selfhater
Experienced
- Mar 1, 2020
- 222
hey..umm..this is my first post and english isn't my first language so pardon me if there's mistakes
i wanted to write a suicide note cuz i carry alot of pain and words with me for years that i don't want to take them with me when i do it:( they r so heavy and so painful to keep them inside me so i want to let it out but do u think it's too much if i left many notes? is there a way to make sure my notes reach the ppl i want them to know? i'm worried and sure my horrible family will lie to people about my suicide and make something up and throw my notes away and pretend nothing happened and i'm worried that they gonna lie to people that they were a helpful and supportive family to me and stuff when they were the opposite and idk i have many thoughts that make me worried:( i'm also struggling to write one sentence in my note it's so hard i might just not write anything cuz everyone doesn't care they know i'm fcked up and suffering but they ignore me so why would they care about my notes or anything, i feel there is no single word can describe what i'm going thru and the unimaginable pain and horror i have so i either express it right or not write something at all
i'm so so so anxious and i already feel cold and my heart beating fast for writing this and then have people talk to me and read it then reply to me...i know i'm pathetic
are u gonna write a note? if no, why? "if it's okay to ask"
i wanted to write a suicide note cuz i carry alot of pain and words with me for years that i don't want to take them with me when i do it:( they r so heavy and so painful to keep them inside me so i want to let it out but do u think it's too much if i left many notes? is there a way to make sure my notes reach the ppl i want them to know? i'm worried and sure my horrible family will lie to people about my suicide and make something up and throw my notes away and pretend nothing happened and i'm worried that they gonna lie to people that they were a helpful and supportive family to me and stuff when they were the opposite and idk i have many thoughts that make me worried:( i'm also struggling to write one sentence in my note it's so hard i might just not write anything cuz everyone doesn't care they know i'm fcked up and suffering but they ignore me so why would they care about my notes or anything, i feel there is no single word can describe what i'm going thru and the unimaginable pain and horror i have so i either express it right or not write something at all
i'm so so so anxious and i already feel cold and my heart beating fast for writing this and then have people talk to me and read it then reply to me...i know i'm pathetic
are u gonna write a note? if no, why? "if it's okay to ask"