Suicide because of blackmail?

[helpsh]

My boyfriend is blackmailing me because I don't want to be with him and also saying I have to pay him to leave me alone (I'm in debt) but he will ruin my life if not which isn't giving me much choice.

 

[Dot]

Or u cld contct polce & gt an ordr agnst hm - espclly fr blck-ml

 

[Neowise]

I'm pretty sure blackmailing isn't allowed, could the police help you?
Also that doesn't sound like your boyfriend, more like your ex-boyfriend.

 

[derpyderpins]

Crazy asshole. So sorry you ran into one.

I want you to take a deep breath. His whole plan is built around scaring you into doing what he wants, and the pressure is designed to take away your ability to think through things and come up with a proper solution.

Are you in an area with a functioning legal system, and do you have evidence of the blackmail? I don't want to pry into what the blackmail is, but I assume it is nothing that would get you in criminal trouble. As a US attorney I'll tell you a competent lawyer around here could get you a solid protective order and hit him with a hard enough threat that he would back off. I understand that you are in debt, so hiring a private attorney may not be an option, but there may be some programs in your area to help with abuse victims (which is what you are. Your "boyfriend" is threatening you. It's abuse. He's an abuser.) Someone at your local courthouse may be able to push you in the right direction.

Don't let an awful person force you to ctb. Ctb is a personal choice you should make for yourself. He deserves hell for trying to do this to you.

 

[helpsh]

Or u cld contct polce & gt an ordr agnst hm - espclly fr blck-ml

I'm pretty sure blackmailing isn't allowed, could the police help you?
Also that doesn't sound like your boyfriend, more like your ex-boyfriend.

Crazy asshole. So sorry you ran into one.

I want you to take a deep breath. His whole plan is built around scaring you into doing what he wants, and the pressure is designed to take away your ability to think through things and come up with a proper solution.

Are you in an area with a functioning legal system, and do you have evidence of the blackmail? I don't want to pry into what the blackmail is, but I assume it is nothing that would get you in criminal trouble. As a US attorney I'll tell you a competent lawyer around here could get you a solid protective order and hit him with a hard enough threat that he would back off. I understand that you are in debt, so hiring a private attorney may not be an option, but there may be some programs in your area to help with abuse victims (which is what you are. Your "boyfriend" is threatening you. It's abuse. He's an abuser.) Someone at your local courthouse may be able to push you in the right direction.

Don't let an awful person force you to ctb. Ctb is a personal choice you should make for yourself. He deserves hell for trying to do this to you.

The police are useless with domestic abuse. The blackmail isn't anything I've done criminal, it's more so he is blackmailing me with private info and pictures or to contact my family to cause disruption. I've tried to get a restraining order but it's still in the court system unfortunately.

 

[Dot]

The police are useless with domestic abuse. The blackmail isn't anything I've done criminal, it's more so he is blackmailing me with private info and pictures or to contact my family to cause disruption. I've tried to get a restraining order but it's still in the court system unfortunately.

R thy thretnng t/ shw othr ppl nudes

 

[locked*n*loaded]

How bad is what he has on you? Is it anything illegal?

 

[derpyderpins]

The police are useless with domestic abuse. The blackmail isn't anything I've done criminal, it's more so he is blackmailing me with private info and pictures or to contact my family to cause disruption. I've tried to get a restraining order but it's still in the court system unfortunately.

I'm so sorry that is your experience. It's why I give so many disclaimers: the utility of the legal system varies so much place to place. If you came in when I was a clerk we would've given you a temporary restraining order no questions asked and then likely extended it at the hearing which would've been within a month, probably a couple weeks.

Document everything for when you finally do get your day. Record conversations if it's a one-party consent jurisdiction. Obviously save messages, preferably backed up somehow so he can't just take your device.

No matter how awful the info/pictures is/are, realize that these days there are plenty of good people who will not hold it against you and understand that he's the awful one.

 

[L'absent]

If the police are of no use, try to keep him quiet for a while until you can escape to another city or country. Suicide is something desired and personal that depends only on our will and not on blackmail. Your boyfriend is stealing your life and if your existence is important to you, then you have to defend it from everything and everyone.

 

[Trav1989]

Best to just forget about him and let whatever happens happen, you contacted the police so there isn't much else you can do about it sadly. My ex-wife went to all of my family members spreading vitriol about me (mostly heavily exaggerated or blatant lies) and some of them went along with it, others didn't. Best to just move on with your life and just forget dating altogether. I realized that I am a person that requires love and a deep connection and understand I'll never get it so I chose to CTB but I realize many others have a lot more involvement with life than I do anymore so they may as well try as much as they can to find such that suits them.

Regardless, best to just forget about it and move on in your case, I've dated a dozen people in my life and had serious relationships with a handful and then there was marriage but I've came to the conclusion that everyone else selfish when it comes to love, maybe not everyone I guess... but a vast majority.

 

[helpsh]

How bad is what he has on you? Is it anything illegal?

No he's threatening to leak pictures of me to my employer, friends and family.

If the police are of no use, try to keep him quiet for a while until you can escape to another city or country. Suicide is something desired and personal that depends only on our will and not on blackmail. Your boyfriend is stealing your life and if your existence is important to you, then you have to defend it from everything and everyone.

I have work commitments so I can't move

 

[Timothy7dff]

Talk to a lawyer. Many of them do free consultations.

 

[Unspoken7612]

Firstly - he isn't your boyfriend. You don't want to be with him, and he's blackmailing you. A relationship requires free consent, so he isn't your boyfriend any more.

This is really awful. Suicide would seem like an extreme solution - maybe hold off and keep it in your back pocket until later.

Tell your family and friends that this is happening. If you feel comfortable, tell your workplace as well. You need all the support that you can get. Also consider reaching out to domestic abuse charities that operate in your area.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

No he's threatening to leak pictures of me to my employer, friends and family.

The non-consensual distribution of intimate material is against the law (at least where I'm from). I agree with @Nikitatos . You should contact a lawyer about this and see what can be done to stop this. You should also make sure to let your family know about this too (assuming that you come from a loving one), just in case. If you are able to, maybe look into filing a restraining order against him.

 

[Z-A]

A typical abuser. Get a lawyer and inform them about everything. People like that need to be stopped before they ruin your life to the max.

 

[NoName_NoLife]

Its not your boyfriend its persecutor.