So I'm getting ready to ctb, but I don't get it after ordering and starting to wait and right the note. I get so scared it comes and goes, I'm preparing I know I don't want to live that never changes but I just want to cower in a ball and die everything hurts to much so now I'm worrying if in those 1-4 hours of SN how bad that's going to be. Cause failing il have to go through years of psych stuff and continue to live through my worst nightmares. But I know I'm a coward and fool that never has any discipline. If you know anyone who ctb how did they mentally do it.
Every person is different. Some people are more impulsive than others which makes it easier to go through with it. Having a private place to do it and being ready. There is no secret sauce to it.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,024
I think that many people ctb when they are so desperate to leave and would do anything to escape from their situation. They just know that it is the right time to leave, and they are certain and they have no more doubts. Suicide is very difficult after all and feeling like you are unable to go through with it does not mean that you are cowardly. Even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. I understand having the fear of failing ctb and that is what holds me back personally. I wish that there is a way to just peacefully pass away without having to go through the process of planning ctb.
london3
Banned Scammer
- May 5, 2022
- 584
Fear is the same for everyone here who makes the ultimate decision. Survival instinct kicks in for everyone and negative emotions flood your thoughts.
The pain of life must be greater than the fear you have and when that is the case you will suddenly find the courage to ctb. You need to try and distract yourself from these thoughts.
What normally makes you feel relaxed? music, video games, going for a walk in nature? Everyone is different so it is up to you to distract yourself as much as possible.
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