Help Suicide inc. pets

[Lost_the_will2_live]

Hi I'm new here but looking to be on here for a month or so until my time to CBT.
I have been unwell with clinical depression for over 10 years and have tried many different things to help me with no avail.

I have also had two previous suicide attempts, one in which the police found me and one in which my father found me. Both were shit attempts.

5 years ago my mother got me my first little dog to show me my worth and that I was needed in life and had a purpose to the dog and it worked because she was my absolute everything, now I have three of the dogs and they are my children.

BUT..... I still want to die. They have kept me alive so far and the only reasons I haven't had any suicide attempts since I got them is it gives me the fear of them being without me in life.

I have looked up many ways to euthanise them peacefully before I take my own life but I am in the UK and cannot purchase any veterinary medicine for this.

has anyone on here thought about their pets and how they will be after you CBT? I don't want them left with just anyone and I don't think I have the heart to take them with me in ctb so I'm driving myself mad here. They are my angels but I am not happy here and won't be - ever!!

I'm such an animal lover and I don't have the heart to hurt them so euthanising them was my only option really which I can't even do! I'm Fuking useless at everything.

 

[Abaigh]

I honestly think that you should give the dogs away to someone else. Sorry if this isn't a good response.

 

[Oyoy]

It's a touchy subject. One that will get a heated response. Some will say don't hurt your pet but I think your pet doesn't mean sqwat compared to your life. I am not pro life. I also am obsessed with death to escape my problems. Can't we talk about the obsession and tell each other we need each other too.?

 

[Deleted member 14573]

You are responsible for your pet's wellbeing. If you can't take care of them you should give them to someone who can. Don't euthanise them if they're not sick, they don't want to die :(

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

You are responsible for your pet's wellbeing. If you can't take care of them you should give them to someone who can. Don't euthanise them if they're not sick, they don't want to die :(

No animal wants to die, but when you happen to be the dominant species, you kill less dominant animals who don't want to die for food and research.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

No animal wants to die, but when you happen to be the dominant species, you kill less dominant animals who don't want to die for food and research.

This is not a case of food or research. OP needs to do the right thing.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

This is not a case of food or research. OP needs to do the right thing.

What the "right" thing is is all a matter of perspective

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

I know they don't want to die!! It's eating me inside. I'm not cruel to them they are spoiled and looked after better than any dogs I know. I just hate thinking about them here without me. But maybe it's my conscious being telling me that I don't really want to ctb? I don't know anymore....what I do know for certain is though that I hate my life and can't see that changing

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

I know they don't want to die!! It's eating me inside. I'm not cruel to them they are spoiled and looked after better than any dogs I know. I just hate thinking about them here without me. But maybe it's my conscious being telling me that I don't really want to ctb? I don't know anymore....what I do know for certain is though that I hate my life and can't see that changing

In all seriousness though, why do you hate your life? What happened? And I'm sorry I talked badly about animals and stuff. You seem like a good person and I feel bad for you

 

[autumnal]

Please don't euthanase your pets. No matter how much people think their pets would be devastated without them around, they almost always adapt to new surroundings and they never deserve to die as a byproduct of human suicide

Semi-related, as I suggest in another post:

If it would be too upsetting (or suspicious) for you to totally surrender your pets before suicide, but you also don't want to risk them starving or escaping if you suicide with them in the house, then perhaps you could place them into a boarding kennels or cattery for a few days either side of your attempt date?​

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You can pretend to the staff that you're going on holiday (or moving house, or fumigating), and make sure you leave both your own contact details and also the contact details for an emergency contact. That way, if you suicide and the staff can't contact you at the end of the stay, your emergency contact will be reached instead. That person doesn't have to know about your suicide plans, they just have to be someone you know will either take care of your pet in your absence/death or help rehome your pet in accordance with what your wishes would be. Or you could further explain this in a note that you leave addressed to that person.​

​

Obviously this requires a little bit of money for the boarding fees, but if you can afford this then it's surely a worthwhile expense. Plus it means your pet won't witness your death, if that's something you think would traumatise them. It also means there is no risk of permanently surrendering your pet and then backing out and being unable to recover them, which I can imagine would feel absolutely devastating.​

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Hope this idea is useful​

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

In all seriousness though, why do you hate your life? What happened? And I'm sorry I talked badly about animals and stuff. You seem like a good person and I feel bad for you

I appreciate your apology. I understand we all have our struggles. Thank you

well I don't want to bore you with all my issues but I have not been happy with life for a long time. Was bullied badly at school which effected me in later life , also got stalked and assaulted which made me have anxiety now along with my clinical depression.

I can't recall the last time I was genuinely happy and to me that's really sad. I lost my gran recently and she was very close to me, loved her very much. My mum has a big operation on her heart coming up inApril and if she doesn't come through that I will definitely kill myself no doubt about it.

makes me shit myself thinking I will be here on my own without my parents and no one else one day and I don't want that day to come. I also will lose my job pretty soon because of mysickness absence, I am off a lot due to my MH and they can't sustain that at my work place.

my dogs are all I have at the moment that is anything close to giving me love and a smile on a day.

Please don't euthanase your pets. No matter how much people think their pets would be devastated without them around, they almost always adapt to new surroundings and they never deserve to die as a byproduct of human suicide

Semi-related, as I suggest in another post:

If it would be too upsetting (or suspicious) for you to totally surrender your pets before suicide, but you also don't want to risk them starving or escaping if you suicide with them in the house, then perhaps you could place them into a boarding kennels or cattery for a few days either side of your attempt date?

You can pretend to the staff that you're going on holiday (or moving house, or fumigating), and make sure you leave both your own contact details and also the contact details for an emergency contact. That way, if you suicide and the staff can't contact you at the end of the stay, your emergency contact will be reached instead. That person doesn't have to know about your suicide plans, they just have to be someone you know will either take care of your pet in your absence/death or help rehome your pet in accordance with what your wishes would be. Or you could further explain this in a note that you leave addressed to that person.

Obviously this requires a little bit of money for the boarding fees, but if you can afford this then it's surely a worthwhile expense. Plus it means your pet won't witness your death, if that's something you think would traumatise them. It also means there is no risk of permanently surrendering your pet and then backing out and being unable to recover them, which I can imagine would feel absolutely devastating.

Hope this idea is useful

Thank you so much for this post x

 

[Soul]

Hello @Xaria86. I'm sorry you're contemplating such things. Of course you can't euthanize your sweet dogs — that's natural. They deserve a good home, preferably with you, but if you can't continue you need to make sure they're looked after. Would your mother take them in, since she's the one who brought the first one into your life?

At the same time ... It seems something else is going on, contributing to your feeling suicidal; I can't imagine you adopting two dogs without feeling positive about your lifespan. So why are you thinking about death now?

 

[CatabolicSeed]

You should give them to someone else instead.

 

[CuddleHug]

I just hate thinking about them here without me.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but if that's your main reason for wanting to take them with you on the bus, wouldn't that apply to family and other loved ones as well? Yes, your pets are completely dependent on you for survival, but a life is still a life and their will to live is independent of yours.

I have thought about this a lot, because I have a cat who is one of very few reasons I am still alive. No matter how much I consider it, I can never imagine the best solution for him would be to euthanize him, just as I would never euthanize (or murder, I suppose) my family just because they would be devastated by my death. It doesn't make sense.

Then there's also the not insignificant risk of messing up your CTB attempt and waking up to your pets being gone and the guilt of having caused that.

As for what to do, I think @autumnal came up with a great solution. If you know someone you could ask to petsit your dogs over a weekend or something, that could also work and probably be cheaper.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

This might come over harsh, but DO NOT kill your pets, while you may want to ctb, I'm positive they don't. Your post is very close to my heart because I too have a pampered pooch, and she has been my lifeline. Without her I wouldn't be here. She's 10 now and thought of being without her is too terrible to bear.
Let me put a scenario to you... Let's say you euthanise your pets, and attempt to ctb and fail, how will this make you feel to have to live with that. You could also be charged with animal cruelty.
If you are going to ctb then find a loving home for your dogs, or allow yourself to continue living for them.
They deserve better than to have their lives cut short.

 

[Spinoza]

Hi. I just wrote about it in my presentation.

I have lots of pets under my responsibility. Most of them (disabled), without an eye, without paws, etc, etc. If there is a reason why I am not finished with me, it is that they are dependent on me. They are the animals that nobody wanted ... However, I am trying to find solutions to safeguard their lives, as I would never be selfish to deprive them of a life, just because I don't want to live . Please, try to contact NGOs, kennels, try to see someone who adopts the little ones. I'm still an animal activist, I have contacts a little bit everywhere, maybe I can help you.

 

[Nutshell]

I think the kindest thing you can do for your loved ones is find loving homes for them before you leave, if you are serious.
So many dogs, cats and whatever else get abandoned, yourself as their owner now, that is your responsibility. You love them dearly right? You want them to be happy. I fear that if you left them, surprise abandoned them be it with someone else or even a shelter they may not necessarily be rehomed anyway. They'll end up strays, abandoned or left in a shelter where they will remain or become part of the percentage that is euthanised for over capacity.
If you are serious, make this your final mission. You cannot 'euthanise' a dog because you no longer have the capacity to take care of them.
Sorry if this comes off as blunt, I understand your anguish and very honestly this comes with genuine concern and compassion for yourself and your family.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

I appreciate your apology. I understand we all have our struggles. Thank you

well I don't want to bore you with all my issues but I have not been happy with life for a long time. Was bullied badly at school which effected me in later life , also got stalked and assaulted which made me have anxiety now along with my clinical depression.

I can't recall the last time I was genuinely happy and to me that's really sad. I lost my gran recently and she was very close to me, loved her very much. My mum has a big operation on her heart coming up inApril and if she doesn't come through that I will definitely kill myself no doubt about it.

makes me shit myself thinking I will be here on my own without my parents and no one else one day and I don't want that day to come. I also will lose my job pretty soon because of mysickness absence, I am off a lot due to my MH and they can't sustain that at my work place.

my dogs are all I have at the moment that is anything close to giving me love and a smile on a day.

Thank you so much for this post x

No problem yeah I'm just full of mixed emotions in my extremely stupid and life-destroying situation. That sounds really sad. Your mom, job, personal issues, etc. Why do such bad things happen to such good people. Fuck this wolrd

 

[russian_roulette]

I know exactly how you feel. My dog is also the only reason I'm still alive. She kept me from catching the bus so many times. I hate my strong feelings for her, but she is all I have. That's why I was looking for a new home for her just in case. It feels good that I took care of her in case I ctb. Please don't euthanize them, they already have too few years to live. Maybe I can take it until her natural death and we go together. I wish the best for you!

 

[Oyoy]

What did you decide?

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

What did you decide?

I definitely love them all too much to hurt them in anyway and in my mind euthanising them is still hurting them because they are all under 5 years old and don't deserve that.

I was quite sad reading the reply form a member saying that dogs forget you and would adapt to a new surrounding and owner pretty well. I'd hope they would never forget me if I ctb.

I think I just wanted peoples opinions on the subject because it's not something I have come across before joining this forum.

I also get that people will think it's strange I'm concerned about leaving my dogs but not my loved ones. Tbh I'm numb to my loved ones now, I feel they will be better without me here and I'm just a nuisance to them. Whereas my dogs need me and can't survive without me feeding and walking them daily. My family would get over it and they have each other. I don't want to be alive to watch my parents die. I want to go before them.
Thanks for everyone who replied to my thread and gave different opinion and options.

If I decide to ctb in the next couple of months I will definitely make sure my dogs are looked after and I will leave them whatever money I have left to make sure they get the care they deserve.

x

 

[autumnal]

[...]

I also get that people will think it's strange I'm concerned about leaving my dogs but not my loved ones.

[...]

Not really. Your loved ones are presumably all adults and you don't have that same level of guardianship and responsibility over them that you do with your pets. Or I guess if you had children that would be the other exception.

 

[russian_roulette]

I'm glad with your decision and wanna say they will never forget you, I promise.
Dogs are so thankful and lovable.

 

[Otter]

I definitely love them all too much to hurt them in anyway and in my mind euthanising them is still hurting them because they are all under 5 years old and don't deserve that.

I was quite sad reading the reply form a member saying that dogs forget you and would adapt to a new surrounding and owner pretty well. I'd hope they would never forget me if I ctb.

I think I just wanted peoples opinions on the subject because it's not something I have come across before joining this forum.

I also get that people will think it's strange I'm concerned about leaving my dogs but not my loved ones. Tbh I'm numb to my loved ones now, I feel they will be better without me here and I'm just a nuisance to them. Whereas my dogs need me and can't survive without me feeding and walking them daily. My family would get over it and they have each other. I don't want to be alive to watch my parents die. I want to go before them.
Thanks for everyone who replied to my thread and gave different opinion and options.

If I decide to ctb in the next couple of months I will definitely make sure my dogs are looked after and I will leave them whatever money I have left to make sure they get the care they deserve.

x

I definitely love them all too much to hurt them in anyway and in my mind euthanising them is still hurting them because they are all under 5 years old and don't deserve that.

I was quite sad reading the reply form a member saying that dogs forget you and would adapt to a new surrounding and owner pretty well. I'd hope they would never forget me if I ctb.

I think I just wanted peoples opinions on the subject because it's not something I have come across before joining this forum.

I also get that people will think it's strange I'm concerned about leaving my dogs but not my loved ones. Tbh I'm numb to my loved ones now, I feel they will be better without me here and I'm just a nuisance to them. Whereas my dogs need me and can't survive without me feeding and walking them daily. My family would get over it and they have each other. I don't want to be alive to watch my parents die. I want to go before them.
Thanks for everyone who replied to my thread and gave different opinion and options.

If I decide to ctb in the next couple of months I will definitely make sure my dogs are looked after and I will leave them whatever money I have left to make sure they get the care they deserve.

x

I go through the same thing With my pets. my dog especially because she's not socialized and totally Freaks and stresses around other people and situations. I only leave my house twice a month for groceries and she has severe anxiety just on those short trips. I know most of that is my fault, but I don't see her doing well with anyone else. I am a hermit.

 

[autumnal]

I go through the same thing With my pets. my dog especially because she's not socialized and totally Freaks and stresses around other people and situations. I only leave my house twice a month for groceries and she has severe anxiety just on those short trips. I know most of that is my fault, but I don't see her doing well with anyone else. I am a hermit.

Of course there are the rare exceptions, but at least you could give her the chance to adapt to life with someone else. Worst case scenario, she might not adapt and they might need to euthanase her, but best case scenario she might be fine and live the rest of her life with them.

 

[Jean4]

Is there a reason why your dogs would not be adoptable? Medical reasons, age or some other reason? I'm sorry. I'm confused.

As much as we think our pets can't live without us, they can lol.

 

[Ghost2211]

Having dependents is definitely a hardship if you don't want to be alive. The thing is that they aren't better off dead rather than not having us. I think you should rehome them rather than euthanize them. By that logic should I euthanize my children along with myself because they are my dependents and they need me? I know some people are going to tell me that it's a different with children and animals, but in the end it is not. They are creatures that rely on us need us and are under our care. Their lives will go on without us even if we don't think they will. The only life we should ever consider taking is our own and not Anyone else's.