Thank you so muchI am extremely glad that you did not go through, and I hope that one day you will come to feel the same
Your appointment has gone well and your cpm was kind, as always. You shared your worries and it was good. And that's a great outcome, your appointments are and will continue to be helping you, slowly but surely.
Just because some people care for you and are worried about you does not make you a burden in any way - I say that from the bottom of my heart. It my experience, it's always been the opposite - whenever I get to care about somebody, I feel like I'm needed, because I'm of assistance. And I'm certain that the people arounh you who provide you help feel the same way when they help you - they are happy that they can be a positive influence. And this will continue. You do not have to die, you should not die. Stay with us - even if nobody else, then we will always be on your side. Hugs
really feels like i'm doing the wrong thingthank you so much
thank you so much . It's too late to ask for appt. now as she'll be out of office but i'm ok with that .
Thank you for your kindness
Thank you . I am getting good help now.
Yes a warning sign that I can't trust anyone and should run away.
. I'm so evil through and through. Idk what's coming next and i need to put a stop for it. They're getting more pushy with thoughts and commands of things never do. I'm really not me at all anymore, more and more of my body and brain is this evil entity and I have to kill it before the world ends sorry.
Maybe there is a duty worker with the EIP who deals with any problems occurring when staff are on leave. You could contact them tomorrow and tell them all this. You could read it to them from your posts on here today. I'm still safe and very well. System has done nothing to me or the others supporting you on here. Keep going my friend. Tomorrow the challenge result will be in, and I'll still be here and the system will have done nothing too me. It'll be ok. You are not evil and you are certainly not a burden. xxxxThank you . I am getting good help now.
Yes a warning sign that I can't trust anyone and should run away.
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Sorry just vents
Really struggling today. Sleeping and eating is hard when I can't trust my mum. Sometimes her face and voice seem to change, they're gaining more control. Nowhere else I can go though and have little money as unemployed. Bad things happened last night at clock change because I broke major rule and the system is angry. So many are dying because of me
Thank you for your constant kindness and support, it means more than you even realise
I just wanted to point out that night time is over where I am and nothing bad happened to me, and there were not any new bad events going on in the world that I am aware of.Thank you . I am getting good help now.
Yes a warning sign that I can't trust anyone and should run away.
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Sorry just vents
Really struggling today. Sleeping and eating is hard when I can't trust my mum. Sometimes her face and voice seem to change, they're gaining more control. Nowhere else I can go though and have little money as unemployed. Bad things happened last night at clock change because I broke major rule and the system is angry. So many are dying because of me
Thank you for your reassurance and kindness . It means a lot to me .
If you do need to contact them early, there's no shame in that. I've done it in the past and they've been pleased that I've done it. I think that's why my mental health workers have always liked me. I try super-hard doing everything they say, and if I get into problems where it gets dangerous, I call them for help. It inspires trust in both me and them. Hope you have a better day today timetodie24. I'm going to make myself get outside in the sun and make the garden look prettier. xxxxThank you for your constant kindness and support, it means more than you even realise
They do have duty workers but I assured my cpn I'd manage without support this week. And nothing has really changed from what I told her the other day. So not urgent enough to bother duty and nothing they can do anyway xx
Rubbish. I think my challenge that the system can't hurt me is a better test than yours. Because it doesn't hurt anyone including me. We won't be enlightened if you ctb. We'll be sad that you died and the driver and witnesses were traumatised, and all in vain. I stand by my challenge that I will be around and well tomorrow and there's nothing the system can do about it. See you tomorrow my friend
Agree with alltoomuch2 here.
Less trauma and fewer deaths if I do it than if I don'tRubbish. I think my challenge that the system can't hurt me is a better test than yours. Because it doesn't hurt anyone including me. We won't be enlightened if you ctb. We'll be sad that you died and the driver and witnesses were traumatised, and all in vain. I stand by my challenge that I will be around and well tomorrow and there's nothing the system can do about it. See you tomorrow my friend
thank you so much for all your kindness and support . Hugs and sunshine your way tooAgree with alltoomuch2 here.
Not gonna prove anything. It shouldn't have to prove anything either. If you end things it should be for YOU. Not because the system says so.
Nothing new bad happening here either.
I wish you'd contact them for an appointment. Nothing may have changed, but you should have said yes in my opinion anyways to start with.
I've done the same before (accepted an replacement therapist when my own went on holiday) and it changed somethings for the good, even if like you I felt like a burden at the time. I wasn't a burden to them.
Sending you loads and loads of hugs and sunshine to brighten up your day a bit
I'm sorry to disagree here. But you are right about one. We can't guarantee anything. Nobody can... That's life...Less trauma and fewer deaths if I do it than if I don't
thank you so much for all your kindness and support . Hugs and sunshine your way too
It's only missing 1 appt. so doesn't matter.
None of you can gurantee anything and that's ok . But I can guarantee all the good that comes of my ctb. It is for me too, not just saving people.
I understand things about how the world works that none of you do but you'll see afterwards.
Well, I'm still hereLess trauma and fewer deaths if I do it than if I don't
thank you so much for all your kindness and support . Hugs and sunshine your way too
It's only missing 1 appt. so doesn't matter.
None of you can gurantee anything and that's ok . But I can guarantee all the good that comes of my ctb. It is for me too, not just saving people.
I understand things about how the world works that none of you do but you'll see afterwards.
. I'm still fine and very well. The system hasn't done anything to me. I still think you should contact the EIP team and tell them the system's time scale in it's demands as they'll have experience of this stuff. You know I think you're honest, caring and brave. But I think you still need EIP's help and support to deal with what is happening to you, rather than trying to tough it out on your own. We on here support you as much as we can but it's not the same as a phone call or face to face. I think you should call them today and tell them the latest updates you've written here. It won't do any harm and it might help you get through some of the confusion and fear to talk in person. I hope you can see that if the system couldn't manage to get to me, just one little person, then the chances of it allowing many people to die are nil. It's bluffing. Don't die in vain. Talk it through with your team. It doesn't matter if your psych nurse is away. There'll still be a duty worker or similar to help. Big strong hugs to you from your very much alive and well friend xxx
