Support networks....do they help?

[shampoo sniffer]

I am very socially isolated. I've never had friends. I was always the child in the playground standing by herself. I'm autistic, so I suck at socialising.

Maybe there is hope for me if I could form some real human connections. I'm clutching at straws here.

 

[BradGuy123]

I'm new here, but I like the community I've found here. Do you have hobbies or interests like arts/crafts, board games, sci fi TV shows etc.? You might be able to find an in-person community with people with similar interests.

 

[ma0]

Well, just from my experience, I've made several friends and connections on this forum, some of which have long since made their way onto Discord. I'd say it's pretty easy to make friends here, and anyone you simply reach out to would probably be more than willing to have a conversation.

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely people you might wanna avoid on here, but apart from that I've found this place a great source of actually talking to people, lol

 

[4Icarus]

One autistic person to another - my suppost system is also pretty sparse. I've had several groups fall apart on me and that made me explode and fuck up some other ones.

B U T

The few actual friends I do have, I met in discord servers for one specific game I really, really like. They may not stick around forever but it's good to have the connections while you do.
Bradguy's got the right idea, certain discord servers are a good spot to start because you can meet other autistic people who also suck at socializing. I'd recommend setting up like reminders for yourself to check in with them, though, if you don't think you'll be able to haunt the vc like I used to.
Also, be very, very careful about who you give certain personal details to and if someone tries to talk shit about other users to you in dms or makes you really uncomfy in dms, uh, run. Anything that isn't "I don't feel comfortable talking about this, goodbye" will probably be used against you in some way.

 

[amerie]

I've said this on someone else's post, but what I'd recommend is reading books on improv and comedic timing and forcing yourself to go out and talk to people and join clubs in real life where you can bond with others who have similar interests. A lot of community colleges and employment centers have free socialization courses and if it's really the thing you need to keep you alive then you can join a theatre or improv club.

I'm going to be honest, you'll likely suck at first, get weird looks and half smiles, people will tell you to fuck off sometimes, or pretend you don't exist, you'll get ghosted and feel like shit and breakdown and cry and scream in frustration about why it's so hard, and how unfair it is that you were born autistic. But socializing is such an important skill so if you want to recover and have friends around you then it is so, so worth everything.

Pretty soon, you'll get the hang of it, and people won't even notice you're autistic unless you tell them or they're autistic as well. It's possible, autism affects millions of people, probably 1-2 billion are walking around undiagnosed and don't even know it because they forced themsleves to lock in and socialize and they mask well, the loud minority of people saying it's not possible are just the ones who know they're autistic.

Spoiler: Only read this if you really, REALLY want friends

people online claim that they "enjoy being alone" or that they've "accepted having no friends", but the truth of the matter is, when you finally connect with people after so many years of feeling alone, you'll cry tears of joy and pain because you're finally feeling what you've missed out on for years, and also feel anger and grief for the little you that was robbed of it because of this disorder. You're going to be so thankful that you have friends when you're breaking down and can call someone up to get pizza and watch movies at 2am, have little cute hangouts, have people think of you, and getting voted for during work awards. While, yes, you should find your OWN validation, that's easy to say when you have an abundance of people who genuinely appreciate your presence. For a gooner, you can only be your own best friend for so long, we NEED people to survive. This is why so many autistic people are suicidal.

Pretty privilege also plays a huge role in confidence and people wanting to speak with you, a lot of autistic people tend to be "ugly" because they lack knowledge of hierarchy and social norms which includes attractiveness. Invest in surgery or join a vindicta sub that suits your ethnicity and natural features, lose or maybe gain some weight. You can also find a community of other autistic losers in the gym and work up from there to socialize. My personal tip is find a celebrity or celebrities that are your ethnicity and have similar features that are considered "attractive" and emulate their makeup style and mannerisms. A lot of people try to look like different races or literally steal other people's faces when the real key to being hot is being uniquely beautiful and embracing and enhancing your natural features.

 

[fedup1982]

Just one friend helps, especially if you can be open with them about things