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Enga

Member
May 27, 2024
8
But permanent solution is obviously better than temporary one, because it's permanent.
I mean, for example you can use a duct tape on a leak in your tubing, but you would need to apply it every day because it can't hold it for long. Or, you could just change the tubing and problem is solved forever.
 
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hadenough58

Looking for Understanding
Mar 7, 2024
110
There is certainly some truth to the saying and it reinforces that suicide it not something to be rushed into in an emotional moment.
But it also devalues that it is an option as some times it really is the only answer to the problem as far from being temporary the problem is insurmountable.
 
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surroundedbydemons

surroundedbydemons

Specialist
Mar 6, 2024
339
Even if a problem is temporary... so what?
Even if a solution is permanent... so what?
The saying does not propose a better solution to a problem.
 
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todiefor

todiefor

I hope I made some +ve difference in ppl’s lives
Jun 24, 2023
408
Sorry about the rambling below. In short, it is a devastatingly isolating thing to hear when you are already so down. Many problems, physical or mental are permanent or sufficiently permanent. Even if not permanent, what really matters is how you feel and what you believe. The statement is very dismissive on many levels. I do however, like to think people do mean well but simply lack the understanding of the depth of despair that others can be in, so I try to not judge them. Perhaps they just didn't know what to say. We are all just flawed and limited bipedal apes.

Speaking as someone who hasn't been suicidal for most of their life, I think people who have not been suicidal just simply cannot appreciate the depth of suffering of someone who wants to end their life, it's really a very next level thing, the way it consumes everything. My life has gone from normal to totally dysfunctional. I will admit I don't think I fully understood it before it happened to me.

I do think some people really just are putting their own feelings first when they say something like this, while other times they really just don't know what to say.

mental health issues are horrific and so poorly understood and so poorly supported. On top of everything you have to deal with the loneliness of being isolated in your own suicidality. No one can truly experience anyone else's pain, and a statement like that is like a slap in the face because it shows that lack of understanding, making you feel even more alone in your despair.

Sometimes I wish someone can just experience it with me, only for a minute, like the human soup of experiences, perhaps then we can all find support and solace in each others understanding, rather than judgement.
 
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Faded For Her

Member
May 30, 2024
9
The saying conveniently omits the true nature of said problems; A plethora - not one - of temporary problems that keep coming back unless the solution is a permanent one, yes.
 
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lostmeaning

lostmeaning

Member
May 25, 2023
40
With chronic incurable pain that ruins my ability to support myself or have any dreams, it is now undoubtedly a solution to a permanent problem
 
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