The Euphoria Of Suicide?

[PrettyKitty]

I'm not scared of death anymore like at all when I think about it I feel Euphoria I feel like I'm floating, when I listened to the song in my brothers car heading home. I had a vision of me on the floor of my bedroom pregnant with my wrist slit all the way up my whole arm and i was bleeding out I had a white gown on and my hair was done nice and my makeup made me look like I was a angel. Made me scared at first because it was so detailed with the way the blood and everything was, almost thought it was real than I felt warm and the Euphoria of how happy it would be to just waste away. I wonder if any of you have felt this way maybe I'm just crazy?

I get this feeling when I die its gonna be soon or least when I'm young I am trying so hard to be better but I wanna die because of how bad my life is and BPD but also because the pure euphoria I feel from past attempts I want to fly again. I'm only 18 I have my whole life ahead but yet I want to end it so soon?

 

[7@vuse99]

Hey
I also struggle with BPD and have made past attempts. I understand what you mean when you refer to having fantasies and images of dying as well as the feeling of floating and it is euphoric. Dying was peaceful to me and I miss that feeling. I am 19 but I also have a feeling I will most likely pass away young. However, I am also trying hard to be better and make progress, even if it's a small bit at a time.

I'm wishing you all the best for your journey ahead and know you are not alone in how you feel.

 

[PrettyKitty]

Hey
I also struggle with BPD and have made past attempts. I understand what you mean when you refer to having fantasies and images of dying as well as the feeling of floating and it is euphoric. Dying was peaceful to me and I miss that feeling. I am 19 but I also have a feeling I will most likely pass away young. However, I am also trying hard to be better and make progress, even if it's a small bit at a time.

I'm wishing you all the best for your journey ahead and know you are not alone in how you feel.

thank you

 

[WaffleWoman]

it feels calming to me to think about ctb and when i have attempted my brain goes calm if that makes sense i stop thinking i stop worrying like you i am 18 and feel as though i will pass away young

 

[leftdreaming]

Ctb thoughts are a slippery slope. The euphoria seems to act as addiction to me and it's gotten out of control. Do you feel the same?

 

[cami]

this. i have bpd and the only moment i have felt true peace has been when i have tried to ctb. it's like the world goes quiet and i finally feel happy.

 

[blacksand]

same here all I think about is death these days. To me the eternal nothing on either side of life is the same thing and I'm obsessed with it.

 

[feder]

I've also had visions like that, for example lying In a field with my brains blown out. It was oddly comforting, so you are definitely not alone in this.