
LadyAlastor
Fading In And out losing time with the two I love.
- Jan 13, 2020
- 151
So there's something I wanted to know and understand, is there a feeling in your body that makes you want to end it?
For me it's when I get tingly feelings in my wrists and around my neck and it's like my brain responds to it saying essentially the following phrases.
"it's okay baby just let go".
"End it"
"It's time to sleep with the Stars"
"Open the gates to hell I'm coming home"
"Why do you keep fighting? It's useless"
"You're bleeding out mentally just let go"
"You died three times on an operating table, you don't belong here"
"You know it feels right so just do it"
Understand that these particular feelings and these areas are physical and mental I used to scratch at my wrist and my neck but now I don't anymore because it's not going to work, it just feels like a signal in my brain that says "it's time to delete, it's time to erase yourself, just fall asleep and let darkness consume you and you'll find peace"
As the feelings continue to get stronger different phrases pop into my mind every phrase getting stronger than the next.
Then comes the crying then the maniacal laughter mixed with the crying then comes the heavy breathing mixed with the sobbing I'll look at my closet I know I have all the tools to do this yet I continue to fight and I hate it I just want to get this over with I have no idea why the hell I'm here on this place this Earth.
Excuse my rambling sorry.
My point in all this is I'm wondering if any of you go through the same experience because I feel like I'm the only one that gets tingles in their wrist and around their throat.
It is the most overwhelming feeling on the planet for me and I'm not going to lie it's lightly happening right now it's like a buildup and it gets stronger and stronger and stronger till the feeling and overwhelming just get too much.
For me it's when I get tingly feelings in my wrists and around my neck and it's like my brain responds to it saying essentially the following phrases.
"it's okay baby just let go".
"End it"
"It's time to sleep with the Stars"
"Open the gates to hell I'm coming home"
"Why do you keep fighting? It's useless"
"You're bleeding out mentally just let go"
"You died three times on an operating table, you don't belong here"
"You know it feels right so just do it"
Understand that these particular feelings and these areas are physical and mental I used to scratch at my wrist and my neck but now I don't anymore because it's not going to work, it just feels like a signal in my brain that says "it's time to delete, it's time to erase yourself, just fall asleep and let darkness consume you and you'll find peace"
As the feelings continue to get stronger different phrases pop into my mind every phrase getting stronger than the next.
Then comes the crying then the maniacal laughter mixed with the crying then comes the heavy breathing mixed with the sobbing I'll look at my closet I know I have all the tools to do this yet I continue to fight and I hate it I just want to get this over with I have no idea why the hell I'm here on this place this Earth.
Excuse my rambling sorry.
My point in all this is I'm wondering if any of you go through the same experience because I feel like I'm the only one that gets tingles in their wrist and around their throat.
It is the most overwhelming feeling on the planet for me and I'm not going to lie it's lightly happening right now it's like a buildup and it gets stronger and stronger and stronger till the feeling and overwhelming just get too much.