone. You will never get us to give up our hopes. You will never get us to wake up from our dreams. We are not contradictory beings whose continuance only worsens our plight as mutants who embody the contorted logic of a paradox. Such opinions will not be accredited by institutions of authority or by the middling run of humanity. To lay it on the line, whatever thoughts may enter your chemically imbalanced brain are invalid, inauthentic, or whatever dismissive term we care to hang on you, who are only "one of those people." So start pretending that you feel good enough for long enough, stop your complaining, and get back in line. If you are not as strong as Samson— that no-good suicide and slaughterer of Philistines— then get loaded to the gills and return to the trap. Keep your medicine cabinet and your liquor cabinet well stocked, just like the rest of us. Come on and join the party. No pessimists or depressives invited. Do you think we are morons? We know all about those complaints of yours. The only difference is that we have sense enough and feel good enough for long enough not to speak of them. Keep your powder dry and your brains blocked. Our shibboleth: "Up the Conspiracy and down with Consciousness.«

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Gives a whole new meaning to the "fake it tell you make it" saying. There is some inherent truth in the saying and what you're talking about.

When you're in hard times no one wants to hear about it. They will often abandon you at the whiff of any sort of trouble or dilemma that you may be in.

I suppose it's why many of us wear masks to hide who we are. Society is fake and if you aren't atleast trying to blend in then you'll be ostracized and isolated.

 

[coreofanapple]

God, how dare his friend be upset when she isn't doing well financially, physically and mentally? Don't you know you're raining on my parade by being poor and ill? Away with ye, wretch!

 

[Epsilon0]

Here is my take on things:

There's a place and a time for everything.

Complaining and being depressed at work or when you are out with friends is meaningless, annoying and quite frankly attention-seeking. If you know you can't help yourself and you will rain on everyone's parade, maybe you should not go to the parade in the first place.

Work, parties, family gatherings or other social events are neither the time nor the place to start venting about the futility of life and spew out cynicism or voice misantropic views.

So, I advocate restraint and self-abnegation in the situations mentioned above. This doesn't mean you betray yourself, or bend your extraordinarily special personality to the will of society.

It is basic decency - basic respect, if you will - towards your humans fellows who may not wish to have your depression forced upon them.

So, when and where is it right to complain, to be a downer as the op calls it?

Well, you have to take a look at your life and find that time and place: therapy, best friend, a spouse, a doctor, a random stranger on the net, a suicide forum etc.

 

[262653]

I'm not seeing the Reddit comments for some reason, but I loved the quote, thanks for sharing. So much fancy words and idioms I've never heard before. I wouldn't say it was a big relevation but damn it was wonderfully written. And I still can't really tell which side the author favors here.

I can't complain.

This just got a new connotation for me :)

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Here is my take on things:

There's a place and a time for everything.

Complaining and being depressed at work or when you are out with friends is meaningless, annoying and quite frankly attention-seeking. If you know you can't help yourself and you will rain on everyone's parade, maybe you should not go to the parade in the first place.

Work, parties, family gatherings or other social events are neither the time nor the place to start venting about the futility of life and spew out cynicism or voice misantropic views.

So, I advocate restraint and self-abnegation in the situations mentioned above. This doesn't mean you betray yourself, or bend your extraordinarily special personality to the will of society.

It is basic decency - basic respect, if you will - towards your humans fellows who may not wish to have your depression forced upon them.

So, when and where is it right to complain, to be a downer as the op calls it?

Well, you have to take a look at your life and find that time and place: therapy, best friend, a spouse, a doctor, a random stranger on the net, a suicide forum etc.

Oh I completely agree. This is why I repeatedly told my friends that I don't expect them to help me and that I understand if they distance themselves, why I monitor my envy and resentment to keep it in check and why I self isolate.

Nothing wrong with them living the high life, but if we are having a philosophical discussion, or in living my life in general, I will not pretend to be something I am not.

That's one of the benefits of being a grown up—not having to fake it as much anymore.

I'm not seeing the Reddit comments for some reason, but I loved the quote, thanks for sharing. So much fancy words and idioms I've never heard before. I wouldn't say it was a big relevation but damn it was wonderfully written. And I still can't really tell which side the author favors here.

This just got a new connotation for me :)

The author is Thomas Ligotti, a lifelong suicidally depressed supernatural horror story author, so I guess he favors our side ;-).

The book is called "The conspiracy against the human race".

 

[Epsilon0]

"Nothing wrong with them living the high life, but if we are having a philosophical discussion, or in living my life in general, I will not pretend to be something I am not."


Well said @a.n.kirillov !

 

[BabyYoda]

Shit, guess I'm a bad friend cause I'm too "negative" ..

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The "depressed and pessimistic" friend in the Reddit quote seems to have been in need of like-minded and like-emotioned friends.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

The "depressed and pessimistic" friend in the Reddit quote seems to have been in need of like-minded and like-emotioned friends.

Or some books; without Schopenhauer I would've gone insane by now...

And then there's the YouTube antinatalist/ pessimist community, which has been around for a long time (inmendham, the dude who wrote confessions of an antinatalist, etc ...).

 

[Epsilon0]

Or some books; without Schopenhauer I would've gone insane by now...

And then there's the YouTube antinatalist/ pessimist community, which has been around for a long time (inmendham, the dude who wrote confessions of an antinatalist, etc ...).

I feel that way about Kierkegaard. He saved me in more ways than one when I became ill many years ago.

In his own torturous way he spoke to me through the ages. His tragic life story and the despair which he poured into each single line he ever wrote soothed my broken spirit.

Kierkegaard was a faithful companion and a beacon of hope for me. His writings - infinitly deep, intricate, unintelligible oftentimes and poetic to the point that I could hardly withstand their perfection - helped me see beauty in a world which had lost its glory.

 

[Grey-zone]

The author is Thomas Ligotti, a lifelong suicidally depressed supernatural horror story author, so I guess he favors our side ;-).

The book is called "The conspiracy against the human race".

I see that the writer of "True Detective" was influenced by his work. He sounds like a good author. I should have heard of him by now, being a fan of Lovecraft.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I see that the writer of "True Detective" was influenced by his work. He sounds like a good author. I should have heard of him by now, being a fan of Lovecraft.

Yeah, He talks a lot about Lovecraft, who I have never read.

The true detective character must have been based on the YouTuber inmendham imo; the long hair, the cigarettes, and the way he says "fuuuck youuuu!" At the end of the scene ^^

 

[Grey-zone]

I would recommend Lovecraft. He was one of the first writers to create a mythic world of his own in a modern manner, with recurring characters and places, etc.. From the excerpts of his letters I've read he was also a depressive cynic and hated much of the modern world around him. He died too young, before he got to refine and explore his ideas further.
So now I will have to read Ligotti it seems.