lospollos

lospollos

Pro-choice
Mar 31, 2019
27
I tried to hang myself ... twice and obviously they didn't work. I want to do it again but both times I've done if and passed out I wake up screaming and thrashing around. I can only try when I'm home alone. I just want to talk to ONE person about it. This teacher. I've planned it in my head I'll tell her to promise not to tell as I cannot have my parents know. I want to tell her about my self harm and show her my scars. Just one person. And my experience and how scary when I woke up in pain not being able to see whilst being strangled. Fuck I hate life. Should I do it?
 
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C

Cookiedough8956

Wowzers
Feb 24, 2019
636
Oh .. that promise will be broken :/ sorry to tell you. Its a requirement for teachers to report these kinds of things- such as if your actively thinking about suicide.
But other than that, I think it might be good for you to open up, share your emotions, and whatever is on your mind. Might make you feel "free".

Just be careful of what you say. As much as exploding your emotions might feel good, theres consequences to it
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,798
Oh .. that promise will be broken :/ sorry to tell you. Its a requirement for teachers to report these kinds of things- such as if your actively thinking about suicide.
But other than that, I think it might be good for you to open up, share your emotions, and whatever is on your mind. Might make you feel "free".

Just be careful of what you say. As much as exploding your emotions might feel good, theres consequences to it
Yeah teachers are considered mandated reporters, meaning that by law, they are legally required to report situations where someone is thinking of harming others or themselves (it sucks but that's just the law). I do agree about opening up about other non-ctb or harmful things, but most importantly, wording and framing it in such a way that won't be misconstrued is VERY important.
 
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Mr. Hang Man

Mr. Hang Man

Just hanging around
Mar 11, 2019
69
Follow the advice of the two previous posters behind me. I only advise telling your teacher if you want help. If you don't want help and want to ctb telling someone who isint a authority figure will probably work out a lot better for you.
 
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color_me_gone

color_me_gone

Sun is rising
Dec 27, 2018
970
@lospollos
You might consider venting and ranting here.
We are very sympathetic, because we are all in similar boats.
I lot of members do this.
It always helps to share your problems.
We will not treat you like a shrink would.
It is part of what this site is for.
I am sorry about what you are going through.
 
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Umbra

Umbra

Trans Girl
Mar 15, 2019
109
I would highly recommend against it
 
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lospollos

lospollos

Pro-choice
Mar 31, 2019
27
Thank you all for replying really appreciate it! :hug::hug:
I keep playing out the situation. However, I won't tell her. I desperately want to ctb. You know what they say '3rd times a charm!'. I have a 2 week holiday which hopefully I'll have many times I can try and hopefully succeed!!! Xxx
 
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omw/2/ctb

omw/2/ctb

Nothing in his life became him like the leaving it
Mar 29, 2019
53
Hi Lospollos,

I'll begin with an apology for the length of this, but I think it's important to really think this through carefully.

Reading other people's responses disturbs me a little. I know people mean well but I'm not sure anyone can or should tell you "do" or "don't". We're all here because we're considering ending our own lives for our own reasons but that doesn't mean we all will. Clearly there are people who have been here on the forum for a considerable time, and that's their right. Just because someone is feeling suicidal, or even planning suicide, doesn't necessarily mean they will commit suicide or even that they really want to. These are very complex issues that other people can help you think about, but ultimately can only be resolved by you.

The impulse to reach out to the teacher indicates that maybe what you really want more than anything is someone you respect to acknowledge the pain you're struggling with. That's a good and healthy impulse. People are correct to advise you that the teacher has no discretion in the matter and must report that she believes you are at risk. It's possible that the interventions that follow will provide the support you need and offer you other possibilities than taking your own life. I don't think anyone should try to discount that opportunity for you. The outcome may not be the solution to your problems, but you'll never know if you don't try.

If you have the impulse to trust the teacher then it might be worth talking to her. Even if it doesn't ultimately prove to be helpful, it's not like they're going to straight-jacket you and throw you in a psych ward...they'll bring in people to help with the kinds of pain and anxiety you're struggling with. I wish for you, and for me and for everyone here that a living solution would displace the terminal solution we're all considering. It may not occur for many of us, but I feel we should celebrate the outcome for those who do.

Good luck, whatever you decide Lospollos.

p.s. I am myself a secondary teacher and I'm willing to discuss the matter with you one to one if you like (my kik account name is: omw2ctb)
 
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S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
Hi Lospollos,

I'll begin with an apology for the length of this, but I think it's important to really think this through carefully.

Reading other people's responses disturbs me a little. I know people mean well but I'm not sure anyone can or should tell you "do" or "don't". We're all here because we're considering ending our own lives for our own reasons but that doesn't mean we all will. Clearly there are people who have been here on the forum for a considerable time, and that's their right. Just because someone is feeling suicidal, or even planning suicide, doesn't necessarily mean they will commit suicide or even that they really want to. These are very complex issues that other people can help you think about, but ultimately can only be resolved by you.

The impulse to reach out to the teacher indicates that maybe what you really want more than anything is someone you respect to acknowledge the pain you're struggling with. That's a good and healthy impulse. People are correct to advise you that the teacher has no discretion in the matter and must report that she believes you are at risk. It's possible that the interventions that follow will provide the support you need and offer you other possibilities than taking your own life. I don't think anyone should try to discount that opportunity for you. The outcome may not be the solution to your problems, but you'll never know if you don't try.

If you have the impulse to trust the teacher then it might be worth talking to her. Even if it doesn't ultimately prove to be helpful, it's not like they're going to straight-jacket you and throw you in a psych ward...they'll bring in people to help with the kinds of pain and anxiety you're struggling with. I wish for you, and for me and for everyone here that a living solution would displace the terminal solution we're all considering. It may not occur for many of us, but I feel we should celebrate the outcome for those who do.

Good luck, whatever you decide Lospollos.

p.s. I am myself a secondary teacher and I'm willing to discuss the matter with you one to one if you like (my kik account name is: omw2ctb)

Good post. I do agree.

Not sure why you wrote it as if it is a letter though :haha:
 
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