KuriGohan&Kamehameha
想死不能 - 想活不能
- Nov 23, 2020
- 1,798
This idiot NHS receptionist has ruined what little peace of mind I have left.
So, I had to register at this GP surgery, however, my boyfriend assured me things would be completely under my control- no more coercion, no more forced physical exams that I really did not need, no more gaslighting, no more forced drugging on psych meds, no more telling me that my pain isn't real, no more ever being sexually abused by a doctor ever again.
He assured me that any fear I had in my head this point was a fiction, because he would not allow them to push me around.
Well, the NHS had other plans. First, they made me go in person to deliver a form saying he could speak on my behalf. I was forced to speak, and I went mute, because I was triggered so badly being in that environment and was utterly horrified. We told them then and there, do not call my cell phone again, call my boyfriend's phone, because it is likely I will freeze up and not be able to have the necessary conversations due to my ptsd and autism.
These people start blowing up my phone with calls again several days later. They screwed up my paperwork and need me to come back and redo it. So I go back to the surgery, and am greeted with this condescending receptionist who once again starts forcing me to talk when I'm uncomfortable, and won't let my boyfriend speak. The whole time this is happening, she keeps saying my birth/legal name at the beginning of every sentence.
Once I fixed the paperwork, I looked at my boyfriend, and he understood exactly why I was upset. When I did the papers, they gave me no option to put a preferred name. I have never went by my legal name, because it is a religious nomenclature that my zealot parents blessed me with. Everyone knows that I do not go by that name, and my university and peers respect that I have always used a different name.
My boyfriend said to her, excuse me, my partner goes by __, is there any way you can call her that instead, your forums had no option for a preferred name? This Karen smirked at us and repeated my legal name name, saying that they would only accommodate those requests for legitamate reasons and that I had to give a compelling reason in writing why I did not want the NHS to call me my legal name.
He tried to argue with her but she just kept interrupting him and calling me the wrong name. At this point I'm very anxious and pissed, but try to remain composed. Then, out of nowhere this receptionist, who neither of us had ever spoken to today, brings up my fucking trauma loud enough for everyone on the street to hear.
We were standing outside and there were people on the sidewalks. I was so humiliated, I went mute again and physically couldn't speak. She keeps talking and says, "We will put a female chaperone in the room with you so that you're able to be examined."
First off, I did not consent to any of this and I did not appreciate her spilling my pain out in broad daylight. Second of all, they do not know of my health problems yet, so why are they already trying to force me to do things I am not comfortable with? The forms were such a joke, for the mental health section the only boxes that existed were for depression, anxiety, and bipolar. So I couldn't even explain that I had ptsd, I had to write a note on the end as a comment since they did not have anywhere to discuss it on the forms.
My boyfriend tried to shut her down but by then it was too late, she was trying to act like he was controlling or something when he was trying to protect me from whatever was about to come out of her mouth next. This woman was not understanding at all and made me feel embarrassed and ashamed because she spoke to me like I was an idiotic child. I couldn't get away fast enough.
Whenever I got home I wanted to curl in a ball and cry because I know they're going to hurt me. They're going to tell me that my CFS, chronic pain, and IBS is all in my head and I know they will try to withhold things from me unless I consent to doing things I don't want to consent to. I have already had so many blood tests, had to endure being touched all over while I wanted to scream multiple times, a scan, and tried around 20 different medications and treatments.
There is pretty much nothing they can do, yet everyone insists I must "face my fear" and accept the help. Can't they see, these people are not helping me at all, they are hurting me with their ignorance. They don't understand shit about chronic pain, nor trauma, especially not when the agony has been caused by their very profession. They have no compassion. They do not wish to make adjustments for people who have been scarred for life. They only care about covering their asses in regards to legal liability.
So thank you, valiant NHS heroes, I will be clapping for you on my way to the afterlife when I can finally leave this hell world.
So, I had to register at this GP surgery, however, my boyfriend assured me things would be completely under my control- no more coercion, no more forced physical exams that I really did not need, no more gaslighting, no more forced drugging on psych meds, no more telling me that my pain isn't real, no more ever being sexually abused by a doctor ever again.
He assured me that any fear I had in my head this point was a fiction, because he would not allow them to push me around.
Well, the NHS had other plans. First, they made me go in person to deliver a form saying he could speak on my behalf. I was forced to speak, and I went mute, because I was triggered so badly being in that environment and was utterly horrified. We told them then and there, do not call my cell phone again, call my boyfriend's phone, because it is likely I will freeze up and not be able to have the necessary conversations due to my ptsd and autism.
These people start blowing up my phone with calls again several days later. They screwed up my paperwork and need me to come back and redo it. So I go back to the surgery, and am greeted with this condescending receptionist who once again starts forcing me to talk when I'm uncomfortable, and won't let my boyfriend speak. The whole time this is happening, she keeps saying my birth/legal name at the beginning of every sentence.
Once I fixed the paperwork, I looked at my boyfriend, and he understood exactly why I was upset. When I did the papers, they gave me no option to put a preferred name. I have never went by my legal name, because it is a religious nomenclature that my zealot parents blessed me with. Everyone knows that I do not go by that name, and my university and peers respect that I have always used a different name.
My boyfriend said to her, excuse me, my partner goes by __, is there any way you can call her that instead, your forums had no option for a preferred name? This Karen smirked at us and repeated my legal name name, saying that they would only accommodate those requests for legitamate reasons and that I had to give a compelling reason in writing why I did not want the NHS to call me my legal name.
He tried to argue with her but she just kept interrupting him and calling me the wrong name. At this point I'm very anxious and pissed, but try to remain composed. Then, out of nowhere this receptionist, who neither of us had ever spoken to today, brings up my fucking trauma loud enough for everyone on the street to hear.
We were standing outside and there were people on the sidewalks. I was so humiliated, I went mute again and physically couldn't speak. She keeps talking and says, "We will put a female chaperone in the room with you so that you're able to be examined."
First off, I did not consent to any of this and I did not appreciate her spilling my pain out in broad daylight. Second of all, they do not know of my health problems yet, so why are they already trying to force me to do things I am not comfortable with? The forms were such a joke, for the mental health section the only boxes that existed were for depression, anxiety, and bipolar. So I couldn't even explain that I had ptsd, I had to write a note on the end as a comment since they did not have anywhere to discuss it on the forms.
My boyfriend tried to shut her down but by then it was too late, she was trying to act like he was controlling or something when he was trying to protect me from whatever was about to come out of her mouth next. This woman was not understanding at all and made me feel embarrassed and ashamed because she spoke to me like I was an idiotic child. I couldn't get away fast enough.
Whenever I got home I wanted to curl in a ball and cry because I know they're going to hurt me. They're going to tell me that my CFS, chronic pain, and IBS is all in my head and I know they will try to withhold things from me unless I consent to doing things I don't want to consent to. I have already had so many blood tests, had to endure being touched all over while I wanted to scream multiple times, a scan, and tried around 20 different medications and treatments.
There is pretty much nothing they can do, yet everyone insists I must "face my fear" and accept the help. Can't they see, these people are not helping me at all, they are hurting me with their ignorance. They don't understand shit about chronic pain, nor trauma, especially not when the agony has been caused by their very profession. They have no compassion. They do not wish to make adjustments for people who have been scarred for life. They only care about covering their asses in regards to legal liability.
So thank you, valiant NHS heroes, I will be clapping for you on my way to the afterlife when I can finally leave this hell world.
