I understand the anguish you feel as far as how your death would affect those around you.
However, as someone once said of families who have a a family member who died by suicide, "Your love for them does not negate their suffering."
It's true. It's hard for families to comprehend but it is true.
People call suicide selfish. I'm sorry, but we the suicidal have been hanging on by a thin, anguished thread and have been keeping ourselves propped for a long time in order to avoid hurting others.
We're not selfish or uncaring. We live with pain that others could not imagine and we did our best for years. Many painful years.
I wish people could look at mental, emotional and psychological pain the same way that they look at physical pain and physical illness. Suicide would not be such a mystery to them if they were able to do that.
I wish I could be there to help you.
Wishing you blessings and peace, regardless of what decision you come to my friend.
