Story Suicide over a breakup

[toxicfox]

Whatever your decision, I know you will make it based on long term and not short term. What I mean is, if you put enough thought into something, and after that prolonged process you come to a conclusion, you know yourself better than anyone. If you are 100% sure the rest of your life you will never overcome this, well, what other choice do we have but to accept it

 

[woxihuanni]

You have not lost someone irreplaceable, or someone who deserves to be described as such. Otherwise, they'd still be around.

Partners can be irreplaceable for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with if they have a 'good' personality. How does the second part follow, exactly? Why is it IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to deserve to be dumped? I think the last thing to judge a partner's eligibility by is what they feel about me. It only becomes relevant if they are eligible for me in the first place.

Also I'm sorry but a lot of this empowerment thing should be replaced by improving yourself in the direction your partner keeps asking you to. People have rights over their partners, including expecting a level of grooming, intellectual effort, etc. My partner never asked me to change a thing, I only wish I knew what they would wish. If it did not interfere with my integrity, I'd gladly do it.

 

[LastFlowers]

Partners can be irreplaceable for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with if they have a 'good' personality. How does the second part follow, exactly? Why is it IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to deserve to be dumped? I think the last thing to judge a partner's eligibility by is what they feel about me. It only becomes relevant if they are eligible for me in the first place.

Also I'm sorry but a lot of this empowerment thing should be replaced by improving yourself in the direction your partner keeps asking you to. People have rights over their partners, including expecting a level of grooming, intellectual effort, etc. My partner never asked me to change a thing, I only wish I knew what they would wish. If it did not interfere with my integrity, I'd gladly do it.

I'm not understanding what you're saying.
I don't think I ever said the phrase "good personality". ??
But going off of that, what else is irreplaceable besides who the person is?
Money, looks, ?? Seems like the personality would be the hardest to replace out of anything.
Why would anyone want someone with a personality that was no good? Or someone who didn't want them?
It's basic common sense and self respect. Which is harder to see in the early days of breakup, one reason as to why I suggested waiting.
There was a lot more context to what I was saying than that one quote.

If OP is to blame for the relationship ending, then I don't know why they would word it as CTB over a breakup. If I was responsible for the break-up, I wouldn't be killling myself because of the break-up itself but because of any long standing issues within myself that caused it. Which is not exclusive to being a couple.
I was also not going to assume that OP was a wretched partner. They seem to be suffering, if it was as simple as changing little things for their partner, I doubt they would be here.

I do not agree that partners have any rights over one another. People are individuals. We are not living in the dark ages.
I change for no one but myself.
If changes I want happen to mirror what other people want, or what society wants, that's more of a coincidence than causation.
I was giving my stance and advice on the topic, some of which can only be based on my own standards. I admitted as much in my original response.
They just happen to be different than yours. I wasn't trying to agitate anyone. Sorry if I misunderstood what you were trying to say, I'm still not sure I have.

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm not understanding what you're saying.
I don't think I ever said the phrase "good personality". ??
But going off of that, what else is irreplaceable besides who the person is?
Money, looks, ?? Seems like the personality would be the hardest to replace out of anything.
Why would anyone want someone with a personality that was no good? Or someone who didn't want them?
It's basic common sense and self respect. Which is harder to see in the early days of breakup, one reason as to why I suggested waiting.
There was a lot more context to what I was saying than that one quote.

If OP is to blame for the relationship ending, then I don't know why they would word it as CTB over a breakup. If I was responsible for the break-up, I wouldn't be killling myself because of the break-up itself but because of any long standing issues within myself that caused it. Which is not exclusive to being a couple.
I was also not going to assume that OP was a wretched partner. They seem to be suffering, if it was as simple as changing little things for their partner, I doubt they would be here.

I do not agree that partners have any rights over one another. People are individuals. We are not living in the dark ages.
I change for no one but myself.
If changes I want happen to mirror what other people want, or what society wants, that's more of a coincidence than causation.
I was giving my stance and advice on the topic, some of which can only be based on my own standards. I admitted as much in my original response.
They just happen to be different than yours. I wasn't trying to agitate anyone. Sorry if I misunderstood what you were trying to say, I'm still not sure I have.

No need to apologise. We apparently have a completely different view of what relationship, rights, personality, self-respect, etc. even mean. Couldn't be more different if we lived in different universes.

If I hadn't gone with the modern, society-stamped definition of those things against my deeper beliefs, I wouldn't have a bottle of SN sitting around now. Sigh.

 

[Mr M]

Yes, I don't want to be unsupportive but break-ups are one of those things I do not think should be given so much weight

I think we should understand that each one of us has our own triggers. For some are breakups, for others are financial crisis or health issues, physical appearance, loneliness, guilt, and so on, and these are all based on our own personal history and childhood traumas. I think we are not entitled to say what is a valid reason to want to ctb but rather be supportive and listen. "Sane" people would say there are no valid reasons at all too ctb.

But of course we don't need to feel guilty about it. It is not about reasons but how we experience those events in our lives.

I have gone through many breakups. It doesn't matter how experienced I am, it doesn't matter that I know that eventually I'll meet someone else, as I have many times, once I'm in the downspiral of depression and the desire to ctb I can't just reason my way out of it. Surrendering to it is the only thing that seems to work sometimes.

It is one of those pains that usually is truly temporary.

Which pains are not truly temporary?