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Honey0TU

Honey0TU

what doesnt kill you, makes you wish you were dead
Mar 24, 2020
9
i have past attempts but ive never made an official note. what should i write?
in the past, ive only said basics like "im sorry for disappointing you" but those are just lazy
 
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mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
I would just apologize for the hurt caused and say "I love you".
 
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watereyes

watereyes

les malheurs de lizzie
Mar 27, 2020
738
Say that you love your family, even if its not true. They're gonna have to handle this anyway so you might aswell make it easier for them.
 
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Shoopie

Shoopie

Member
May 31, 2020
41
It all depends really. If I do decide to go I'll write individual notes to the few people closest to me. The people that truly care in my life will likely appreciate and treasure my last communication with them, but maybe I'm wrong *shrugs*
 
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FluffyDove

FluffyDove

Experienced
May 11, 2020
218
Say that you love your family, even if its not true. They're gonna have to handle this anyway so you might aswell make it easier for them.
I'll be leaving a big "fuck you" to my "family" lol.
 
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Philosykos

Philosykos

Student
May 30, 2020
196
Thinking of a note always reminds me of this early Grey's Anatomy episode. It was about a terminal patient who asked his doctor to tape his goodbyes to all the people he wants to say farewell to. She finds it really sweet and starts the camera but then the dude starts cursing all the people who had done him wrong in the past in the most awful ways. After a while, the doctor stops the tape and asks if that's really how he wants to be remembered and he says that all his life, all these people overlooked him, did not consider how their actions hurt him and no one ever knew how he truly felt. This was his chance to finally be heard.

When someone dies, a lot of people wish they could have told them something they never did or ponder their last words to the deceased. With suicide in particular a lot of the people you leave behind will wonder about these things and your last words to them as well. My advice would be what I have been advised by the lovely GoodPersonEffed the other day: write from the heart. Write what you want to say, what you have always wanted to say but never dared to. Write to comfort those who you think will be hit hardest by your death. Those who you worry will be the most devastated about it. But most importantly: write the truth.

Those who ctb get to choose their last words to any- and everyone, many don't get that luxury. What you write is up to you; it can be short, long, apologetic or angry. Sad or happy, reassuring or accusing. It's your choice. Just be sure that what you write is what you want people to remember as your last words as they will reverberate long after the final bell has been struck.
 
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Velia

Velia

Member
Mar 1, 2019
14
I know that if i wrote a note i'd just want to tell my mother that I love her and that it wasn't her fault
 
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N

neveraskedforthis

Member
May 16, 2020
24
I would write down that nobody should feel guilty for my death, that's really all. I don't think i owe anybody a long explanation.
 
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D

deadmalk

Member
Nov 25, 2019
51
I have a notebook dedicated to letters to family/very close friends that I continually add (multiple letters) so they can possibly understand why I made the choice (when it happens). I even have some for my grandson, who is 5. I have been pretty open about the possibility of CTB'ing with my family- only so they understand why I am trying to spend quality with them. I know it may not be the most orthodox way, but if you know my story, you may hopefully understand.
 
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ugly_loser2008

ugly_loser2008

Member
Jul 30, 2018
73
i debated whether to leave a note or not but i decided i will leave a note that doesn't necesarily explain why im killing myself. i;ve tried nots taht explain but they sound so stupid and end up bein a list of things i cant stand about myself, people already know i hate myself and most know im looking to commit suicide. mostly im telling how to dipose of my body, everything been pre-arraged and info. bout life insurance - i want my buddy go get the money as hes been a great support and he will be cleaning up my place and will be disposing of my ashes.
 
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Iamamistake

Iamamistake

Member
Jun 2, 2020
35
Sometimes, I feel that there's so much that can't be enclosed within a suicide note. Today, I was at such a frustration point that I just felt like leaving a vague note only for the sake that it's suicide, not murder. I find it extremely hard to write every feeling and experience~ 18 years of abuse and loneliness~ that's leading me towards ctb. I, once, started writing a detailed one, but tore it up~ it seemed to be making my feelings incomplete.
I don't find anything wrong with lazy notes, after all there's no obligation to owe an explanation to those who made our lives hell.
As for the ppl, who cared, individual notes sound like such a great idea.
 
Notwinnernotawin

Notwinnernotawin

Specialist
Apr 4, 2020
341
I wrote on my note to my mom that I love her very much. I thanked her for being the best mom in the world and apologized for every time I didn't recognize that. I also wrote how I tried my best, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I asked her to take good care of herself and our cat, and to not get sad when she remember me, instead think about the good moments that we've had.
 
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foreverlikethestars

foreverlikethestars

Member
Jun 23, 2020
79
I just wrote about what what brought this upon myself and what i'd like to see come out of it. I talked a lot about how much a local youth center has helped me and how i'd like to see more places like it
 
mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
118
Im probably just going to fold a bunch of paper/oragami butterflys for anyone who comes to my funeral to hold onto in my memory. Though im guessing the only people who will keep the butterflies are my parents, aunt, and uncle. Im going to fold like 20 or 30 and maybe even color them and stuff, with their name(s) on them and a couple words on the wings that define what I loved about them. For example, my moms is going to be yellow and some grey, and I'll write vibrant on one wing, and optomistic on the other. Anyhow thats just my approach to making a "note" that isnt too hard to keep reading.
 
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all_pointless

all_pointless

Member
Jul 2, 2018
63
Hopefully if I don't go out on impulse a don't look for me you wouldn't find me on my bed.
 
F

fatmanatee

Member
May 21, 2020
16
I see some saying they don't owe anyone explanation. I think for me it's that there really isn't anybody that would want an explanation.
The end is pretty near here. I am considering writing a delayed email to my friend that I have hurt to apologize. Honestly, I think it would be best to not bother anybody with it. I've moved away and I doubt anybody would find out let alone care.
 

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