![Unknown21](/data/avatars/l/61/61699.jpg?1717428867)
Unknown21
?/?/2024
- Apr 25, 2023
- 900
All my life I have wanted to CTB. It is always an option for me. Currently, I do not really know when I will do it. It is always on my mind, but I do not take practical steps toward achieving it except planning and research.
I'm so lost between wanting to end it and wanting to live. It's hard. My circumstances are very difficult and difficult to fix. I should give up at this point. Any hopes are false at this point. I'm very distracted, I want to die but I don't want to shock those close to me, I have some hopes but I know they are false, hope is toxic. I am so distracted and lost that I want to CTB even if this is not the right decision in my situation (hypothetically) just to get rid of this conflict, i want to turn off my mind and thinking. I am very, very tired.
I'm so lost between wanting to end it and wanting to live. It's hard. My circumstances are very difficult and difficult to fix. I should give up at this point. Any hopes are false at this point. I'm very distracted, I want to die but I don't want to shock those close to me, I have some hopes but I know they are false, hope is toxic. I am so distracted and lost that I want to CTB even if this is not the right decision in my situation (hypothetically) just to get rid of this conflict, i want to turn off my mind and thinking. I am very, very tired.