Suicide over unrequited love

[trewer]

The only reason I want to kill myself is unrequited love. I'm in love with someone that doesn't want me back. I only want to be with her and no one else, and I can't imagine living my life without her. I'm really insanely in love with her. Honestly the only reason I'm still alive is because I have some hope that she'll change her mind and want to be with me. If I knew there's zero chance I'll ever be with her, like if she got into a serious relationship (she's single now), I'll kill myself. I just can't live with the pain anymore.

 

[whatever101]

I'm going through the same. Not knowing whether I should wait anymore or just kill myself. The worst part is the person I'm in love with is already in another relationship. I don't know if they are serious or not. But if they get married or anything then that's it. I can't imagine a life without her.

 

[Ozzyos]

These things can be extremely difficult. However, if you are young I would seriously rethink.

Consider rearranging your life completely, move to a new city/country or something. This will help you your mind reset and with time you are very likely to get another shot w. someone else who will mean just as much

I'm here for a similar reason btw :). However in my case, time is not really on my side.

 

[Apricity]

Love is dangerous, I wish humans could procreate like other animals instead of having the need for life partners and all the potential pain that love comes with.

I've experienced what you're currently going through, but I was finally able to convince myself to move on. I went through a horrible relationship afterward with a different woman. 4 years of that before I went to prison. Did 6 years there, and it sucked, but not as bad as 6 years stressing over love.

After I got out, I found a job at a retail store, where I met my supervisor. I married her 3 years later. We've been married 3 years now and built a life, and experienced the pain of miscarriages together. She became my reason for existing and now she's leaving me for no good reason, she's just bored i think. Now, I'm going to CTB. I hope she knows it's her fault.

More than half the time, love will hurt you. What a worthless emotion. That being said, unrequited love without a prior deep relationship is not a good enough reason to ctb, imo, but if it is in yours then I wish you luck and peace on your journey.

 

[valentine]

That sounds so painful. I have been in a similar situation recently and I was going to ctb because of it. Love and relationships have brought me so much pain. I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I hope you can find some peace.

 

[trewer]

I'm going through the same. Not knowing whether I should wait anymore or just kill myself. The worst part is the person I'm in love with is already in another relationship. I don't know if they are serious or not. But if they get married or anything then that's it. I can't imagine a life without her.

Honestly I don't know how I would have handled it..

Love is dangerous, I wish humans could procreate like other animals instead of having the need for life partners and all the potential pain that love comes with.

I've experienced what you're currently going through, but I was finally able to convince myself to move on. I went through a horrible relationship afterward with a different woman. 4 years of that before I went to prison. Did 6 years there, and it sucked, but not as bad as 6 years stressing over love.

After I got out, I found a job at a retail store, where I met my supervisor. I married her 3 years later. We've been married 3 years now and built a life, and experienced the pain of miscarriages together. She became my reason for existing and now she's leaving me for no good reason, she's just bored i think. Now, I'm going to CTB. I hope she knows it's her fault.

More than half the time, love will hurt you. What a worthless emotion. That being said, unrequited love without a prior do relationship is not a good enough reason to ctb, imo, but if it is in yours then I wish you luck and peace on your journey.

You can be sure I'm trying the best I can to move on, I just can't do it.

 

[whywere]

HI! After reading your post, I thought that I might try and give you some of what I have learned about myself and hopefully the world over lots of decades on this plant.

Back in 1976, ya a little while ago, I REALLY liked this one gal. I made the mistake of sending her a hand written letter about my feelings towards her. What was her response should one be asking? Well she made a lot of copies of the letter and gave the copies out to basically anyone who wanted a good laugh at my expense. I thought that I might just end it all, it was so embarrassing . Took a step back and finally (LIG) let it go. Hard and painful oh ya .

I mention this part of my life as to what I learned from this experience. I had other girl friends after this situation and life moved on.

I hope and pray that you get a chance with the lady of your dreams, BUT if for some reason it does not work or the situation goes South, PLEASE, I know how darn hard it is!, to take some time to heal watch the lovely white clouds move in the beautiful blue skies and regroup. Life as we all know it comes with so many twists and turns that one never knows when a happen per chance meeting with a lovely lady will turn into something so much more.

I will mention the fact that I am 65, only as a reference point that I have had lots of great and also not so great experiences with women through the decades , BUT one thing that I did learn is that, like the old saying, "it is that there is always something new around the corner of life".

I send you lots of hugs, love and the knowledge that you have family here that loves and cares about you. Take care.

Walter

 

[Apricity]

I'm assuming you've told her how you feel about her. My only suggestion then would be to tell her you can no longer be friends because it's negatively affecting you to be around her. Stop seeing or talking to her and either ask her to block you on social media and phone, or block her and resist the urge to stalk her profile. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her. Give it a few months, and if you still feel like you want to CTB, you'll still have the option.

 

[BrokenLine]

Sorry you're going through this, i think its something we've all gone through, I'm going through something a little similar and different myself.

I'm assuming you've told her how you feel about her. My only suggestion then would be to tell her you can no longer be friends because it's negatively affecting you to be around her. Stop seeing or talking to her and either ask her to block you on social media and phone, or block her and resist the urge to stalk her profile. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her. Give it a few months, and if you still feel like you want to CTB, you'll still have the option.

It'll be tough but this is really good advice.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

The only reason I want to kill myself is unrequited love. I'm in love with someone that doesn't want me back. I only want to be with her and no one else, and I can't imagine living my life without her. I'm really insanely in love with her. Honestly the only reason I'm still alive is because I have some hope that she'll change her mind and want to be with me. If I knew there's zero chance I'll ever be with her, like if she got into a serious relationship (she's single now), I'll kill myself. I just can't live with the pain anymore.

I am struggling with how to say this in a kind way but I don't think there is any other way to put it. There is a fine line between love and obsession. Based on this post its possible that you've crossed it.

I don't know of any girl that wants to be the "end all, be all" of any man or person's world. These kinds of things can lead to idolizing and pedestaling. The person in this position often feels unable to live up to the expectations placed on them which is a turnoff for that person. No one is perfect. This may be the reason that she is not interested (at this time.)

I suspect you may be new to love or nascent in your relationship experiences? If she doesn't want you I promise there will be another girl. Self-harming for someone who is off living their best life without you or worse with someone else is not worth it. You definitely want someone who can reciprocate and give you the love back that you desire.


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The only thing I will exclude from my comments above are married partners who become widows. It can be devastating and sometimes near impossible to come back from that as one's life has changed in an instant and needs to be 100% restructured in order to cope.


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I like most of what @Apricity said. Its best to purge yourself of any thoughts and contact with this girl so you can get over her.

I'm assuming you've told her how you feel about her. My only suggestion then would be to tell her you can no longer be friends because it's negatively affecting you to be around her. Stop seeing or talking to her and either ask her to block you on social media and phone, or block her and resist the urge to stalk her profile. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her. Give it a few months, and if you still feel like you want to CTB, you'll still have the option.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

@Ready2DieToday you're a woman, no?

 

[Originaldon]

I understand the pain I am also going through a similar thing. Although not my only reason it is the final push for me. If you met me you would tell me I had no reason to CTB over a girl. But people don't understand the constant rejection, loneliness and general depression caused by this. My girl was my partner for 6 months who just left me for no reason after telling me she loved me. I do not know your personal circumstances so I will not comment.

 

[Neowise]

I'd say ctb'ing over unrequited love isn't worth it. It may not feel like it now, but it is possible to overcome these feelings. I somewhat agree with @Ready2DieToday that it sounds like a mild obsession. Perhaps you could try to focus on the negative sides of the person, or tell yourself that you don't need her every day. Try to go on dates to distract yourself. But I personally think suicide isn't worth it. Though I have never been in a situation like this before so maybe I know shit.

If any of you wants to talk, you can always drop me a message :)

 

[tiredplant777]

I totally get where you are. I will say that I am still surprised that I have gotten over people I was insanely in love with and because of that I will echo what a few people say here that CTB over unrequited love isn't worth it. I have wanted to CTB because of this too, and I am now over these people. I will say this though, I have learned that the pain caused by unrequited love for me is pain that comes from deep deep trauma. And that trauma ultimately is what I cannot move past. The feelings of worthlessness just never have really gone away for me. I don't know what to do. But I can promise you that unrequited love is a trigger that imo isn't worth it. I'm sorry you feel this pain <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how painful this must be. I cannot personally relate, but I know it can be a hopeless feeling when you have emotions that are not returned. The way I see it, it is hard to ignore strong emotions and we cannot escape from ourselves. If you love something it is just something to lose and cause you pain. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you well.

 

[trewer]

To everyone who says that it's an obsession not love - Do you think I don't realize those feelings aren't healthy? But it's something that is outside of my control, I can't choose how I feel. I try to cope with those feelings as best as I can but sometimes it just feels too much for me. The important thing is I would never ever hurt her. And to everyone who says it's not a good enough reason to CBT - it is for me. Who are you to judge? Do you have any idea how much pain I have to go through every day?

 

[Ozzyos]

To everyone who says that it's an obsession not love - Do you think I don't realize those feelings aren't healthy? But it's something that is outside of my control, I can't choose how I feel. I try to cope with those feelings as best as I can but sometimes it just feels too much for me. The important thing is I would never ever hurt her. And to everyone who says it's not a good enough reason to CBT - it is for me. Who are you to judge? Do you have any idea how much pain I have to go through every day?

The reason ppl are dissuading you from cbt is not because they doubt your pain but because this type of pain can actually pass with time (and if certain steps are taken) and frequently does, even when the situation feels hopeless. How long has it been?

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

the pain will go away. not in an instant, or all at once but at least give it some time before you ctb

 

[Meretlein]

I would cut off contact with her for at least 1 year to see if things get better. Other people are giving great insights in this thread, please consider them before doing anything drastic .

 

[OnlyTheWind]

This is my situation as well, only I never talked to her and blew every chance I had. Too late now.

 

[Dear Agony]

Can't say unrequited love is my only reason, but it is definitely one of my biggest reasons. Can be so painful. I'm really sorry you're going through that.

 

[naiad]

Give yourself time. If you are destined to be together that for sure your paths will cross again many more times or maybe the feeling in you will fade? If both of you are still alive then everything can change. You could destroy her life with your suicide. And I guess that's not what you do when you love someone?
Big hug <3

 

[bettyboop40]

My ex husband spent the last two years of our relationship cheating on me. My mental health hit rock bottom, I was drinking too much and attempted suicide. I still want to CBT but hoping that time will help me get over him and the damage he has done to me. My ended up moving away as I always ended up going back to him. Maybe give yourself time away from this person to see if anything changes.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I feel your desperation. I don't know the entire situation here however I would give it time. It is painful however there was a time I thought I wouldn't get over someone who ruined my life years ago and eventually I did although I'm still suffering depression/PTSD from it and made 2 horrible mistakes I regret right now . I would wait it out a bit and hold off the feelings could ease in time and the pain.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I'm here for a similar reason btw :). However in my case, time is not really on my side.

Love is dangerous, I wish humans could procreate like other animals instead of having the need for life partners

I agree that love is dangerous. But I wonder why people even reproduce knowing how screwed up so many things are--and that they likely can't protect their kids from most of it. Why bring someone into the world to suffer between (or even during) some periods of joy and then ... die? Especially in a world where most of us are prohibited to leave once we're here.

My ex husband spent the last two years of our relationship cheating on me. My mental health hit rock bottom

Infidelity can ruin a life. And the person cheated on just has to struggle to find a way to deal with the effects. Isn't it funny how others can discard us when they're bored... but we can't decide to leave ourselves?

Who are you to judge?

I get it that people are trying to help you, but I agree with you. It doesn't matter that a lot of other people have dealt with or are dealing with failed relationships. If we were free beings, WE and only we would be entitled to decide whether or not we want to endure pain. Everyone has advice about general pain. But only we sit with our own pain night-after-night that can stretch, for some of us, into an entire lifetime. Where are the advisers, the counsellors then? Certainly not there with us. We have to do the hard work alone.

Hope something good happens for you soon.

 

[whatever101]

I'm going through the same. Not knowing whether I should wait anymore or just kill myself. The worst part is the person I'm in love with is already in another relationship. I don't know if they are serious or not. But if they get married or anything then that's it. I can't imagine a life without her.

Also I was in relationship with her for 2 years. So I've experienced the love and now it's just impossible for me to live without her

 

[Lalala]

One of my reasons is the same. Been with her for 11 years, thought it was all good, she's been cheating for a month with someone from work. Its over now but the uncertainty is horrible, she doesn't know if she wants to continue or not, but for me its throwing away a marriage why do this?

I want to make it work I love her and really don't see myself without her but if it doesn't I'll CTB, always have thoughts of suicide over various things anyway this just pushes me further in that direction. It's why I gave myself a month
Will add I've not told her I would ctb if it doesn't work. Don't want to be a manipulate person

 

[Originaldon]

Your reasons are your reasons. I do find it interesting that people advise it isn't worth it while also stating the same circumstance has caused or is rooted in bad trauma, and that they are also on this forum….

I believe it more to be this trauma and other feelings or circumstances around this that is the true reason.

It is the same for me. Gave everything to a girl who threw it all away. I am now left broken, hopeless and in utter depression. The loneliness and misery is the reason to CTB. Not the girl. The loss of her is simply a final push and an added weight to my mind of which I cannot cope. There is only so many times someone can be rejected and left alone to deal with the trauma and misery.

 

[Lalala]

Your reasons are your reasons. I do find it interesting that people advise it isn't worth it while also stating the same circumstance has caused or is rooted in bad trauma, and that they are also on this forum….

I believe it more to be this trauma and other feelings or circumstances around this that is the true reason.

It is the same for me. Gave everything to a girl who threw it all away. I am now left broken, hopeless and in utter depression. The loneliness and misery is the reason to CTB. Not the girl. The loss of her is simply a final push and an added weight to my mind of which I cannot cope. There is only so many times someone can be rejected and left alone to deal with the trauma and misery.

Exactly. It's why, I'd never tell anyone in real life my thoughts because you know they would be like plenty more fish in sea etc . When it's not about that.

 

[Jumping_realms]

"Snoop said this in '94:" ...