Etherealdignity333

Etherealdignity333

Ad Astra
Jul 21, 2019
172
Came to New Hampshire to hike and enjoy some scenery before I bit the dust.

Now I'm here and it's just a reminder of everything I lost since I was last here, and I can't seem to do anything.

All I want to do is get home and get on with it.

Sick of this. I don't even care if it hurts anymore. It can't be more pain than living.
 
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Laststop

Laststop

Experienced
Jul 9, 2019
243
Came to New Hampshire to hike and enjoy some scenery before I bit the dust.

Now I'm here and it's just a reminder of everything I lost since I was last here, and I can't seem to do anything.

All I want to do is get home and get on with it.

Sick of this. I don't even care if it hurts anymore. It can't be more pain than living.
I know exactly how you feel.
 
Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Came to New Hampshire to hike and enjoy some scenery before I bit the dust.

Now I'm here and it's just a reminder of everything I lost since I was last here, and I can't seem to do anything.

All I want to do is get home and get on with it.

Sick of this. I don't even care if it hurts anymore. It can't be more pain than living.
I am so sorry for your pain brother. Taking that trip down memory lane must be so hard for, I did something similar a few weeks ago and it cut me open and I feel you to the core my friend.
I hope you can find some peace brother and that you can find a way to bring some light to your life.
DBD
 
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DreamCatcher

DreamCatcher

Still searching
Jun 18, 2019
221
I wondered about that myself, if I went back now to the place I loved would I find peace there or just faded memories of a happy past I can't get back to.

I'm still hopeful to go back there again, but hearing that result from you makes me realize that it probably won't be anything like I expect.

It's sad.
 
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HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Yeah, visiting old places can mess you up. In January, I went to Los Angeles, where I grew I the first 25 years of my life thinking it'd remind me of fun youthful memories...which it did, but I also had thee worst panic attacks and memories I've experienced in a long time. It messed up my mind so much because I have changed since I lived in L.A and I started having an identity crisis. "Do I miss my Los Angeles wild, city girl self, or do I prefer my calmer, suburban self?"

I don't even care to have an identity anymore.
 
Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
219
I get your feeling about just wanting to get on with CTB. I live alone and I've been unemployed with absolutely no responsibilities or purpose for months. I have enough money to go and do something like a holiday, drugs, hookers, anything that's not ridiculously expensive. But I was laying on my bed after a couple of weeks of doing absolutely shit all and not even seeing my friends, and I just realised I don't want to do anything.

It is pretty comforting and I hope you can find the same kind of comfort in it. When you literally don't want to do anything, ever, you're not really losing anything by CTB.
 

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