Taking SN on Monday

[shadow999]

Life just isn't the same anymore since my psychosis. I don't have it anymore but it destroyed my life when it was there. I'm ready to end this endless suffering. I have 100 g from DMC. I'm not testing it. I'll put a photo of the bag in the post.
I'm a little worried about the pain and discomfort that may come when taking it, and I feel pretty bad about leaving everybody in my life behind. If I had a button that could end my life I would press it though, I've become so numb, I have no more emotions. Can't feel love and joy anymore. The SN is like pressing the button IMO.

My protocol:
I'm taking the stuff early so I'm just going to fast when I sleep, skept breakfast etc.
I'm taking 25g of this stuff. I have an otc painkiller which I'm planning on taking the double dose of, it's the one that starts with a p. I have olanzapine for an AE but it makes me extremely restless and uncomfortable when I take it so I was planning on skipping that. I have an antacid but I wasn't going to take it. I don't have a benzo or anything for the tachycardia.

Wish me luck. I'll be posting a GBT on Monday when I take the stuff as I don't want to feel 100% alone when I take it.

Thanks for reading and best wishes.

Edit: oh yeah the stuff is so hard but it feels like I can break it up with my hands...using a teaspoon to measure it so hopefully I will be able to scoop it alright. There is a thread here with weight and mass conversion table for SN.

 

[eashanm]

Good Luck!

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes, whatever your decision when the time comes.

 

[Msvr]

I see that you haven't opened the package yet. The only reason it's so hard is because there is another vacuum sealed package inside. One you open that it'll crumble apart pretty easy

 

[Davey40210]

Best wishes whatever you decide

 

[Kurai]

Wishing you good luck and peace

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck! I hope u find peace!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering, best wishes.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

I wish you the best of luck. I hope it goes smoothly.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Hey, Twinning! :) I wish you luck, Hope you find peace and it goes smoothly

 

[Tima]

Good luck

 

[depthss]

Good luck

 

[athiestjoe]

I hope you find lots of serenity & peace.

 

[Theresnoescape]

Good luck, I hope you find peace.

 

[LifeQuitter]

The pictures contain a lot of information.

 

[maynoname]

I really hope you find peace.

 

[SNastablesalt]

Wishing you safe travels on your bus <3

 

[ForestGhost]

I have seen you around and you seem like a kind person. Your pain is very undeserved and I wish the best for you whatever you decide to do.

I do have a question that I hope is not too personal or insensitive, and please ignore it if it is. Did you in some ways feel better during your psychosis than you do now? I suffered from some very crazy delusions the past few years, not psychosis I would say, but the situation was bad enough to mess with my life quite a bit. Still, I was significantly happier then than I am now even though I "recovered". Full-on psychosis is probably a much more distressing experience, so you might feel totally differently, but I have seen a few other cases of people with similar issues ostensibly getting better and then soon after CTB.

Sending you lots of peace and love

 

[shadow999]

I have seen you around and you seem like a kind person. Your pain is very undeserved and I wish the best for you whatever you decide to do.

I do have a question that I hope is not too personal or insensitive, and please ignore it if it is. Did you in some ways feel better during your psychosis than you do now? I suffered from some very crazy delusions the past few years, not psychosis I would say, but the situation was bad enough to mess with my life quite a bit. Still, I was significantly happier then than I am now even though I "recovered". Full-on psychosis is probably a much more distressing experience, so you might feel totally differently, but I have seen a few other cases of people with similar issues ostensibly getting better and then soon after CTB.

Sending you lots of peace and love

I definitely felt better when I had psychosis than I do since I have recovered. I was still having emotions, joy sadness etc. It wasn't that distressing to go through it's distressing to reflect upon. I was completely delusional. Was worried about aliens and stuff like that. I completely destroyed my life during psychosis but I didn't realize what I had done until I "recovered". At least I was having fun during psychosis. Now it's just nothing but suffering and anguish. I'm no longer delusional but I no longer have any life to work with. So many important connections and things got lost. I'm ready to to.

thanks for reading and responding <3

 

[stopmesuffering]

Are you allowed to PM where you got it?

 

[shadow999]

Are you allowed to PM where you got it?

Yeah you wanna know? I think I've mentioned it in some other posts.

 

[stopmesuffering]

I don't seem to be allowed to access your other posts,

 

[ForestGhost]

I definitely felt better when I had psychosis than I do since I have recovered. I was still having emotions, joy sadness etc. It wasn't that distressing to go through it's distressing to reflect upon. I was completely delusional. Was worried about aliens and stuff like that. I completely destroyed my life during psychosis but I didn't realize what I had done until I "recovered". At least I was having fun during psychosis. Now it's just nothing but suffering and anguish. I'm no longer delusional but I no longer have any life to work with. So many important connections and things got lost. I'm ready to to.

thanks for reading and responding <3

Thanks for the response. I think we are pretty similar then. I also got SN recently and won't be too far behind you.

 

[NoPoint280491]

Hey, Twinning! :) I wish you luck, Hope you find peace and it goes smoothly
View attachment 151314

The disclaimer is killing me. Excuse the pun

I definitely felt better when I had psychosis than I do since I have recovered. I was still having emotions, joy sadness etc. It wasn't that distressing to go through it's distressing to reflect upon. I was completely delusional. Was worried about aliens and stuff like that. I completely destroyed my life during psychosis but I didn't realize what I had done until I "recovered". At least I was having fun during psychosis. Now it's just nothing but suffering and anguish. I'm no longer delusional but I no longer have any life to work with. So many important connections and things got lost. I'm ready to to.

thanks for reading and responding <3

So so real.

I definitely felt better when I had psychosis than I do since I have recovered. I was still having emotions, joy sadness etc. It wasn't that distressing to go through it's distressing to reflect upon. I was completely delusional. Was worried about aliens and stuff like that. I completely destroyed my life during psychosis but I didn't realize what I had done until I "recovered". At least I was having fun during psychosis. Now it's just nothing but suffering and anguish. I'm no longer delusional but I no longer have any life to work with. So many important connections and things got lost. I'm ready to to.

thanks for reading and responding <3

So so real.

I definitely felt better when I had psychosis than I do since I have recovered. I was still having emotions, joy sadness etc. It wasn't that distressing to go through it's distressing to reflect upon. I was completely delusional. Was worried about aliens and stuff like that. I completely destroyed my life during psychosis but I didn't realize what I had done until I "recovered". At least I was having fun during psychosis. Now it's just nothing but suffering and anguish. I'm no longer delusional but I no longer have any life to work with. So many important connections and things got lost. I'm ready to to.

thanks for reading and responding <3

So so real.

 

[cali22♡]

I wish you all the best in your Journey

<3

 

[heavyeyes]

Goodluck and godspeed

Also it goes without saying maybe don't post pictures of what the product packaging looks like just to be safe. Not to mention be cautious about who you give out sources to and don't overshare. It's already hard enough to get SN as it is and the removal of any reputable source makes it even more so